I promise I'll try
by Uniqua123
Summary: A spin off from the Hunger Games: Lee Ann goes of to the annual hunger games, only to have to kill a boy who would die for her, her best friend and a young girl she views as her sister. Hunger Games fanfic. Suzanne Collins owns the hunger games and everything about it. Hunger Games.
1. I must leave

There he stood. On the infamous pedestal. Staring into the distance, his head held high. Why hadn't his father saved him? Why didn't his father rush to him? Rush and push his only son of that pedestal? Grab at his sons coat and _drag_ him off that thing. My father couldn't save me as I was female and he wasn't, and my mother was in no state to help me now. Of course I had my sisters, but I'd never ask them to go through what I am going to go through. I love them too much. But I know had my mother been here she would've rushed to this pedestal I stood upon and took my place and be happy to do it, had my father had the chance he might've done the same, but then who'd look after my sisters? My mother was there of course but she was in no state to help... I would look after them! But in my groupings under 14's aren't allowed to work, we'd probably starve. Maybe it was best I went, I might even come back. Hell, if my mother went she'd probably kill herself on the way there, my dad was strong, physically. But mentally, he'd eat himself up in days, even now the pain of watching me go, to my death, must be tearing him to parts. I'd come back for them. Oh my, she was crying. My 4 year old sister was crying. And I couldn't do anything about it, when would they take me of this damned Pedestal? So I could cry in comfort. I was ready to go. Ready to fight. But not to die, I vowed. Lies.

"May I present the _volunteers_ for this years Hunger Games; Dre Balks and Lee Ann Clayton," the female said clearly.

_Volunteers, _Isaid the word in my head, when had I given the slightest impression that I volunteered for this? I honestly told these people I wanted to die, to volunteer for my death? I volunteered? What liars, I thought, to send us to die for their own personal what? Entertainment? Did this entertain them? Surely it must make them weep in their beds at night, to watch innocent children die on television? If not, then this is not a world I'd like to be part of. Where the citizens enjoyed watching us die? Kill me then, I thought sourly. Kill me and be done with it, because if this is the world I live in, then I'd probably kill myself anyways.

I felt a powdery hand tug on my sleeve, I instinctively shied away, recoiling at the touch. I realised that the whole country had just seen me recoil from one of the Capitol. They wouldn't like that. In their books me, a common girl from the groupings, recoil from them, a Capitol citizen, they'd hang me. I should be on bended knee, praising the Capitol people for their _kindness _their _generosity_. Well I'd never do that. I don't hate the Capitol people, only the way they treated us. The Capitol people have done nothing for me, except split us up according to our background, and forced us to compete in these barbaric games. But still, I must play nice for the cameras, or else they'd harm my family. And nothing means more to me than my family.

"Come, Lee Ann, to the trains," The oddly dressed female ordered me.

I followed after her into the Town Hall, keeping a good five metres away from her. I didn't want her to touch me again, to make the clothes my mother had just washed dirty. We entered a long tunnel, in which she told us to stay close. Then we were in a carriage of some sort. There were two chairs by the window. I sat in one of them and folded my arms, I'm not going to be welcoming. I not going to be nice, I'm going to be hostile. Unforgiving. Mean. I was going to be someone that I wasn't, in order to win these games, and show the Capitol people what I thought of them. Lies again, Lee Ann, God's watching you, I reminded myself.

"Why, aren't you two cute as buttons?" The female said lightly.

"Thanks," Dre Balks muttered.

I remained silent and impassive. The female looked at me then hurriedly stood up and smiled brightly.

"So, I'm here to escort you though these games, my name is Sparkle. You can call my Spark," she offered. This time even Dre said nothing.

"So do you understand what happens in these games? " She asked once more.

I raised both my eyebrows. In shock. Of course I understood these games, it's you that I think isn't clear on what happens hear, I thought darkly.

"I don't," Dre whispered " My brother went last year, and he never came back, though I saw him once on TV. My grandmother told me he'd gone off to get married," Danny explained, but it could see the hints of anger in his eyes. He was at least 12, he knew exactly what happened in these games. Sparkle however, didn't seem to cotton On

"Oh Dre! That's not what happens, you and 14 other people from the other groupings will go to an arena and fight till the,-" she paused hesitantly.

"To the death," A male voice growled. "You'll fight till the death, till only one of you kids are alive. Then you'll become a champion like me and live in the Champion court," The voice continued.

Sparkle looked aghast, her mouth stayed in a perfectly tight line, but she glared at the male who had dared uttered those words. I smiled slightly, but hid it quickly. These people would see no emotion from me. They'd know nothing of me, who I was, what I do, who I love.

"Hi,my names Kirk. Kirk Green," Green, that name rang a bell. "I'm your tutor, and I'll help you through these games in vain hope that one of you will leave the arena alive. I've never been successful in this. Ever. In my whole what is it now Sparkle? 7 years of tutoring, I was the first tutor. First one to win. What an honour," Kirk said sarcastically.

I remember Kirk. When the games were first introduced, he was the one boy picked from our Grouping, we were surprised when he won, but it seemed he only won because he was the only one prepared to accept these horrific games had begun. Whereas everyone else stayed shivering and crying, not even getting a chance to scream when Kirk killed them. It was quite sad to watch. I was only 6 when it happened, but I remember it well. I used to take my sisters with me to the Public Green, where the games showed on a large screen TV. I don't know why I did this, but I refused to watch horrors like the games in my home. That was mine, that I want to be free from memories like that. Kirk turned to me.

"Hey kid, are those your sisters out there?" he asked, gesturing to the girls hammering at the window.

"Tam!Sav!" I screamed, running to the windows "Let me out, now!" I yelled

"Calm, calm, we'll let you out, just wait for the peacekeepers to come," Kirk said.

I waited impatiently for the peacekeepers to come, they seemed to walk as if they were in jelly, slowing down to the slowest pace I'd ever seen. Finally, they came and released me into the arms of my sisters. My dad was standing in the back, obviously crying.

"Lee?" Tammy asked me seriously.

"Yes, Tam," I said

You win. I'm not going to lose you, so win, for me?" Tammy asked me signs if worry appearing on her face.

"I will, I'm coming back," I said, cupping her face in my hands.

"You promise?" Tammy asked me, her eyes fiercly searching mine.

"Yeah, should I bring anything back for you?" I asked, attempting to smile.

"Bring me a purple flower? I've never seen one, and Sav loves purple,"

"I'll bring it then," I vowed serenely.

"Lee, Lee are you leaving?" Sav asked, tugging at my pants.

"Yeah, but- but I'll come back with purple okay?" I said sweetly, bending down to my 4 year old sisters height.

"Purple?" She asked hopefully.

"Yep," I said,

Sav squealed happily, and told me to have fun. I almost cried at her ignorance, but I wouldn't let her suffer. I wouldn't let her see me cry, it would only set her off. Tammy was older, ten wasn't that old to me, but she understood. She knew that there was a very liKelly chance that this was the last time she'd see me. Knew that the purple flower was just a crazy dreamlike thing that she'd never see. Understood I was being sent of to die, but the peacekeepers were watching us. Sparkle and Kirk were watching us, cameras focused themselves on us, so she smiled and took Savs hand and walked back to my father. My dad approached me, keeping his back to the camera's.

"Keep safe. Don't make friends. Come back. I'll be watching you," He said shortly.

"Yes dad, keep mum safe and don't let her watch me on the Tv. Or Sav and Tam," I replied stiffly.

"I won't. I love you. And listen to Kirk" He added the last sentence on quickly, but staring into my eyes.

"I will dad, love you too," I whispered on the verge of tears. I was just going to walk away so as to cry in peace, but dad grabbed me into a hug. I sobbed quietly into his chest, when he released me I wiped my eyes and walked stiffly back onto the train. The peacekeepers locked the doors tightly behind me. I had lied to my father, I had no intention of listening to Kirk. He was a murderer. Yes it was self defence. But he had killed. And accepted money and praise for it. I'd listen to no man who had done those things. I'd find my way home without becoming a killer. I would.

"Cute family," Kirk commented when I sat back down in the carriage.

I just nodded, afraid my voice would crack and reveal how sad I was.

"Knew your father. He was a great friend of mine, before the groupings of course," He added.

" That nice." I murmured uninterested.

"I knew your mum too," He added wistfully.

I didn't know this, but aI couldn't be bothered replying, all I wanted to do was cry.

So we sat in Silence. Me, Kirk, Sparkle and Dre. In silence we sat.

A/N

Sorry for any mistakes I might make in this story, with the names, I changed the names of 3 of the characters:

Tammy used to be Toya but is now Tammy sorry for any confusion.

Cameron used to be Cole but is now Cameron

Dre used to be Danny but is now Dre.


	2. The Train

It has been two days since I came on this train. This train the was leading me to my death. No not my death, as I would come back, but it was leading me to something that would ultimately lead to death. And sorrow. Death and sorrow. I hadn't spoken to anyone,I refused to and they left me alone, while I cried in my allocated room. When I felt I was fresh out of tears, I decided to take a shower. What would mum think? Two days without even changing my clothes? She'd be ashamed of me. So I stepped into the shower, it had been 7 years since I'd had the luxury of a shower. I could just remember how to use it. I fiddled with the buttons until lukewarm water blanketed me. I stood there for 15 minutes before I had to get out, the water reminded me of tears. And tears reminded me of sadness. And sadness made me cry. But I Was fresh out of tears now. They'd left me, so maybe I could socialise until I'd regenerated enough water for me to cry again.

When I'd dressed I walked into the main carriage. Dre was sat alone reading a book, I sat myself downbeat to him.

"Hey," he smiled.

"Hello. Where is Kirk?" I asked mechanically.

"Dunno," He said shrugging, "Where have you been?"

"In my carriage,"

"Crying?" He said sympathetically.

"You could say that," I replied drily.

"I remember you. From before the groupings of course," Dre said, blushing slightly.

Yes from before the groupings, I repeated. When we all lived in Great Britain, and that's what we all were, British citizens. Then a young man named, Nicholas Swan became Prime Minister. No it was _Supreme_ Minister now. He was an evil man, but he thought he was better than us all for he was the only one left who had strictly English blood that wasn't contaminated with any other nationality and could even trace his family back to the times where England was Britain and it was ruled by Queen Elizebeth the second, and that was at least 100 years ago, and he was related to the Queen himself. The Royal family may have ruled long ago, but the people in England or Ingles Nowadays still treated their name with the upmost respect. It was a rare gift I admit,to be able to trace your family that far back and be related to the Queen herself, but he took it to far. He split us all into 8 groups, depending on our race or background. I was in the lats and worst grouping, grouping 8. For the black people of African or Caribbean descent. With the odd non black person, who must have just done something super bad to Nicolas Swan and had ended up in our Group. Group 7 consisted of Asians, who were treated slightly better than us. Group 6 was the Americans, Group 5 were the Irish and those who had married into good families, group 4- the Scottish, Group 3-the white people, group 2- the other Europeans from countries that were formerly knows as Poland and Germany and Spain, then the best other than the Capitol of course, Group 1- People who could trace their families back to at least 50 years back as being pure English. The Capitol consisted of those who were related vaguely to the past Royal families. There weren't very many of them, maybe only 500, but a few hundred from Group 1 could migrate to the Capitol. Before this, we had all been British citizens, we had lived happily and all went to school with each other. Most of us have never even been to these countries that they used to classify us. My father said the last person in his family to have been born in Jamaica was his great grandmother. My mother doesn't even think anyone in her family was born in Jamaica, maybe a great aunt. Yet here we were in Group 8. The poorest, malnourished group there is. And the main duty our group was given was food, we grew fruits and crops. Group 1 had gotten Nuclear weapons. We had gotten mango's and sugar cane. I can vaguely remember time before the groupings, I remember the people I went to school with. Most of my class mates had gone to group 3, a few had come with me to group 8, like Dre here. I chose to isolate myself from them, they just brought back bad memories from when it was a happier time. A time my youngest sister will never even know, and my oldest sister can't remember. Then Nicholas Swan had introduced the Hunger games. It was a lesson to tech us how to suffer, so we could grow stronger. So every year 2 people boy and girl, from the Groups got picked to fight in the arena till only one of us survived. It was sick and mad and pathetic. Group 8 had only won once. Group 1 and 6 were the most popular winners, since group 1's main duty was to develop nuclear weapons, and 6 provided the Capitol with lumber and such so they were handy with an axe. Sometimes Group 7 won, but only because they developed weaponry, well the metal to produce it, but they still had time to play around with some lethal tools so they were at an advantage in the Arena. Group 3 strangely had never won, probably because they developed Advanced technology, and that was pretty much useless when they out you In the Arena that was always made up of wilderness. I'd watched many of my friends die in the arena from Group 3. I wonder if anyone in Group 3 would weep over me? Probably not. Toya always asked me this question whenever she saw me cry. But if I was not so determined to win,I'd probably make sure Cameron won and he was from 3. I remember him the most from before the groupings. He was a close friend of mine at school and his sister used to let my mum do her hair. He was an amazing boy and I always prayed he'd never enter the Games. But now he was in it, along with me. And one of us had to die. And I know I couldn't kill him. So I'd have to let someone else do it. This was all because of the groupings. Because of Nicholas Swan. I'd have to kill my best friend.

"Lee Ann?" Dre asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"Oh,yes. I don't remember you,"

"I was a year younger than you, but I always noticed how you picked your sister different coloured flowers each day. She was only two or three, I doubt she even kept them long, but you still did it," He said.

"Actually she did keep them. She has them all in a vase at home, she lost a few though,"

"Wow," Drw breathed "What colours does she have?"

"Orange, yellow, pink, red and green," I replied

"So that's why she asked you for purple?" He asked.

I nodded tightly. I didn't know he had heard that.

"I think you should win these games Lee Ann, you deserve to. I have only my grandmother at home, she'll die soon anyways, you have your sisters, they need you, and your mom-" I cut him off there.

"These games are sadistic and evil. I don't plan on winning them, I'm just going to survive them,"

"I'm sorry if I offend you, I just wanted you to know I'm on your side. Your ally even, just win okay? So we can give our group some pride?"

I looked at Dre Balks in the eye and saw the pain in them. Of losing his brother. Of possibly losing himself, his grandmother. Of accepting that. Bravery I thought, I admired him. Oh great, if I got to know this kid any better I'd be incapable of killing him. I couldn't let that happen, I already couldn't kill Cameron, any more people and I may as well just kill myself and be over with it.

"Did you see Cameron Telcos in Group 3? I would have thought his dad would take his place. Mine would have."

I decided to act dumb. "Cameron Telcos? That scrawny kid in 3? Oh yeah. Maybe his dad had other things going on?" I offered.

Danny looked at me strangely. " Yes Cameron Telcos, you and him were inseparable before the groupings. I'd have thought you'd remember him," Danny said tersely.

Oh but I do, Dre, too much. So much that I may have to break the promise I made with me sister over it.

"Remembering makes me upset," I said simply, getting up to leave the room.

My body had regenerated enough water now. The tears were pushing against my eyelids, forcing themselves out.


	3. Do you have any skills?

Sobbing quietly, I heave the sheets from off my head, and sit up. Sparkle has been banging on my door for at least half an hour. I thought by ignoring her she'd leave me alone, it's only been a day since I retired here after the conversation with Dre. I thought they'd give me at least a week to recover. Obviously not.

"Coming," I called weakly to Sparkle

"Hurry up, we arrive at the Capitol tomorrow and Kirk would like to run some things through with you and Dre," She called back.

I didn't even reply, I just walked into the shower, stripped and stood there letting the warm water wash all over me. I hate these games, a few hours ago It watched the _Volunteers Presentation _for all the other Groups. From group 1 twins, they looked pretty strong, but they were still beautiful, but I knew hat they developed Nuclear Weapons, they'd blow me up without a second thought if I meant they could win. From 2 a nerdy looking boy who I think was polish and a tanned Spanish girl, 2 never won, all they did was catch fish as their main duty, nothing to prepare them for the Arena. They seemed like one of those people who got killed in the battle near the Cornucopia. From 3 a 18 year old girl, who looked hard and brash, and of course... Cameron Who was only 14, only a year older than me. Who to keep my promise to my sister, would have to die. From the rest of the groups other stood out to me except a young 10 year old girl from Group 5. I had noticed how her because she had actually volunteered to come to these games. I think it had been her older sister who had been chosen, but it looked as if she had millions of little red headed brothers and sisters, and they tugged onto their older sister as she walked up to the pedestal. She knew that her siblings needed her older sister and not her, and since the rules were that any family member of the same gender could volunteer for that person if they wanted to, she volunteered. Even though most times you'd be rejected if you had no real reason for volunteering for that person. Like my mother, had she been able bodied too, would probably not be allowed to volunteer for me, I was almost of age, I was not mentally unstable, and if she left that would just leave my father with 3 kids and one persons wages. So people normally never volunteered. But this girl did, and she was accepted too. Her names is Melanie Fosters. I wouldn't get to know her though, or else I wouldn't be able to kill her. Not that I'm going to kill anyone anyways. I don't feel as if it's my place to take someone's life, that's Gods choice. Plus there was already at least 2 people I wouldn't be able to kill in that arena, so I figured I'd let all the others do the killing and I'd just hid until I was the only one left. Obviously that was a fantasy, but I deserved to fantasise at least, didn't I?

I jumped out the shower a pulled some combat trousers on and a long sleeved top.

"Decided to join us have you?" Kirk asked sarcastically when I entered the main carriage.

Sparkle scolded him and told me it was okay if I was a weeney bit late. I was an hour late.

"So what is it that's so important?"I asked coldly.

In the shower I had decided that I would act cold and harsh to these people, except Dre, but only when we were alone. And for the cameras I'd be quiet and indifferent. So these people would never know the real me, I don't want them to know what I'm really like, it would make my skin crawl to have these despicable people know the real me.

"She means what is it you want to talk about?" Dre corrected hastily.

"Well, I'd've it was pretty obvious, we need to work on your technique for the games, your skills?" Kirk said

"What?" I asked

"How do you plan on surviving these games? Can you fight? Do you have any skills?" Kirk said, enunciating each word as if I was mentally slow. What made him feel he had the right to play this banter with me? Stupid killer.

"I can tell which crops and fruits are poisonous just by rubbing my finger on them, or by their appearance even if I've never seen them before, and I can grow fruit out of anything in any kind of soil," I said, lowering my head.

"So can I," Dre piped up.

"Well that's great guys! Really clever of you," Sparkle said happily, her false Capitol teeth gleaming brightly in the light.

"No it's not," Kirk said shortly," Any four year old in Group 8 can do that, or all the kids would be dead, as they eat whatever they find growing in the fields," Kirk continued disdainfully.

He was right of course, my youngest sister Savannah(Sav) could tell which foods were yummy(edible) and sickly(poisonous), and she had just turned four last year. It was a skill every child had to pick up, for as Group 8's main duty was to grow food, and children often played in the growing fields as their parents worked, they had to know which foods they could munch on.

"Oh Kirk! Don't be so pessimistic," Sparkle scolded.

"Well it's true, any toddler can do that, and though it might help in the arena you have to be alive to eat the edible foods and not eat the poisonous ones,"

"Ic an run too," Dre added.

"How fast?" Kirk asked.

"Pretty fast, according to my brother and he used to be a sprinting coach, he coached used to coach Jonathan Hadley(sprinter). Before the groupings of course," Before he died in these games last year I added mentally.

"That's good, that might help, are you any good in combat?"

"No. My brother wasn't a fighter," Dre said sadly.

"I remember him! Ryan Balks! From last year, very one thought he'd win, but he died trying to run from one of the Group 1 kids," Sparkle shouted brightly.

We all looked at her hatred in our eyes, we may not be close friends but we were all from group 8 and had suffered together, at the hands of people like her who thought the Games were fun.

"Well, if you don't want to go the same way as your brother, I suggest you become one," Said Kirk acting as if Sparkle hadn't even spoken.

"I don't fight. I can't fight if I'm running," Dre objected.

"Well find a way, throw knives, axes, do archery-"

At this word Kirk had caught my attention, I'd always wanted to be a pro at archery, my dad had tried teaching me once and though I'd caught on quickly and could've gone on to master it, he stopped teaching me saying that he'd seen enough. I think it was because that was a hobby him and mum used to do before the Groupings, it was how they fell in love, when they went hunting together with their bow and arrows. Kirk had obviously noticed my sudden look of intuition.

"So you don't have no more skills girlie?" He asked me

"Nope," I said

"Your father didn't seem like a man to send you here unprepared," Kirk commented.

"He didn't send me here, I volunteered," I said snidely, while Sparkle looked at me with confusion. Obviously understanding I hadn't ever volunteered for this but that was merely a message Nicholas Swan sent out.

"But still, he knew it was a possibility. He wouldn't have let you come here with no means to survive," Kirk argued.

And he was right, my father had not sent me hear without any preparation. But I just wasn't prepared to tell him that, and even though Dre had said he was going to keep me alive, I didn't want to entrust him with my secret skill, in case he joined up with the Groupies And told them. But he way Groupies is what we in the Groups call people from 1,2 and sometimes 4, for they were the capitols personal pets and got treated far better than groups 5-8.

A few of years ago, when I was just settling into being in Group 8, when I was about 9, I had been bored and baby Sav was asleep so I couldn't play with her and Tammy had been with dad at the fields I was very bored. I noticed a long sharp stick on my window, I picked it up and threw it, aiming at a vague circle on my wall. It missed obviously, but I was determined to get this stick in the circle and stay there not fall of. So I tried for days and days until I achieved it. I liked my new hobby, so I practiced it daily, in the privacy of my back garden or the ally near my school. I became superb at it, I could through my sharp stick almost anywhere I wanted it to, and it would land there accurately and stay there too. One day I was in my back garden playing with Sav, and I decided to try it with the bluntest of kitchen knives so as to stop her crying as the sharp stick failed to interest her. I was surprised when it hit the target I'd drawn and stayed there. My father saw and immediately began perfecting this talent, until I had fully mastered knife throwing. Nowadays it was a second nature to me. He then taught me combat with a knife which wasn't as easy but I was average at it. It was a good thing to have up ones sleeve, so we attempted to teach Tammy it when she turned nine, but she had a talent with a bow and arrow. Picking it up immediately and mastering it in under a year. I tried but never became as good, and then dad stopped teaching us it. Tammy continued practicing deep in the growing fields some days though.

"Well I'm sure I can pick some things up, at the Preparation Centre once I get to the Capitol," I replied icily.

"Well Dre, when you get to the Preparation Centre, for that week I want you to devote yourself to some sort of combat training, axe or knife throwing, archery, camouflage, anything. You too girl, trust me you'll need it,"

I nodded curtly, wondering what type of combat at I'd try and pick up. Not knife throwing, that would reveal my talent. Not axe throwing either, for I despised axes, they were horrible and evil looking. I couldn't do archery, for that was my sisters skill, and what if one day she came here, and everyone assumed since I had done it she could and she lost the power of having a secret skill. I wouldn't hurt her chances that way. Maybe I'd try trapping, my dad had always commented on what an important skill it was, and how useful it could be. Yes, I decided internally, I'd learn all there was to know about snares. And how to swim of course, Sav and Tammy had always ached for the knowledge of how to swim, we didn't have many lakes or rivers back home so there was no chance to learn, and most people at the Training Centres dismissed the idea of learning to swim totally, but I had always said, had I the chance I'd learn too swim. And maybe if aI got out from here, I could at least teach Tammy and Sav the techniques of it, even without the water.

"Well, that's all Really, tomorrow morning over breakfast, Sparkle will teach you how to behave during interview and photo shoots, and in the Capitol. Also you'll be assigned a stylist who will give you what to wear during your two weeks in the Capitol before the Arena," Kirk said finally.

"Any advice on what do once we get there?" Asked Dre.

"Run. From the cornucopia. Grab a bag, any bag and run, if you can get a weapon, but weapons don't really matter yet, just grab a bag and run to find some sort of water. "

Dre and I nodded in understanding.

I got up to leave once I realised that we were done here.

"So you're sure you have no skills?" Kirk asked again.

I shock my head and walked out. If I survived this, I suppose I'd have to apologise for lying to him.


	4. Dre

When I walked to my room, a pair of light footsteps followed me. Dre of course. I gestured for him to sit down on one of the cushions on the floor, I sat on my bed and stared at him, wondering why he'd followed me.

"So?" I asked finally.

"Aren't you scared?" He asked, his voice shaking.

"No," I lied smoothly.

"I am. I'm scared someone will kill you." He said.

This threw me. "Why would you be scared of that? That just means one less person for you to kill," I said sharply.

"I've already told you. I'm not killing anyone. Not unless it's to protect you, I already told you that you're going to win, and I'll make sure of it," He said solemnly

"What for? I don't want you to do that, I'll never be able to repay you," I said shakily, my cold mean faćade wearing off.

"To give out Group something to be proud of," He replied automatically.

"But you could do that if you win," I argued.

"When you win, just- just look after my Grandmother for me, tell her I told you too, she can be a pretty stubborn woman,"

"Dre, don't talk like that, I've not even met the competition and I'm hardly what you'd call a survivor," I said miserably.

"I know you'll win, for your sisters,"

"I don't think I'm capable of killing people," A person, I corrected in my head.

"Cameron?" He asked, sounding quite sad.

"No," I lied again.

"Don't lie. I know you won't be able to kill him, or maybe anyone else for that matter," Dre said sympathetically, patting my shoulder.

"I'm not weak," I protested.

"Not being able to kill doesn't mean your weak, it just means you have a soul," said Dre sweetly.

I leant over and hugged him, tears rolling down my face. He patted my back comfortingly.

"I need to stop crying," I said wiping them away.

"Just don't cry for these people, they don't deserve to see your emotions," Danny said, still cradling me.

"Dre. This is where it stops," I said firmly, sitting up taller.

"Where what stops?" He asked hurt.

"Me crying, and being weak, and not participating in anything, these Capitol people may thing they own me but they don't, I'll survive their _games_" I hissed" Then I'll stop this, these cruel things they do,"

"So you plan on winning then?"

"Dr I honestly don't know, I want to come back for my sisters, but I'd never live with myself if I killed these people. And after this, I could never kill you," Or Cameron, I mentally added.

"I couldn't kill you. Or Cameron. But I know you need to win, and when you do, just end these games, or do something good for someone who needs it, just in memory of me, you know?" Dre asked sheepishly.

I admired Dre, how bravely he discussed his own death and accepted it, for me, a girl he had never known before these games. If only maybe I had met him before this! we could've been friends! but then that would just have made this, that much harder. I couldn't kill him now, or Cameron, or that little girl Melanie, or anyone who was younger than me, for that would be like slaughtering my own ten year old sister.

"You know Cameron?" I asked

"He used to help me with my Arithmetic, in the library even when the teachers told him not to, I'm pretty thick and they wanted me to learn. But he still helped me and was given detention for hours for it. Yet he still said he was my friend, and he was your friend too. So that meant to me that he was a good person," I blushed lightly at what Dre had said, I don't know Cameron was ever his friend, I felt a little guilty.

"But you were only 5, I didn't know you started arithmetic so young?" I asked, remembering how when I first started arithmetic at age 6 it was the hardest thing I'd done! and how even at that young age Cameron had excelled in it.

"I remember the special things," Dre said simply.

"I think.,. Once we get to the Capitol, we shouldn't appear as friends," Dre suggested.

"Why?" I asked

"So when We get in the arena people will assume I'll leave you to die. But I'll protect you and throw them off, then when it's down to the final 5 we can become allies again and hunt everyone down,"

This seemed like a good strategy, one Id never seen in any of the games I remembered. And I remembered them all.

"Then what? When it's left down to just us Dre?" I said emotionless, my cold bitch mode coming back on.

"I'll kill myself, or hunt down a volunteer and let them kill me," Dre told me.

"No. I won't watch you die. Let's just go our separate ways once we get in the arena, but if you need me scream, and I'll come help you? But other than that, it will be less painful if we keep distance?" I didn't mean to say it as harsh as it sounded.

Hurt filled his eyes, but I could see he knew this was the best way.

"Scream if you need my help then? Anything, and I'll come, I swear," Dre promised.

He got up to leave my room, as he was about to walk our the door, he turned to me, blew me a kiss and said:

"I know you won't kill Cameron,"

Cameron, I thought miserably. How would I win if it meant his death? Dre's death? Melanie's death? Everyone's death!


	5. My mum

I could smell the Capitol. It made me want to throw up the breakfast I'd just eaten. Considering it was something from the Capitol it wasn't very tasty, in fact it tasted quite old and flavourless. I know that the food had come from home, in group 8, the food they forced my father to grow and harvest or the meat from cows and chickens that people from home had to raise and kill, the food my sisters often stole from the Growing Fields. It was a crime of course, punishable by 10 lashes from the whip. But our head peacekeeper wasn't that cruel, plus nearly all the kids did it, it was the only way for the younger ones to feed themselves when their parents worked as much as 10 hours a day. However the food we purchased at home or grew in our gardens tasted much better than this, and the chickens we raised tasted much better than the chicken I and tasted here. I laughed mirthlessly to my self, well if this is the quality of food the Capitol lived on, my pity goes out to them. There chicken stew was nothing like my mothers, though the last time my mother had anything as complicated as her chicken stew, Sav had been 2.

This morning Sparkle had explained me and Dre that we'd enter into the Preparation Centre early tomorrow, and we'd make an entrance, pulled in by horse drawn chariots, in the best outfits our stylists could muster. Then later that day we'd have an interview so the audience could get to know us and chose which volunteer they'd like to sponsor. It was very important, for sponsors could save your lives with their bundles of cash. I don't care. I wouldn't utter a word in that interview if I could help it. I didn't want their money, or their gifts, or their screams and cheers. I wanted nothing of these people, these people who have forced me to come here in hopes that I will kill all children. These innocent children who have barely lived, then again, who would want their children to live in a world like this? Any one with a half a brain would surely keep their pants on and refrain from bringing any more helpless souls into this worlds. However I had once read that true love can't be fulfilled unless there is a child to come of it. I don't know whether I'd have children when I was older. If I found the right person I suppose so, but I'm still to young to consider that. And in my grouping you're not allowed to get married until your 18. I'd realised the strictest rules had always been inflicted on our grouping. Like no marriage until your 18, in others it was 16, nobody earning more than 10 grand a year, not that anyone in my grouping earned nearly that much. And the peacekeepers here being able to kill us as punishment. Now I knew for a fact that it was not so in any other grouping. Except maybe 6, with the Americans, they were disliked as much as us, and were treated fairly the same as us. But yet still their living conditions were better, they were allowed things we weren't and food wasn't something they had to struggle to get. Like we did in group 8, even though it was us who provided the food.

I hate the Capitol. So much. No, not even the Capitol, they hadn't forced this, it had all been Nicholas Swan. However they had encouraged him and joined him and did nothing to stop him,they were guilty by association. Hate? Really, Lee Ann?

"Lee Ann? " Sparkle called loudly in her high pitched voice.

"Yes?" I replied tiredly, still dragging out the cold mean personality I'd adopted for these people.

"Oh there you are!" She exclaimed, walking into my compartment, "So do you understand what you need to do at all your interviews and events you attend on the Capitol?" She asked

"Smile,Laugh and _Sparkle_," I chanted sarcastically. Knowing fine well that I'd do no such thing.

"Good girl! The sponsors will love you!" She exclaimed, applauding me meanwhile.

I tried to contain the surge of anger and hatred for these Capitol people that surged through my veins. Calm, I told myself, keep your calm. I'd recently vowed to myself that once I got to the arena, I wouldn't take any human life, I wouldn't become the savage I'd watched many of my old classmates become. Even those who had pinched my sisters cheeks and exclaimed at how cute she was, I'd watched those said people rip their opponents faces apart with their bare hands. It was horrifying to watch, and I wouldn't become that. Of course if I was under vicious attack and there was no way I'd be able to escape I'd have to defend myself, but if it was possible, I'd run and hide fro any of my attackers. Until it was only me left. Gosh? Is this what I'd become, a girl who fantasises about things she knows won't happen. As if the Game makers would allow me to hide from the blood bath undetected and safe from harm. I laughed humourlessly.

Sparkle looked at me strangely, then quickly recovered herself.

"Anyways, I must dash, things to organise, it's so good being home, isn't it?" she asked me as she dashed out the door.

I got up to follow her and strangle her for saying that severely unthoughtful sentence. After this thought I quickly scolded myself, how violent I was already. Since I was up out of my bed I wandered down each compartment aimlessly, simply wishing to get rid of my boredom. I didn't like the person I was becoming, I was becoming an empty shell, whose only emotions were anger and hatred. I wished to be compassionate again, but no. Not until after these games, where I could be at home safe with my family. On my travels, I saw Dre. His eyes were puffy and red as if he'd been crying, there were tear stains on his cheeks.

"You okay?" I asked walking over to him.

"No," He replied

"Come here," I said, pulling him into an embrace, he sobbed lightly into my chest.

"Is it because you might die?" I asked sympathetically

"No,I miss my dad. And my brother, and my mum," He replied

"Oh," Was all I could say. How could he mourn over the dead now,when he was probably going to join them?

"When was it that your mum passed again, Dre?" I asked.

"3 years ago they killed her, a few weeks before my dad died," He said stiffly.

When he said they I knew he referred to the Capitol, individually Nicholas Swan and his _peacekeepers_. I remember his mothers death quite we'll surprisingly, it was before around about the time my mum became sick. She had run home, hysterical that the young woman who had often spoken to her and had 2 other children around about my age had been killed. Shot on the spot, I remember my mum describing it. Apparently, she had picked a few sparse grapes, that were known to cure fever, and have them to her children without permission, it was understandable of course, her husband- Dre's dad- worked in the East side of the field, which was the hardest place to work, and her two kids had been sat with her in the sweltering sun while she worked, bored and hot for the last weeks, only receiving small amounts of sleep. Obviously they had been sick and bored and hot, so his mother had picked up a few of medicinal grapes. As soon as the peacekeepers found out, they shot her. The whole town was in silent uproar, as the Younger children had been doing just this for as long as we could remember, obviously they didn't tolerate it from the workers. I can't remember her name though. I think. I must have blocked I must have blocked it out for it caused me sad thoughts, because I normally always remember thing like that. I remember the sad things.

"I'm sorry," I muttered.

"I miss him and mum so much, Lee Ann. I miss the way he sang my mums favourite lullaby, and taught it to us all so as to make her happy. The way he stroked her hair and told us stories, and the way he always whistled and smiled and laughed. I miss her, and her powdery flowery smell, how her elegant fingers would violently tickle me and make me laugh, and how she'd say my eyes shone like little stars. I miss them so much," He admitted.

I admire this boy so much. Too much. He just admitted all these feelings to me, someone he'd met only a few days ago, but trusted so fully. He was prepared to die, for me, how could I ever compete with that sort of goodness, bravery. I'd never be able to repay him, but I vowed if I got out of this and he didn't, Id make sure she had the most comfortable life I could offer her. In his honour.

"Then when my dad died, my grandmother had to take us in," he continued, "She was old and had just lost her daughter and now this, two young boys to feed. She worked to the bone for us, I respect her for that, always. She reminded me of mum, so I treated her like she was. I think she loved me too, almost as much as she loved my mum. But it was Ryan she loved the most, for when we had lost both our parents he tried to make everything better, he sang my mums lullaby. He tickled me. He told me stories. He taught me everything I know now, and made sure I was never hungry. He was a great man, and I can't believe the Hunger Games took him. Since he went, me and my grandma have never been the same, it's all quiet," He explained sadly.

I pondered over what he had said for a while. What a sad life he had? He was only twelve, only two years older than a toya back at home, it would rip me apart if I ever heard her talk with such suffering and pain in her voice. Yet this young boy had gone through this since he was 9, and still seemed fairly stable. It was a miracle he was still here with us, and sane.

"That's why you said there's nothing for you at home?" I asked Sadly.

"Not anymore, not since Ive left," He said enunciating each word, and lowering his eyes from mine. Why? I wondered.

"That's sad," I noted, "I think you should still try to win, in memory of your brother,"

"No," he said firmly "My brother didn't approve of these games, and it would only make him sad if he thought I tried to win these games or hurt anyone,"

Sounds like me, I noted to myself.

"You remind me of him sometimes, when you say certain things, or look at me a certain way," he added lightly.

"Yeah,"

"You've got to win this, Lee Ann,"

"I can't win if it means you have to die," And Cameron I added, and that little girl from 5 too.

"No, forget about me. I'm going to die, and when I do, please promise you'll try to win?" He pleaded.

"I'll only try if you actually die. Not kill yourself, or let someone kill you, but only if you genuinely die out there," I countered. Maybe if I watched over him in the arena and prevented him from dying I could possibly kill myself and allow him to win? But there was always Cameron...

"Fair deal," He sighed.

"Well, since that's covered, I was wondering if we could be friends?" He asked, "Not in the arena of course, but before, while we stay in the Capitol maybe?" He added hastily.

I smiled before I replied.

"Sure,"

"So friend, what do you want to do today?"

"Go home," I said miserably.

I scolded myself internally, hadn't I vowed to myself I'd stop this moping about? Stop missing home and just make sure I get back there? Then again, I'd promised I'd be my true self when I was around Dre, it was the least I could give him, and that was what my true self would've told him. I'm changing my mind and behaviour too often these days.

"Hows your mum these days Lee Ann?" Dre asked me suddenly.

My mum. What could I say? The groupings hadn't agreed with her. You see, my mother was a party girl, wild, fun and free. When she was sent to the dreary, dull Group 8, she had simply snapped. Of course my mum had been a loving and caring wife and mother, and often stayed at home to cook or spend time with us, but she missed going out with her friends, and partying and doing archery with my dad. Of course most of her friends were sent to group 3, so I figure maybe jealousy had something to do with why she snapped. I beg of you not to get the wrong idea of my mother? She was an amazing woman really, before the groupings she'd been so full of life. Many times a week, she'd come home with flowers for dad or go archery with him, and bring chocolates for me and Toya and give us hugs and kisses, and best of all read us her stories. Other than archery, my mothers best talent was writing, when she wrote us her poems it was like being in my mums head, she wrote so well I could understand the most complicated of plots even at the young age of 6 because she explained them so well. Her stories were the best part, they were like my teddies, aI couldn't go to sleep without them.

When we arrived in group 8, we could tell she was suffering, she did try to stay the same, but her stories were boring, she couldn't go archery with dad anymore,there weren't very many pretty flowers to bring home here, and we couldn't afford chocolate. My mum simply faded away, until she became a frightening woman, that we barely recognised, she would speak to herself and to her friends that had gone of to group 3 as if they were still here, she would blank out and forget where we were or walk out and about as if we weren't in group 8, and she acted as if the hunger games didn't exist. And demand that dad take her archery, when he told it was banned, she raged and screamed and cried. This was a routine the family endured daily. When Sav was born, we thought she had recovered somewhat, but she just spiralled away again like before. Recently she had begun working with dad at The Growing Fields, and she had become better and was cooking more often, dad said it's because she had fresh air and could socialise with people now. Hopefully she was oblivious to the fact that I'd probably die, I wanted her to get better for Sav and Toya's sake. So they could meet the woman me and dad had loved so much.

" She is recovering," I replied simply.

"Granny said she started working at the fields," Danny noted

"Yes, she has, alongside my dad. It makes her feel better he says, the fresh air," I added wistfully.

"Granny said she was a very beautiful woman,"

"Thats nice of her,"

"Tell your mum she said that, I don't want granny to become friendless when I- when this is over,"

I merely nodded my head, I had gotten much to close to this boy for my liking. I know I will never be able to kill him or watch him die, and to have to face his grandmother when it's all over, no. I'd never be able to do it, this was all to emotionally complicated for me. That's 3 people out of 15 already that I wouldn't be able to kills for even though I don't know Melanie Fosters, she was only ten, the youngest age eligible for The Hunger Games, and it would never feel right killing her, even if she was prepared to kill me in the most painful way possible. I hate you Nicholas Swan. So very much.


	6. The Stylist

"Blacks again, I see," Our stylist greeted us as Kirk pushed into the room to meet her.

I was immediately thrown off by this comment, not by the black part of course, I was used to people judging me by the colour of my skin, but it was the fact that she had expected someone of a different race. Group 8 was about 95% made up of black residents, and those who had mixed backgrounds like my mother for example, who was quarter Spanish.

"What did you expect we come from Group 8?" Dre asked confused.

"Well, I suppose that since you do come from 8, there's nothing more to expect. Spending all day bathing under the sun, planting a few seeds now and then," The stylist said snidely.

Kirk growled under his breath and Dre looked very flabbergasted, but none of them seemed to be attempting to protest against her. Why weren't they? They'd let this little Capitol stylist talk about our group like that? I abandoned my impassive and silent demeanour.

"Planting a few seeds? My parents and many others spend at least 10 hours a day sweltering under the sun, planting thousand of seeds, and not only that, but raising chicken and cows and ducks for you people to eat lavishly here in the Capitol, don't you dare try and imply otherwise," I hissed at her.

Dre stared at me, his mouth in a perfect 0 shape. No need to be so surprised, I could be a bitch when I wanted to.

"Didn't your parents teach you any manners? What do they teach you brats at school? " The stylist screamed hysterically.

"Literature, Arithmetic, Sciences, Music, History and Food Studies," I answered sarcastically.

"Don't you dare insult her parents," Kirk interjected angrily.

I resisted the urge to smile at him.

"Well since you learn Literature, you should know that those were rhetorical questions, Chica Insolente," She quipped, obviously thinking I wouldn't understand the Spanish.

"I'm not insolent, señorita," I said sweetly, showing that my parents had taught me some manners.

The stylist looked surprised and humiliated. Well, I thought happily to myself! she'd never underestimate someone from group 8 ever again. Though I think I was probably one of the ten maybe, in Group 8 that could speak Spanish. It was forbidden to learn any other language than English in Groups 5-8, but I'd learnt Spanish before the Groupings.

"My,my Daisy, become quite snippy over the last year, haven't you?" Kirk said finally.

"I'm going to pretend your girl here said nothing to me, and start anew, I haven't got time for her petty games," Daisy said icily.

I had been petty? I thought to myself. Pathetic woman.

"Whatever Daisy, now how do you plan to dress them this year? For the chariot ride?" he asked.

"As a knife and Fork to represent eating, since their groups duty is to provide Food," Daisy replied shortly.

Drw glanced at me wearily. Group 8's volunteers were always dressed as a knife and fork, at first it was tasteful, but now it had been overdone, and never got us noticed by the sponsors and made us laughed at by the other volunteers.

"No. Not again Daisy." Kirk said firmly.

"What do you expect them to be dressed as then? They have to represent their Groups Duty," She said, sarcastically.

No one spoke for a while, the answer seemed obvious I thought. I was sure Danny knew what I was thinking, I hoped so, for I wasn't going to utter another word to this woman today, I was going to re adopt my impassive and brooding attitude again, though I didn't particularly like the idea of being either a knife or fork.

"Well it's obvious, right? " Dre piped up. Thank God, I thought to myself.

Daisy gave him a death glare. He shut up immediately, oh Dre! I raged to myself, why were you actually obeying this cow?

"Dress us up as food, since we produce your food?" I couldn't stop myself from saying.

"Perfect! Well work on it then Daisy, I'll be back for them at 5" Kirk said happily, while walking out the room, leaving us with this cold woman.

Daisy muttered to herself angrily, while collecting a few items from a cabinet to the far left, I decided to sit down in one of the swivel chairs in the middle of the room. Dre followed me shyly and sat down next to me in an identical chair. Finally, Daisy came and stood in front of us, her face looked unforgiving.

"I'm going to dress you as a berry. One of the poisonous ones, that kill you as soon as they enter your mouth," She said, staring at me.

Great, I was going to be dressed as a night lock berry. At home we'd been taught since we could talk that we were never to even touch a Night lock berry, once it's juice touched your tongue, you would be dead within minutes. Unless you had a stash of green grapes handy, to eat immediately after which would make the night lock berry less acidic and it wouldn't kill you but give you an awful Tummy ache. But green grapes were rare, as hardly anyone in the Capitol liked them and they were expensive to grow. Plus any fruits that were medicinal weren't allowed to be eaten by anyone, and if found must be handed to the peacekeepers and can only be bought by official healers.

"And you," She said, turning to Dre " Will be a green grape,"

What? He was going to be the antidote to .. Me? Was that a grin I saw on her face? How did she know all this? Because I knew this was some sort of plan of hers, not a happy coincidence? So how does she know Group 8's secrets? I would have never thought someone from the Capitol would be bothered to learn such a fruitless fact.

"Let's begin then," Daisy said happily, once she realised neither me nor Danny were going to reply to her.

She started with me first, I avoided looking at the mirror, for if I did I'm sure what I saw wouldn't please her and I'd probably attack her. I had to keep my cool and be impassive and silent, I didn't want anyone in the Capitol to know me, or be able to recognise my voice easily. These were things I was going to hide away, keep to myself until I got home and was surrounded by people I know and love. I noticed that Daisy only used dark purples for my make up, I didn't feel this would look to effective with my already dark skin. When she applied my lipstick which was also dark purple, I could help but let out a small girly giggle. I had never been allowed in make up and had always longed to apply lipstick, but not in this dark colour in bright red. The way my mum used to wear hers. Daisy then moved on to my hair, I blushed a little. My hair wasn't very long, it only just reached under my chin, but it wasn't sleek and stylish, it was very bushy and wild, and it stuck up in a frizzy Afro and there just so much of it. My mum had hardly been able to style it when I was younger, once we moved to group 8 however, there was no need to style my hair much anymore and usually just put a black sock around it and let it frizz naturally. I heard Daisy mutter how it was just the right colour. Black, I thought this was peculiar as her own hair was a light pink. She twisted my hair in awkward turns around my head, then put to purple bobbles in it. It reminded me of how I used to plait Tammy's hair before she decided to cut it into a short spikes on her head. Tammy was very alternative.

Daisy then moved onto first applied light green eyeshadow to him and put hints of green blusher on his face, in the light it sparkled slightly. I hoped my blusher sparkled, because it truly looked amazing. Was I complimenting this woman's work? Of course not, It was Dre's attractive feature that made her work look good. I chuckled inwardly when I saw Dre in green, glittering lipstick. I'd never seen men wear make up except the Capitol men, and they didn't register as men to me, but just brightly coloured puppets. Then she tried to tackle Dre's hair, it was fluffy but short, so there wasn't much she could do about it. So Daisy just put green highlights in it. When she'd done, she looked as us satisfied.

"Now for the clothes," She said more to herself than us.

"You" She pointed to me, "Go in that room, open the gold bag and out on the outfit,"

I got up robotically and walked towards the room the had directed to me. I opened the door and shut it tightly behind me. A few tears escaped my eyes, I don't know why I was crying, I suppose I just missed home, and the fact that I'd probably die in two weeks was finally hitting me. Slowly, I opened the gold bag and was astonished to see the most beautiful piece of clothing ever. Except for my mums wedding dress. But the was nothing white and pure about this outfit, it was a dress that puffed out at the waist. A dark luxurious purple, and had glittering dots all over it, and it just screamed _Death_ to me. It was the perfect dress to represent the night Lock berry. It also came with a head piece, it resembled a circular crown, that gave my head a rounded look, as if I was a berry. But it didn't cover the intricate braids that Daisy had placed all over my head, the whole outfit together looked perfect to me. Perfect for the cold, mean and heartless person I was play acting as while in the Capitol. Maybe this woman was nice after all, growing up in the Capitol May have made her quite prejudice, but underneath it all she might be quite- _decent_.

I walked out the room, and into the room where Daisy had given me this magnificent make over, to see one of the most amazing things ever. Danny looked like.. Like- like springtime. Bright green, sparkling gently in the light, with subtle hints of green in he's hair. We were complete opposites I thought, yet we were a team.

"You look amazing Lee Ann," Dre breathed.

"Thanks," I muttered, blushing slightly. "You look so young and innocent and-" I couldn't even find the words, "Beautiful," I said finally.

"Thanks, but this is really all down to Daisy," He turned to her, "You're very talented," He smiled his beautiful smile.

"I know," She replied icily, "But thanks anyways,"

"Gracias. Me gusta," I said, grinning at her.

"Your welcome," She grinned back at me.

"I was wrong, you two are quite attractive in your way. When you're on the Chariot, look straight ahead, don't smile at anyone Lee Ann, your dark and deadly. But you," She looked at Dre "Smile, blow the audience kisses, and wave. Your complete opposites, but you balance each other." Daisy said her big plan unravelling.

"Right," Said Dre nodding.

"And I'm betting on you two to win,"

"Two?" I asked confused,

"Just remember who's the true enemy in there, don't loose yourselves," Daisy replied stonily, ignoring my question.

Dre grabbed my hand at this point, obviously the seriousness of the situation we were in dawning on him. I squeezed his hand back, trying to comfort him. We sat in silence together, waiting for Kirk or Sparkle to come and collect us.

A/N: Sorry if this chapter wasn't very well written, but I accidentally deleted the original copy twice so I couldn't be bothered re writing this and got my sister to write this for me instead. Please read and review though xx


	7. Lee Ann's gone-Tammy's point of view

**This is from Tammy(Lee Ann's sister) point of view, if you feel this is confusing let me know**.

I can't believe it. I can't believe my sisters name was taken out of that golden bowl. That among the thousands that just be in there, my sisters was taken. Why not me? Lee ann was sweet and funny and caring and nice. Lee Ann wouldn't be able to kill anyone, and if she couldn't kill anyone, how will she win? I know Lee Ann, she must've trying to pretend as if she could ever kill anyone in that arena, she must be trying to act as if she was a heartless cow, but she Won't and she isn't. Yes my sisters strong and can survive the worst, but to take innocent lives so that she could live. My sister would never do that. Therefore my sister would probably die in that arena. Why couldn't it have been me? I don't care about any of the brats in the other Groups. I don't care about those lives, well sure I care,but not like Lee Ann does. I'd go there prepared to kill and fight, if it meant I could come back to Lee Ann and Savannah. Sometimes Lee Ann commented on how alternative and bitch like and boy like I behaved, but aI didn't see the problem. I cut of my hair because I saw no reason to have it long and it got in the way of my eyes when I was out shooting , I don't talk about my feelings, because if you can't tell from my actions how I feel about you, I won't waste my breath trying to convince you, and I'd happily watch those brats die if it meant I could come home because that's the only way I'll survive. Sure it sounded insensitive and selfish, but thanks to the Capitol that's the world we live in now. And livings all about survival. My way of seeing things conflicted a lot with my religion, for I knew God would never approve of murder, but I pray every night in hope that he'll understand I do everything I do because I want what's best for Savannah and Lee Ann.

When I watched Lee Ann up on that pedestal, I almost broke down crying. Everyone thought I was mean and emotionless but I wasn't. I would've cried there and then if it was not for Savannah clutching my hand next to me. If it was not for the fact that Dad was already sobbing. Lee Ann was our rock, she was the only one who could occasionally get though to mum, and she would cook for us, and clean our clothes and make sure we were always fed. Of course dad was there but he worked 10 hours a week and preferred to spend his free time trying to get the old mum back. The mum I don't even remember because we had been forced into this group when I was only 3. Dad was also pretty emotional himself, so it was bets not to give him any job to challenging or else he might not be able to handle it. Mentally. With Lee Ann gone, I'm sure I'd have to do this. I'd have to clean and cook and make sure Savannah was fed, and was happy as Lee Ann had done for us since she was 6.

I was walking with Savannah towards the Growing Fields now. She skipped along happily in front of me, picking flowers as we went. Obviously searching for one that would impress me. I'd long since given up collecting flowers, but sometimes when Lee Ann came home with a particularly pretty one, or when I was feeling quite happy for a change I'd visit my mini garden and dig up my old flowers from before the groupings and think about happy times. That's where I was headed now, deep in the growing fields there was a special concealed place where I usually took Savannah while I practiced my archery. It was a good 1 hour walk there but it was always worth it, and in it grew the tastiest green grapes ever, I'm sure the peacekeepers don't know about this. For green grapes were very rare, and if seen were handed straight over to them. I had harvested some and brought them home, in any case that my family would need them. I hid them well. We've just arrived at the serene little meadow. Savannah went to play in an old log, that she was familiar with, whistling happily to herself. Suddenly, I heard rustling to my left. In an instant I got my bow and arrow ready and aimed it in the general direction of the noise. A tall dark skinned boy stepped out from the shadows. I lowered my bow.

"Oh, Quen, it's just you," I said breezily.

"What a nice welcome!" He said sarcastically.

"Any time," I replied.

He walked over and came to sit next to me, and looked up at my hair.

"I still don't understand why you cut it,"

"I didn't see the point of it,"

"It's hair!" He exclaimed "My sisters would pay good money to make theirs longer,"

"Your sisters are silly and immature," I replied indignantly

"Hey! Just because they said your 'weird' and 'introverted'" He smiled.

"I'm not introverted, I just chose not to have friends,"

"So what am I?" Quen asked pretending to be hurt.

"You know your like family,"

"That means a lot,"

"Yeah,"

"So, how are you coping?" he asked softly.

"With what?" I said trying to act as if I didn't know what he was on about.

"Just tell me Tamara," he asked softly, using my full first name.

"She's gone," I blurted "And she probably won't come back, how am I supposed to cope? If mum finds out it will kill her!"

"So your not going to tell your mum?"

"Well I can't hide it from her, she'll probably see it somewhere, sometime, but when she finds out she'll go right back to how she was, just as she began to recover," I moaned, leaning on Quen's chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around me.

"Maybe this will help her. Maybe seeing Lee Ann will give her a wake up call, show her that the Hunger games are very much real," He suggested softly.

"Maybe," I repeated.

" When they called her name, I though you'd volunteer for her,"

"I was going to, but my dad gave me this look that told me I was to stay put," I complained. I would have loved to go instead of Lee Ann, my family needed her, if she goes we'll all go. Whereas if it's me, maybe Savannah won't remember who I was and they might start anew. Plus I don't have the weaknesses Lee has, I'm prepared to kill and fight.

"Do you think she'll win?" Quen asked me carefully.

"She said she would. And bring me back a purple flower. But I know Lee Ann. I know she won't be able to kill any of those children,"

"But she said she'd come back, she wouldn't lie to you. Plus you said she's a good knife thrower. That might save her, if she's good enough," Quen said lightly.

Oh she is better than good, I thought to myself. The amount of times I'd seen her train with dad, was enough to know I'd never want to fight my sister if she was within reach of a knife or sharp stick. Even if I had my bow and arrow. Coming from me, that's saying something. I'd seen her throw knifes up to 10 metres away and still hit sharply and accurately. I'd seen her fend dad off with only a sharp stick while he held a tall sword and still come out the winner. I've always been jealous, I could never master knife throwing, it didn't feel balanced to me. I was quite good at archery. Oh who was I fooling? I'm amazing at archery, Lee had once said it's in my blood, since mum and dad were so good at it. I was almost as good with a bow and arrow as Lee Ann was with a knife or sharp stick, still knife throwing was as easy as breathing for Lee Ann.

"Shoot something," Quen asked me suddenly.

"Why? I thought _'all life was a credit to earth and must not be ended viciously_'?"I teased, quoting him.

"I just want to see you shoot," he insisted.

I shrugged my shoulder, picked up my bow and arrow and aimed at a lone grape hanging of a thin branch. I let go of the arrow and it soared right through air, piercing the grape in its centre. Savannah clapped absentmindedly, as I'd trained her to do every time she heard or saw me shoot. It was good to hear her clap for me, even if I knew she didn't mean it.

"I just can't believe you're that good," Quen breathed,

"Well believe it my friend, because that's just what I am" I said proudly.

"Toya, how long has it been since we'd met?" Quen asked me quietly, playing with my short hair.

"Um 2 years I think,"

I acted as if I didn't know for sure, I could remember the exact day I'd met Quen. Lee Ann had just told me I wasn't to wander around the growing Fields while dad worked anymore, as the peacekeepers were becoming quite strict with the 'no eating from the land' rule. I hated being cooped up in the house, with only Savannahs cries and Lee Ann's silence as company. I loved my sisters, but they were just to boring. Well Savannah wasn't, but Lee was, I think it's because she was forced to mature so quickly, she gave up on having any sort of fun. Many times I'd tried to tempt her with a game of tag or hide and seek but to no avail. She preferred to stay at home and look after mum. So I'd snuck out and went to the growing Fields, I couldn't find dad. Normally when children can't see their own parents, they stayed with a friends parent while they worked. We all trusted each other like that, if there was one thing good about its group it was the trust and love we all shared between each other. Since I had no friends I had to find my dad or else I'd have to go home. I wandered far and wide till I came across this meadow. I stared in wonder at the grapes, for they weren't purple or black like I'd come to expect but green. I ran to the tree and climbed it with agility, to eat one of these strange grapes. As I went to pick one, a voice had called out;

"Isn't that illegal?"

Since then, me and Quen have always met up here and talked. It was nice to have a friend, someone I could share anything with. And I did just that, I spoke to Quen about how it felt to grow up and how it was at home and how I'd adjusted to life in Group 8. One day I'd even admitted to him what things were like at home with my mum. Even Savannah got on with him. Strangely I'd never brought Lee Ann out here. But I suspected she knew this was where I came, because one day I was sure I'd seen her follow me here.

"We're friends right?" Quen asked me

"Of course, like brother and sister," I replied automatically.

"Good. Because I think I love you," He said, smiling shyly.

Love? What?

"Like a sister?" I asked confused.

"More than that"He insisted.

Oh. "Like a mum then?" I said jokingly.

"Don't joke, Tammy, I'm being serious,"

"Well In don't know how else to react! What do you expect me to do? Jump for joy and declare my undying devotion to you?" I exclaimed angrily.

"I expect you to take it seriously. You're always acting so boisterously and wild. It's like your not a girl sometimes," Quen complained at me.

"I don't want to be dull and boring," I spat coldly.

"I know. I know why you don't want to be dull and boring too," Quen said softly.

"What? Your chatting utter rubbish Quen!" I said

"You don't want to be boring, because that's why your mum became ill, and you think if your fun like she used to be, she'll change and love you best," he explained carefully.

I knew this was true. I could be more refined and lady like if I tried but look what it did to mum! and I liked being wild and fun more, it gave me something to do other than worry and cry.

"Your lying, I don't know what your trying to achieve Quen, but all you're doing is annoying me," I said angrily.

"I love you. Like your mum loves your dad," Quen said seriously.

"I'm ten." I replied stonily, hoping that the reminder that I was only a decade old might shut Quen up about love.

"Im 14. If we are done stating our ages," He said jokingly.

I don't know what happened. But something inside me just stirred and boiled out of control. I don't want anyone to love me like that. I don't want to love anyone like that. Plus, despite seeming older I'm only 10.

"You're a nasty pervert. I don't know why you always follow me here. How can you say that? You don't even know me, and how can you expect me to enjoy this when my sisters being sent of to her death?!" I screeched

"I don't expect you to enjoy it, I just want you to know I'll be here," He said defensively

"Then why tell me? I'm not ever going to be able to love you if my sister doesn't come back, I won't be capable of love if she dies, so I suggest you leave me alone," I said nastily.

"Tammy, wait-" He protested.

I aimed my arrow precisely at his shoulder, where I knew his mother had sewn padding into so it wouldn't hurt, only stop him from perusing me. I released the bow, and he fell. I think I could see blood, but it must be a trick of the mind I Thought. His mother had sewn enough padding in there to rebuff an attack. I was sure of it. So being the cold heartless soul I am, I grabbed Savannahs hand and walled home, leaving Quen there.

I don't know why I behaved like that. I'm sure I knew even fro the age of 9 that Quen had romantic feelings for me. I don't know what I felt for him, I was too young to even begin to understand the complication that Love holds. I guess it was all too much for my mind and as my way of dealing with the problem, I lashed out in anger. I feel sorry already, I fought the urge to run back to him and apologise and beg for forgiveness. But me and Sav were already near home, and Im sure she was hungry and Lee Ann wasn't here anymore to have a cooked meal waiting for us. I'd have to muster something up. Because Lee Ann wasn't here anymore. Lee Ann was good as dead. Thanks to Nicholas Swan.

**A/N**

**I know it says in previous chapters that Lee Ann had been an excellent sword thrower, that's a mistake she is an excellent ****_knife_**** thrower. **

**Also I hoped this didn't confuse or disappoint anyone, I thought it might be nice to see how the rest of the family are coping without Lee Ann and feel it would be nice to meet her darker meaner sister, who resembles Katniss more and Is based more on katniss' life.**


	8. Chapter 8

Dre and I were stood on our chariots, dark capes wrapped around our illuminating costumes. They were just putting on our national anthem, which meant we'd soon make the terrifying ride around the big square in the middle of this... I don't know what to call it, but it's huge. It looks bigger than even the Growing Fields back home. Then we'd be rushed to our floor in the Training centre, talk with our tutors and stylists and go back down for our interviews.

The anthem came on. Dre looked at me for reassurance, I clutched his hand in response, and then horse began to gallop along dragging us into the spotlight.

At first no one looked at us, then we tugged the dark long draping cloaks off, and instead of revealing a knife and fork as always, we revealed two very cute berries. Everyone in the audience was silent, then they burst into applause and cheering. Pointing at us, waving, blowing us kisses. I almost waved back. Almost. Till I remembered I was supposed to be silent and deadly. Anyways I shouldn't want to wave at these people anyway, they were cruel horrible people who I hated. I shouldn't want to wave, I reminded myself firmly. Dre was however, waving and smiling and even returning the kisses. I heard girls screams above the noise at that gesture. Pathetic, aI said to myself in my head. Then we appeared on the big screen, and I realised what the crowd were cheering about. We looked amazing. More than amazing. We glowed in the light, as if we were made of glitter. I looked shiny like I was full of liquid, like the night lock berry. I had to literally fight the smile that threatened to appear on my face.

"Wow," Dre breathed in my ear "This is weird,"

"I know," I whispered back, trying not to move my mouth much.

"You look so serious,"

"I'm meant to be remember? I'm poisonous." I explained.

"I know, but you do it so well, it's as if thats what you really are,"

"I am," I lied "I'm deadly and I hate these people," I whispered back angrily.

"Sure you do," Dre answered, before turning back to his adoring fans.

All the other volunteers looked just as I expected, trees in 6 since the produce paper,lumber firewood and wooden furniture, scary soliders holding frightening guns in 1 which is understandable as they produce nuclear weapons, swimsuits for 2 because they catch fish and drinking water. I don't understand why they collect water, every group has their own supply of water. Oh well. Thats when I saw him. I saw Cameron. In person. For the first time in 7 years I saw my best friend. He was dressed in suspenders like most volunteers from 3 were always dressed, since their main duty was to develop advanced technology their stylists always tried to portray the nerdy look. To me Cameron looked fantastic, his skin was a little bit pale, as they didn't get as much sun in 3 as I did in 8, and he was a little on the skinny side, which was also surprising as I'm sure food came easier to him than it did to me. Although I mostly ate from plants I saw in trees on the way home, which must be healthier than the food that they Ate in the richer groups. Still, Cameron looked handsome to me, I wonder if he remembers me.

"How was that guys?"Sparkle asked eagerly, as I walked onto our floor, the 8th floor ironically.

"Great, I'm not used to all that noise though," Dre said earnestly rubbing his ear.

I chuckled to myself. Stop Lee Ann, you don't like these people.

"Well get used to it my friend, there's more where that came from," Kirk said laughing.

I liked his laugh, it reminds me of my mums.

"What about you Lee Ann?" Sparkle turned to face me.

"Horrible," I said shortly.

Sparkle's face looked a little downcast, Kirk looked at me strangely. Maybe he saw through my lie,for that was not horrible. Sure it was all show that led ultimately to my death, but that experience was far from horrible, it was alien and new, but still exciting.

"It's just because she didn't get to smile," Dre said quickly.

"Why not?" Asked sparkle, sporting her false wide bright smile.

"Because. I told her not too, she's meant to be poisonous, duh" Daisy said sarcastically from the chair where she was sat.

"Poisonous?" Sparkle asked

Kirk, Dre,Daisy and I turned to look at her as if she was crazy.

"How can you not know what she is?" Kirk asked incredulously.

Somehow this rubbed me the wrong way.

"How would you know either? All you do is lounge all day in your big house in the Champions Court, you don't have to work in the Growing Fields," I said accusingly.

"I still know a night lock berry when I see one," Kirk replied nastily.

"Guys don't start in each other, we have the interview to prepare for," Sparkle interjected

"So let me talk you guys through what you have to do for it; answer the interviewers questions," Kirk said staring right at me.

"Seems cool," Dre offered.

"It's not just about that," Sparkle chided, "Stop playing Kirk, and tell them what they have to do!" Sparkle shouted before turning to leave the room, red in the face.

Great, I thought to myself. I went to sit on the ground by Daisy, other than Dre she was the only person in the room I sort off trusted. Only person who seemed real and not in some sort of fantasy land where I wasn't being sent of to die.

"Basically you have to have some sort of personality, when they interview, so that the audience-more importantly the sponsors- will remember you," Kirk explained "Mine, as I'm sure you remember was cheeky and sarcastic,"

I do remember. Obviously I didn't understand sarcasm back then when his games first appeared when I was 6, but when reruns of his games showed on the telly in The Public Green, I remember how he'd answer each of the interviewers questions sarcastically, winking at the audience. My favourite one was when they interviewer asked "So are you excited about being one of the first in the games?" And Kirk replied "Yes, I'm very excited about being one of the first to get slaughtered in TV for your entertainment" at this the interviewer chuckled nervously and moved on.

"I don't remember, but I do remember last year when my brother seemed to be a lot quieter than I remember him," Dre said quietly.

His brother. Ryan, was it? Had he been sat in this exact room only last year, having this exact conversation?

"Oh Dre, your brother should've won last year, I thought he was going to win. I told him to be arrogant about it, then the audience would sponsor him. He told me "Be arrogant about killing those poor children? Are you actually mad?" Those were his exact words. I don't know what to tell you to be," Kirk said, he actually seemed to be sad.

"How about angry? At his brothers death? Tell the audience you'll avenge him," Daisy offered.

"No. I'm going to be humble and quiet like my brother was last year," Dre announced firmly.

"So what about you, girlie?" Kirk swivelled around to me

"Dunno,". I mumbled shrugging my shoulders.

"Girl, you won't be able to pull of the whole quiet, brooding thing you're trying to do. Your simply to beautiful and innocent for that. Well you look it, anyways,"

"Well I'm definitely not being arrogant," I protested hotly.

"Be yourself then," Kirk said

"And what's that?"Daisy chipped.

"She's nice, loving and kind. She loves her sisters so much, and she's funny too. But I suppose this might've got rid of her sense of humour. Oh and she likes to read," Danny said immediately.

I looked at him in a mixture of shock, surprise, anger and emmbarrassment.

"And you would know this how?" Kirk and Daisy asked together,

"I watch her when she eats lunch sometimes, at school, her and sister are always laughing. And I notice how she'll pat her sisters hair into place unconsciously or kiss her head or just the look on her face tells me, and she always has a book, not a textbook but old fairy tale nooks, I think the one she last read was _Harry Potter_. And I remember when a simple minded girl back home accidentally picked a whole lot of crops that weren't meant to be eaten raw. When the peacekeepers found out, they would've killed her but since she was a bit slow they said she had to grow them back herself even though she was very sick from the crops, and Lee Ann helped her grow them each day for 5 months and nursed her back to health," Dre said as if it was normal for him to know this much about me.

"They'd have killed her?" Daisy asked disbelieving.

"Of course. We're not supposed to eat anything we grow, they let the young children off, but when you pick too much so that the numbers go down, or eat one of the main crops that the Capitol order they'll kill you," I said, happy for her to discover we don't lounge about eating berries all day.

"That's impossible. Surely you can eat what you've grown?" Daisy countered obviously finding it hard to believe.

"Don't believe her? Ask my mum, wait you can't because she's dead for the exact same reason," Dre quipped coldly.

Daisy stayed silent, staring at Dre and I as if suddenly realising that we had gone through a lot in Group 8 at a young age.

"You helped that foolish girl? Even though they could've have punished you, for you weren't frail as she was?" Kirk stared at me his eyes wide.

I nodded once. Of course I helped her, nobody else would, even her own parents who were afraid that rest of the family would be punished for the girls stupidity. I went out in the Growing Fields each day, replanting the crops, growing them and also nursing the girl back to health with some spare grapes. It too a while for her to fully recover but I think she's ok now, she smiles whenever we see eachother in the halls at school. That girl was the closest thing I ever had to a friend in Group 8, other than my sisters. Laura her name was, Laura Bakefield I think.

"That was stupid of you," Kirk said .

"No one else was going to help her," I replied defensively.

"I didn't know you were so nice. Why have you been so icy these past days?"Kirk asked again.

Should I reveal my master plan to these people? Tell them I was nice and caring at heart, that this cold, mean persona was merely something I'd watched my sister, Tammy pull off for years. Yes, I decided, my dad would not have wanted me to lie. Or try hard at being someone aI wasn't which might distract me from the real reason I was here. And if I did suddenly become nice and sweet like I really was then people would assume I was easy kill. Once I got hold of a knife, they'd soon see.

"I tried to be my sister. So people would be afraid of me,"

"So that's what your sister like?" Kirk asked, mildly surprised. Why was this man so interested in my family?

"Yep. I'm scared of her sister, when she cut her hair, she reminded me of one of those Vampires you see in the history nooks at school," Dre answered for me.

"Be sweet. Humble, as if you can't believe your here, be thankful for the Capitol to allow you to come here, don't lay it on to thick, and dont say too much," Daisy chirped in suddenly

"Yep, what Daisy says," Kirk said.

"You'll stay in what your wearing, so off you got to the 10th floor and sit in your allocated seats and wait your turn," Kirk dismissed us.

I walked slowly out of the door, holding it open for Dre. I don't know whether I should feel awkward, knowing that he has basically been watchng me and my sisters without my knowing for the past.. who knows how many years, or or angry. But to be honest all I was, was slightly flattered and a bit guilty for not realising that he existed until the games.

"Sorry," he muttered to me while we were in the elevator.

"For what?" I asked

"Saying what you were really like, but I thought all it would do is distract you from what's really important here,"

"It's ok, there's no point pretending any more," I replied serenly.

Dre held his hand out to me, I grabbed on to it for comfort. I don't know how I had become so trusting of this boy in only about 3 days, but here I was using his hand for comfort in this land of sorrow and sadness. Too bad we were probably going to die. my thoughts drifted to Cameron as we stood here waiting for the lift to reach the floor, I hope he would win if I had to lose, or if I couldn't save Dre. I wonder what his '_personality_' will be?


	9. The interview

"Sit here please," A Capitol organiser instructed me.

The seat she had pointed to was at least 5 away from Dre's.

"Why? I want to sit with my group partner," I protested.

"Sit here _now _please, young lady," She repeated firmer.

"But I-"

"Just sit down," She interrupted me, pushing me into my allocated seat.

Dre gave me an apologetic look from where he was sat, I smiled weakly at him. What were they doing splitting me up from my Group partner? Wait! Maybe I'd get to sit next to Cole! Every bone in my body tingled with excitement and nervousness at the thought that Cole might get to sit next to me. I waited impatiently as one by one each of the volunteers from the groups came in, I saw that little girl Melanie Fosters, she was in the cutest little button up dress, it looked silky. Then I remembered her Groups duty was to produce clothes and fabrics. She was instructed to sit next to Dre. Group 7 were dressed in metallic costumes and they spoke quickly to each other, they were sat only 2 seats away from me. Soon nearly all the 16 seats were taken up only 4 were left, 2 were on either side of me, and the other two were down near Dre. Group 2 finally entered in their seductive swim suits, the polish boy looked very skinny and unattractive in his, but the Spanish girl, was tanned and curved in all the right places, I can tell what her _personality_ will be, I thought wryly.

Then it happened. Cameron and his tall burly group partner entered, they were still in theur suspenders. The only two seats left were on either side of me, joy filled every limb in my body, Cameron would only be a few centimetres away from me! I almost squealed with happiness! They took their seats next to me. Will he remember me? I asked myself, even if he does will he even acknowledge that he does? Maybe he'll want to hide it?

I looked into his eyes when he settled into his seat, I was glad to find that they were still the exact same shade of green I'd always remembered. His pupils, I noticed, were very big, almost taking up his whole eye space, but you still see the hints of emerald green along the edges. I thought he was going to talk to me, when he met my stare for a second, but he quickly looked past me and spoke across me to his group partner.

"What do you think of the competition?" He asked her, his voice deeper than I remember.

"They all look like squirts, except 1 and 6" Her voice replied, I wasn't very surprised to hear that it was deeper than his.

"I think 7 are pretty big," Cameron offered.

"They can be easily dealt with, obviously the lack of food in _their_ groups has made them weaker, look at his limp! And look at the black kids arms, they're practically sticks!" She said, laughing.

It took me a while to realise that she was talking about Dre, his arms weren't sticks! They were strong and offered me comfort, it hurt me more that although Cameron didn't necessarily agree with her, he laughed lightly too. This made me angry, how dare she say that when I was sat right here.

"What?" I hissed at her. Thankful that I could at least be like Toya when it counted.

Cameron stared at me, his eyes had hidden warnings in them, I dismissed him.

"Are you talking to me?" She growled.

"Who else?" I said sarcastically, looking around as if to prove my point.

"Cheeky little thing aren't you? Well you heard me. I said that obviously your groups lack of food has made you weaker," She smiled maliciously at me.

"We don't have any lack of food in my group, just because we're on a _healthy_"I emphasised the word, staring at her bulk "diet, doesn't mean we lack anything" I snapped back at her.

"You didn't just say that," She asked bewildered.

"I didn't stutter did I? " I replied sarcasm in my voice once again.

"I'm going to kill you. Painfully, you watch 8," She threatened, her eyes gleaming.

"You have fun with that. Just in case you can't find me my names Lee Ann,"

Cameron sat up straighter and leaned in towards me when I said my name.

"How would you spell that?" He asked me.

I stared at him, about to answer when his partner interrupted.

"You watch, I bet a little brat like you can't do more than pick grapes of trees, fat lot of help that'll be in the arena. You better hope I don't run into you," She snarled

I lowered my eyes, trying to act as if she had won the battle and that she was right I couldn't do anymore than pick grapes of trees. So that she would come looking for me, if I had a knife with me. Well she'll see, too bad she'd die straight after so I couldn't gloat about it to her.

"Thought so," She whispered gleefully.

"Right first up, Gilda Hulk," The Capitol organiser announced. Hulk, that was ironic I thought as the bulky girl who I'd just spoken to stood up.

"Just this way please," Said the organiser, leading her thought to the cameras and the audience.

"I thought it would go in order," Cameron whispered, was he speaking to me?

I nodded gently.

"I didn't agree with what she said," Cameron spoke again, this time looking right at me

"That fine," I answered, trying to smile. It didn't work, obviously being toya had not left me yet.

"It's not. She's really mean and cruel, she wasn't joking, she will probably try to kill you out there," he said seriously.

"Good to know," I laughed, thinking about the knifes I'd always seen in the arena.

"Is your last name Clayton?" He asked me suddenly.

I forgot how to speak for a moment, I simply stared into his eyes! trying to open my mouth and scream yes. That My last name was In fact Clayton, had he really remembered me after all these years? I don't know how long I sat there staring into his eyes trying to answer, t must have been a while, for the Capitol organiser came back and this time asked for Cameron.

"Wish me good luck," He said to me as he walked away.

"Yes," I finally whispered "My names Lee Ann Clayton,"

He smiled before walking through to the bright lights and screaming audience. I thought they'd come back to the back when they'd finished, but apparently you go back to your appointed floor in the training centre. For when The organiser called my name, it was only Dre, Melanie Fosters, her group partner and me left in the row of seats. I walked up to her gingerly, unable to stop my self from asking;

"Where's all the other volunteers?"

"On their floors? Not that it's your business, off you go, quickly, " She said sharply, pushing my back so that I faced the dazzling lights and screams.

I slowly opened the long red curtains and was surprised with what I saw.

There must be thousands of people, I thought the Capitol population was only about 900, there must be at least 6,000 people here. Everything was decorated in the Capitol colours, red and gold. To represent power and riches, I remember from one of my classes at school. The interviewer was none other than the infamous Claudius Temple-smith, this year he was sporting a gleaming red wig, wearing an unfashionable gold suit. He looked awful, as always, I could almost imagine Tammy's laughter as she watched this. Then I remember that I don't want Tammy to be watching this. I walk mechanically to the plush red chair opposite Claudius and sit down.

"Why look who's here, guys?" He shouted, facing the audience, "It's little miss Berry! In her fabulous sparkling outfit!"

The crowd went wild, screaming and yelling on top each other. I smiled at them broadly, deciding on the spot, I was going to sack the whole humble act and be confident. I was going to show my Group that I was proud to be one of them.

"Cute smile you got there poppet! Now tell me what's your name?" He asked, the crowds screams subsidised.

"Lee Ann, Clayton," I said clearly. "But you can call me Ann if you want, that's what I let my friends call me," I said smiling, hoping to capture these people's hearts. And that my lie wasn't too transparent.

The crowd erupted in Aww's all around and a few people called out "Hi Anna!".

"What a cute name! Are you excited about these games Ann?" He asked nervously, obviously thinking I may be like my tutor, Kirk.

"Im excited about the new food," I said not adding it was the same food I'd seen my father and neighbours sweat over Day and day again.

"Try the lamb stew! It's amazing, isn't it folks?" Claudius yelled to the crowd.

"You seem pretty little how old are you?"

"I'm 13" I said unsure, wondering whether this might hurt my chances with the sweet and innocent act. Well not technically sweet and innocent, but whatever sort of act I was trying to pull off.

The crowd didn't react at all to this.

"Wow, you seem very childlike for your age" Really? Is this guy joking?

"I'm used to playing with my younger sisters," I said hastily " And my 10-year-old sister is quite mature for her age, and very bossy, I'm normally treated as the youngest," I grinned, hoping Tammy wouldn't take this the wrong way.

The crowd fell into peals of laughter, yes, I had gotten them back.

"Well, I can't wait to interview her, that's if you survive till the final 5! So you better hold out in there we all want to meet this sister of yours, don't we guys?"

Everyone in the audience cheered at this, some even chanted my name. Great, I thought to myself, I had their hearts. All I had to do was act myself. Well, I had put it on _a bit_, but this was me.

"Do you have any special skills, Anna?" Claudius, looking right into my eyes.

"Not really, we're not allowed to do that sort of thing back home, I tried to learn how to run really fast, but I have asthma so it's pretty hard for me to do anything," I sad feigning sadness, trying to avoid everyone's eyes. I hoped my lie wasn't too transparent.

"So, before we let you leave. What do you think of your group partner, Dre balks?"

I could feel the tension in the air.

"He's an amazing person, very brave too," I said simply, but earnestly.

"Yes he is. What's he like of camera?" Claudius said winking. Obviously since they'd found out my age, these were the questions they'd pester me with now.

"Just as I said, amazing, brave and funny. He's always keeping the peace too, not letting us all bite each others heads off," I said smiling.

The audience laughed with me.

"Well we'll see if we can get more out from Dre, because he's up next,"

The crowd cheered, girls screaming wildly.

I quickly walked off the stage and to the back, I wanted to run and go find Danny, but the stern Capitol organiser pointed towards the elevator gesturing for me to go up.

I was met with a furious Kirk at the entrance of our floor. He grabbed my arms hastily and dragged me into our floor.

"What was that?" He bellowed as soon as I walked in.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Being all confident and bold out there? I thought we agreed on humbleness and great fullness?" Kirk yelled.

"I wanted to be myself. I wanted to show our group some pride," I whispered, slightly dejected.

"Well, how noble of you! I thought you were shy? And humble?"

I am, I thought. I am humble and shy and all those things they wanted me to be in the interview, but that was just what was left of me after I moved to group 8, we'll really after my mum became ill. Before that I was all those things, but funny, and cheeky, and fun. I'd just felt that now was the time to resurrect my old personality traits, as I might never get the chance to again. I can't be Tammy,I can't be brooding and angry. I can't be Dre, humble and Meek. I just had to be me.

"Sorry Kirk," I replied.

"It's okay, come on and let's see if the boy listened to me," Said Kirk, smiling ruefully at me.


	10. Tammy point of view

What the hell was Lee Ann playing at? What was she doing? Were they forcing her to act like this? The Capitol? I had just watched her interview, even though I'm sure she'd ask dad to hide it from us, I went into our living room and switched the TV on, and there was Lee Ann in that sparkling night lock berry suit. She was laughing and smiling and she seemed louder and brighter than she had ever been at home, except for those rare moments at school when she tried to make us feel normal by telling a particularly funny joke. How could she? Say something like "I'm excited about the food"? Traitor! It was our family and friends who worked day and night growing that food! And I swear I saw her blush when that Claudius guy asked her about Danny Balks! I remember Danny from school, I always found him staring at me and Lee, I had figured it was because of our mum or my haircut, so I'd completely disregarded him. Did she like him? Did she love him or something? After all they had been alone together for like 3 days. Oh no, if they made friends Lee Ann wouldn't be able to kill him when the time came, yet I'm sure he would still be able. He wasn't like Lee Ann, he wasn't caring like she was, he'd have no trouble piercing her heart when the time came. Lee Ann, I moaned in my head, don't make friends, keep to yourself and stop being all happy! I cant believe Lee Ann had said that I was the mature one, and bossy too! Sure I was mature but Lee Ann had basically raised me since she was 6, what was she trying to do?Just go there, kill people and come back. Oh great it was Dee's interview now. Lets see what this guy has to say.

"Hi there Dre," Claudius said, his eyes twinkling unnaturally.

"Hi," Dre replied softly.

"Quiet thing aren't you?" Claudius asked, obviously desperate for something more dramatic.

"Yes," Dre said, his voice even softer.

"How does it feel Dre,being here only 1 year after your older brother?"Claudius asked gently.

His brother? Oh yes, Ryan Balks, we all thought he was going to win, being super fast and handy with a gun, we thought he was unbeatable. Unfortunately, like Lee Ann, he had an unfortunate caring and loving streak, and wasn't able to kill anyone. He had avoided ending anyone's life for nearly all the Games until that boy from 1 found him, Ryan tried to run but the inevitable fight came, Ryan let the boy from 1 slaughter him. It was a bloody awful thing to watch. Poor Ryan. I hoped he was haunting that boy from 1's dreams.

"It feels sad," Dre answered simply.

I like this guy, I thought to myself, I liked how he just barely answered Claudius' questions, like he really didn't want to be there. Why couldn't Lee Ann had been like that?

"Your almost as quiet as him!" Claudius jeered, some of the crowd laughing.

Dre just nodded.

"Well I hope you try to win and honour his memory," Claudius offered.

Dre didn't even answer this time, only staring into Claudius' eyes.

"So what is like spending time with Lee Ann?" Claudius asked winking.

Dre blushed at the tip of his ears. Ew, I thought. It reminded me of when Quen- no.

"Awesome. We've gotten really close, she's really nice," Dre whispered shyly.

The crowd oohed and awed.

"She seemed pretty cheeky out here, too bad she has no skills that can help her in the Arena?" Yeah right, I scoffed in my head.

"Yes that's really bad," Dre choked out.

Did he believe that? It seemed so, for his eyes looked as if they were watering. Hadn't Lee told them that she was an ace knife thrower? I understood why she'd want to hide it from the other volunteers, but shouldn't she tell her team? So they can tell her what to do with her skill?

"Will you be protecting her in the Arena then?" Claudius prompted, the crowd looked as if they wanted to _grab_ Dre's answer from his mouth.

"Yes. I will be. Too bad I'm nothing special either, but I'll do my best," Danny swore, with so sincerity that I couldn't even laugh at it.

The crowd awed, girls cries filled the room too.

"Why? One of you have to die, won't it just delay the inevitable?" Said Claudius carefully.

"I'll die. For Lee Ann, I'll die," He replied.

What? What was that supposed to mean? For Lee Ann he'd die! It was a good thing mum and dad were out, for this is too much too handle? Had he fallen in love with her? Was he trying to lull her into a false sense of security with him?he seemed so serious, even I, who tried to see the lie in everything, couldn't find one in the words Dre just uttered.

"Why would you do that?" Claudius asked, actually curious.

"Because I love her," Danny said simply, then he just got up and walked out. Without being dismissed. Rebel. I like it. Too bad that simple gesture would probably get him killed for sure in the arena, Nicholas would order the game makers to import some unreal monster to rip him to shreds in there.

Two more people came on for their interview, a young little girl called Melanie I think, she was very sweet and cried on TV too, she missed her family she said. That almost cracked on the shell that guards my tears, then I remembered she was ten like me too, she understood exactly what was happening, this was probably an act of hers so that people would think she was easy kill. Just like what Lee was doing.

"Hi Tamara," An unfamiliar voice greeted me, I jumped up instinctively, quickly switching off the TV.

"Oh. Mum, hey," I breathed. Mum had never greeted me like that, her voice sounded almost normal, I was surprised I remembered her voice, the last time she'd spoken to me, Sav had just been born.

"What would you like to eat?" She asked again stiffly.

"Nothing. Me and Savannah picked up something in the fields," I said breezily, trying to hide the surprise in my voice.

"Savannah and I," she corrected my grammar. Lee Ann was always doing that, "Fruits don't count, what do you think Savannah would like to eat then?" She asked me again nervously.

"Savannah likes Fruit pies, but Lee Ann says she shouldn't eat it too much, it rots her teeth," I flinched internally at the sound of my sisters name.

"Lee Ann.." Mum said her voice trailing, " Where is she? I want to speak to her,"

I gulped nervously, this is the first time mum has ever had a normal conversation with me in years, but things will go wrong if I have to tell her bad news already.

"She's - gone," I said hopefully she'd swallow my weak excuse and move on.

She didn't, her eyes glassed over, as if they were frozen again, this is what happens whenever she goes into one of her phases, I hope she didn't. Only Lee or Dad could stop her when she went into them, and Lee was gone and Dads at work till 7pm.

"She's in Hunger Games isn't she?I saw her name on a poster, it sort of brought me to my senses but if she's gone... She can't be, she's gone?!" Mum cried her voice slightly hysterical.

I nodded once.

"She hates me," Mum sobbed.

"She doesn't," I protested, wondering if I should hug my mother.

"She must! For years I've neglected you all, I should've been there when they chose her! To volunteer, not at home mourning over life before the groupings! My eldest May die and I've never told her I love her in years, even you, I Haven't spoke to you ever I don't think, you must all hate me," Mum cried, falling to the floor.

I ran over and hugged her, running my finger through her hair, it was silky soft, and had hints or reddish brown in it. It was very soft, probably because she was quarter Spanish and not full black.

"I don't hate you, we all love you,plus they would have rejected you, they don't like accepting adults into the Games," I murmured, cringing at my casual use of the word love.

"I love you too. I was sick, before, but I do love you. And Savannah. And Lee Ann," mum breathed unsteadily.

"Lee Ann's coming back," I reassured her.

"How do you know?"

"She promised me she would, that means she's coming back," I replied

"So young, to have such responsibility, I should've been here. We both know Lee Ann's not capable of killing anyone there, well the Lee Ann I remember would never be able to kill," Mum choked out.

"Lee Ann doesn't ever break her promises to me," I said firmly.

"No she doesn't, even from her young age she was always very dedicated and trustworthy. She'll come back, I'll send money for her, to make sure she has what she needs, I think today I'll make Chicken Stew, it was always her favourite,"

"Mum," the word tasted word in my lips "Chickens hard to get, maybe I can send Sav to get some honey and grapes and we can have pie," I offered.

"Send Sav? She's only 4, I'll get it, I can make a stop on my way too, a young lady asked for my help today, with her son, apparently everyone has heard my mother used to be a healer before -well when she was alive," Mum said, trying to compose herself.

Mums obviously really been living in a dreamland, Sav has always been sent to collect fruits and berries, while I went to the meadow with-him and Lee would stay here with mum, and cook and clean. Poor mum, I thought. Poor Lee I thought again, having to go, not being able to see Mum become normal. A thought stringed me though, mum had decided to be come herself again,yet the first person she asks after is Lee Ann, not even Dad. I was surprised that Mum was here being mum, I was surprised at how well she handled the news? Didn't she care Lee Ann might die, then again Lee had always said when I was younger, that mum's way of handling things was to avoid it and try to make it better, without thinking about the worst possible outcome. I thought that was stupid, but maybe that's how mum avoided the pain, how she was able to deal with things. Not that she'd dealt with things particularly well over the years.

"Who's that?" I asked, handing mum her coat.

"A little boy, I think his name is Quen," She replied opening the door to walk out.

Quen? Quen? Quen was- was hurt? No that can't be true. It can't be.


	11. After the interview

We were all silent. Staring at the TV, the words Dre had just said floating around the room. He loved me? No that wasn't possible, he doesn't know me. He was probably just doing what I did, and tried to win the hearts of the Capitol people.

The doors to the room Kirk, Daisy and I were sat in opened, and they produced a rather sheepish looking Dre. I shuffled closer to Daisy.

"Boy," Kirk growled.

"I'm sorry," Dre said, holding up his hands

"What did you do?" Kirk asked incredulous "You can't just leave! The Capitol will not like that, I tell you!"

"I don't know,I didn't want any more questions, and he just kept questioning me, and I forgot to lie," Dre replied.

Forgot to lie? What does that mean? That it was the truth? He loved me?

"Boy, don't tell me your in love with that girl?" Kirk growled

Dre nodded his head slowly, once.

"Well ain't that cute?" Daisy said sarcastically.

"What are you trying to achieve? Only one of you can leave this arena?" Kirk yelled again.

"Nothing. I just want everyone to know I'm in love with her. I'm willing for her to be the one who leaves the Arena. I'm tired, goodnight," Dre answered his voice sounded stressed.

Quickly, he walked out the room. I wondered where he had gone, for we hadn't been assigned our rooms yet.

"That boy is just like his brother," Kirk said tightly.

"What are you gonna do K?" Daisy asked casually.

"Let him do what he wants, I can't stop him if he loves her," Kirk replied exasperated.

"I don't understand," I whispered.

"Understand what? He just said he loves you," Daisy told me.

"Yes I know, but how? I've never spoke to him before this, and he's ready to die for me,"

"You don't seem surprised," Kirk noted.

"I'm not. I knew he wanted to die for me. But it's just how.. Does.. He.." I trailed off incoherently.

Kirk and Daisy stared at me. Daisy didn't seem very bothered, but Kirk was wringing his fingers angrily. This was too complicated, love? Love, here? In the Capitol? Love doesn't exist here, all that exists is cruelty and sadness. Now things were that much more complicated, what was I supposed to do? I can't handle this.

Should I rebuff all of this and be Toya again? Should I be angry and cold and unforgiving again? After all, it would've saved me from all these complications, and stop me from getting closer to anyone else. No, I told myself firmly. I'm going to die out there. Painfully, if Gilda Hulk had anything to do about it. Now was not the time to pretend to be anything, now was the time to be me. For this was probably the last chance I'd get. I had to find Dre, so I could tell him that my skill was knife throwing. That I was terrific at it, that I could probably win if I had one with me at all times. Or even a bow and arrow which I wasn't as good at bit good enough. Wait, if I told him that, he'd be very persistent in me winning. No, I wouldn't tell anyone about that, I'd keep it to myself, but anything else, I'd tell him. Dre deserved to know everything about me. Everything, I repeated in my head. Impatiently I got up from my space next to Daisy, rushed out the room and wandered along the halls looking for Dre. This place was pretty big, even though it was only one floor, there had to be at least 10 rooms, that only included the ones I'd passed, and all of them were at least twice the size of the one I shared with Tammy and Sav back home. I wondered how they'd reacted to the interview? Knowing Tammy, she'd have found a way to watch it. Finally, I passed a small broom cupboard, that instead of cleaning supplies, contained a young snivelling boy, I crouched down next to him.

"Oh Dre," I groaned quietly, seeing his red eyes, I wrapped my arms around him.

He sobbed harder, until he started fully crying, tears streaming down his face uncontrollably, he was shaking violently, it was sad to see him like this. Was he finally understanding what was going to happen to us? Was he thinking of his brother? Of his mum? Dad?

"Sorry,"He sobbed.

"Don't be, you deserve to cry," I said, patting his back.

"It's just too much. I mean, when they called my name, I thought, yes, finally, maybe you'll notice me, maybe grandma will see I can be just as strong as Ryan was, but then they called your name too," he began unsteadily, "and then on the train, you were so quiet and it was like you weren't there, and it frightened me. I thought you had gone, the old you from before the Groupings, when you happy and funny, yet shy and thoughtful. Then I scolded myself for being weak, my brother wouldn't want me to mope over some girl, and get myself killed for her. It would kill granny. But then I remembered what my family had always chorused to me 'believe in love,' they always said. That's when I decided. Decided that if one of us had to leave this arena, it should be you, that I love you too much, for you to die," He finished, tears still rolling down his face.

I was lost for words.

"Dre, I don't know. I was 6 when these Groupings came about, how could you know me that well?" I asked uneasily.

"I just do. And after the groupings, I used to watch you so closely. And I used to be Savannah's shadow. You know, look after her when she first started school, she really loves you,"

I blushed lightly.

"Thanks Dre, I feel guilty I never noticed you much," I admitted.

"I know you didn't. I did try and be discreet," He chuckled.

"So do you still want to be allies then? In the arena I mean?" I asked cautiously.

"Yes!"

"Okay then," I said.

"I Do love you, you know, I know we're only young but I want you to know in case I - In case I... Die" Dre said seriously, staring right into my eyes.

"I love you too," I was surprised to find that I meant these words. I had grown to love Dre after only 3 days, he was just one of those people. I don't know what kind of love though, not mum and dads love, more like me and Tamm's love. I felt protective of him, but I didn't feel sparks whenever he touched me, just comfort.

"Why were you so cold when we first got on the train? I always wondered, you're normally a very trusting person,"

"I wanted to be like the Groupies(people from group 1/2) , so that I'd be able to hate the Capitol, and I could kill these people easily. Then I could go home to my sisters, but that's not who I am, I do understand the Capitol treat us unfairly, but Im not built to just hate everyone from it, especially not kill any of them," I admitted sheepishly.

"It didn't suit you. Kirks right, your to pretty to try and be cold and mean," Dre told me.

"Thanks," I muttered.

"Let's go find Kirk, then we can get our rooms, this cupboards cramped," He said, trying to stand up, I laughed.

Slowly and successfully, I stood up, grabbed Dre's arms and heaved until he was stood up too. We walked briskly around the whole floor looking for Kirk, he was nowhere to be seen. I wondered maybe if he had gone down to any of the other floors, to visit any friends, as he had been coming here tutoring different volunteers for 7 years. Surely he'd have made friends with the other tutors? Then I remembered something my sister had wisely told me a year ago, when we watched Ryan Balks try and reason with a volunteer from Group 2;

"You can't make friends with them, Ryan, we're all wired to hate each other thanks to Swan,"

It was true, Nicholas Swan had us all wired to hate each other,with no good reason, it was either because we were superior to another group or inferior to them. Whatever the reason, my sister had been right, we can't make friends with them, we're wired to hate. But what about Cameron? I asked myself fruitlessly.

"He's here, Lee Ann," Dre called to me, interrupting my thoughts.

I jogged lightly to the room Dre was hovering outside off.

"Go in then," I said patiently, nudging him in the back.

The sight that met my eyes, explained to me why Dre couldn't walk into the room, it was frightening it made me freeze in place. Kirk. He was lay down on quite comfortable looking bed, but he was worming about as if someone was chasing him, and his eyes were squeezed in pain, his knuckles looked strained, his skin pulling over them thinly. What was really scary was that he kept saying the same name over and over again,screaming for the person who the name belonged to, to run away;

"Rosa-May! Rosa-May, Come here, let me take them out! Rosa- He's coming! He has an axe! Rosa, I love you, let me help! I'm not going to hurt you, Rosa May he's coming" He yelled suddenly, hysterical,it looked as if he was going to wake up.

I began to walk away briskly,dragging Dre by his hands, wanting to get as far away as possible. I didn't want to hear Kirk scream anymore, especially not that name. Because I knew that name. That was the name of one of the first girl volunteers to compete in the Hunger Games.


	12. The Preparation

I'm scared. I don't want to admit, but I'm very scared. Dre, Sparkle, Daisy and I were all currently on the elevator down to the Ground Floor. Today was the first day of preparation,where we go into a large room, and they'll have different stations for us to learn different skills. This is the first time I'll be in a social situation with all the volunteers. It was very frightening. It didn't help that I've already been on edge since 2 nights ago, when I heard Kirk scream Rosa-May's name. Was he having a nightmare? Of how she was killed? I remember it well-surprise,surprise- it was horrible death. Especially because it was the first Hunger Games, to see an artificially made creature slowly kill a small 14 year old girl was a lot to take in. Deep breaths, Lee Ann, I told myself, deep breaths, or else you'd get one of those headaches again.

"So you guys excited?" Sparkle asked.

"Yes," replied Dre.

"Now, don't let anyone touch you, those outfits took me ages to sew," Daisy warned.

She was right to warn us, although simple, these outfits were amazing. They were stretchy and allowed us to move better than I do without any clothes on at all, and it had padding in all the right places. The fabric used to make this must've been very expensive.

"Why would anyone touch them Daisy?" Sparkle asked, slightly flustered "We're all friends here,"

Sparkle, don't bait Daisy, after 3 days of living with her, I'd learned Daisy was not someone to be messed with. Yesterday morning when Kirk had taken a bite out of her bread without asking she scratched him, leaving a deep gash in his cheek, and when Sparkle accidentally put a cup of wine on one of Daisy's designs, she'd ripped the wig right of her head and smashed the cup. I figured Daisy wasn't from the Capitol. She was to mean, she didn't look foreign so she's not from Group 2, and she's too nice to be from 1, but she can't be from 3. If your from 3 or downwards you have no hope of ever being accepted to live in the Capitol.

"What ever, just listen to Kirk, he knows best," Daisy told us, Sparkle snorted in the corner.

"So I should try archery?" Dre asked again.

"Yes. Or axe throwing," Daisy reminded him.

Dre nodded serenely, taking in the information.

"And you're to have a go at archery too, or knife and axe throwing," Daisy said turning to me.

I nodded too, but I wasn't going to follow their instructions. I'm not going anywhere near an axe, and I can't reveal my talent for knife throwing, and archery is my sisters skill, not mine. I was going to learn how to swim, do snares and use a gun accurately. The elevator stopped at the ground floor.

"See you later guys," Daisy called, already pushing her finger on the number 8 button, to go back up.

"Wait! Daisy, what are you-" Sparkle argued angrily, but the doors slides shut and they both zoomed upwards.

Dre looked at me expectantly, I didn't know what to do or say. So I clutched his hand and walked inside the Preparation room. It seemed we were quite late, all the other volunteers were already here at various stations. All fell silent when Dre and I walked in, suddenly I was very conscience of the fact that I was holding his hand, I hastened to return it to my side.

"Why, hello there, why don't we get you two started?" A tall Capitol man exclaimed.

"Sure," Dre agreed.

"Well folks, what we have here are 20 different stations, where you can learn 20 new skills, at each station theres a qualified trainer, so don't worry you're perfectly safe here! Off you go, choose a station," The Capitol man told us brightly.

I stared at Dre.

"Let's try axe throwing?" He asked hesitantly.

I nodded and followed him, I wasn't going to touch an axe, but I may as well watch him and make sure one doesn't end up in his head.

Everyone had gone back to their work now ignoring us, I hadn't missed that Cameron's stare had lingered slightly longer than the others.

At the axe throwing station we were greeted by the trainer who went through the basics with us, group 6's volunteers were obviously very good at this, and sliced trees open with effortless throws. Dre tried to do it, the axe fell to the ground before it hit the tree, Group 6 laughed and so did Gilda Hulk even though she was at the Gun station. Dre tried again, his attempts failing until his tenth go, when the axe went straight into the tree.

"That was good, Dre" I said trying to hide my disgust at his new found talent.

"It felt disgusting. I hate these things," He whispered to me.

I giggled lightly and encouraged him to keep trying.

"It's a skill nonetheless, keep trying," I urged

"Won't you have a go?" He asked

"No. My arms won't be able to manage it," I said, group 6 tittered at this statement,

"Let's try something else then?" He asked desperately wanting to get away from the axes.

"No, you stay, Kirk will be pleased if you get good at this, I'm going to try Guns," I said.

Dre nodded and continued hitting trees with the ugly axes. I wandered around until I found the Gun station. The train or seemed very impressed with Gilda's skill. I wasn't surprised she'd be good at this. Her group developed Advanced technology, she'd probably been tinkering with machines as deadly as guns since she was a toddler.

"Do you want a go?" The trainer asked me.

Never, I thought, I came here to admire Gilda.

"Yes please," I answered sweetly.

"Pick up one of the little guns, and aim for the middle of that circle there," she pointed to a circle not to far away, "Press only the green button, the pull the trigger," She continued.

Gilda started at me, her eyes gleaming, obviously she thought I'd be useless at this. I probably would be.

"Sure you can manage it Anna? Asthma not going to stop you?" Gilda said teasingly

I'm scared. I don't want to admit, but I'm very scared. Dre, Sparkle, Daisy and I were "Do you want a go?" The trainer asked me.

Never, I thought, I came here to admire Gilda.

"Yes please," I answered sweetly.

"Pick up one of the little guns, and aim for the middle of that circle there," she pointed to a circle not to far away, "Press only the green button, the pull the trigger," She continued.

Gilda started at me, her eyes gleaming, obviously she thought I'd be useless at this. I probably would be.

"Sure you'll manage it? Asthma not going to play up on you?" Gilda said teasingly.

Gingerly I picked up a small gun, that still looked terrifying to me, made a rough aim at the circle, pressed the green button, pulled the trigger and shoot. It seems everyone had been watching me, for the whole room went silent, I prayed that I had not done too bad. I opened my eyes. I had hit it straight in the middle. Gilda glared at me.

"My, my! Where did you learn that?" The trainer exclaimed.

"Nowhere," I replied hastily. "It was just beginners luck," I insisted, using an old phrase.

"Show me again," the trainer insisted.

Hesitantly, I picked the gun back up, pressed the green button pulled the trigger, slowly I reopened my eyes, and was surprised to see it had hit it's exact target again. The trainer burst into applause, and forced me to show her again 3 more times, each time hitting right in the middle of the circles. I spent at least half an hour at that station, moving onto more advanced guns, until I felt I'd had enough of Gilda's death glares. The volunteers from group 1 came to the Gun station as well, I'd forgotten they were probably masters with Guns as they developed nuclear weapons.

"Good isn't she?" The girl said to the trainer.

"Very, it must be natural talent, as she's had no chance to learn this where she's from," the trainer beamed.

I blushed slightly under the volunteers narrowed eyes.

"Yes, it's very impressive," She answered back curtly, she nodded to her partner, and he reached for one of the more dangerous looking guns from the box. He aimed it a swinging spider in the far corner of the room, it went straight through the spiders body.

"Not as impressive as that though?" The girl asked the trainer, her smile malicious.

"My oh my, aren't you a talented bunch?" The trainer gushed.

I quickly hurried to the next station, which happened to be snares and traps. After a quick introduction with the trainer here, I began to try and conduct a simple snare that will trap any animal that runs by it. This was a lot more complicated than the Guns, and I didn't seem to be getting it right. I tied the trap once more, then tested it again by throwing some pebbles on it. Still nothing happened. I stood up again, tiredly, and placed my hands around the knot again, wondering where I'd gone wrong. Cool palms covered mine.

"Your doing it wrong, you have to make it looser, so when something lands on it, it's quicker to react," A voice instructed me.

I turned around to see glimmering green eyes stare into mine.

"Thanks," I murmured.

He was right, once. I loosened the knot slightly, it all fell into place. I tried that trap over 3 more times, making sure I got it right each time.

"Do you remember me?" Cameron asked me, while absentmindedly creating a small snare, that was on the Highest level list in the introduction book to snares and traps.

"Telcos, right?" I asked cooly.

"Yeah,"

"I do, we were friends, before the groupings," I replied shyly.

"Best friends. We did everything together," He said softly.

I nodded.

"I can't believe your here," He said

"Why? There was every chance, my names in the bowl 3 times," I replied.

"But I prayed. Every night, that your nor Tammy would be volunteered for the Games, and to be volunteered on the same year as me is just- horrible,"

"I know. I don't want to hurt you,"

"Same here,"

"You're still my best friend though," I said, not sure whether I should admit this.

"You're still mine. I never forgot you, I thought about you every day, I even wrote letters, but I don't think you got them,"

"No I didn't, where did you address them too?"

"Group 8, Lee Ann Clayton," He answered, blushing a little.

I chuckled lightly in response.

"I can't believe you're here," He repeated

"Why?"

"Every day I prayed that I'd get to see you again face to face before I died, but aI never imagined.." He said trailing away.

"Yeah, I know,"

"Let's be allies?" He asked me, grabbing my hands in his.

"What? Why?" I spluttered.

"Because you're my best friend, your the only one here I trust," He said simply.

"What about your group partner?"

"I wouldn't trust her with my used tissue, she's a monster, as soon as the games start I want to be out of her way," he breathed in my ear, his breath on my ear made my bones tingle.

"How can you still trust me? I might have changed." I argued, not sure why I was.

"I can see it in your eyes. You haven't changed. They still sparkle as if your always crying, it always reminded me of how caring you were, any little thing would set you off, and your nails are short, that means you still bite them which you only did when you were worried about something, your still my little beetle," Cameron explained using an old nickname I'd completely forgotten.

"How can you?.. Remember? Know that I?" I stammered.

"I bet you're not even worried about dying, I bet it's about having to hurt anyone in here?" He asked, smiling at me.

"I-" I began

"See, I always know. You had no sense of self reservation, even at the age of 6," he smiled.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," I groaned, leaning into my best friend, forgetting that I hadn't seen him in 7 years.

"Win?" He offered sarcastically, patting my shoulders.

"I can't win if I have to kill," I moaned.

"Then I'll kill for you? I don't have a problem with it, if it means you'll survive,"

"No. I don't want you to die either, I want everything to be how it was," I whined.

"What's happened to you?" Cameron asked worriedly.

"I'm sorry?" This caught me off guard.

"You were always a quiet, shy little thing, but yet you were still so full of life, where have you gone? What have they done to you, you just seem sad?" Cameron fretted over me.

"I have my sisters to look after, it takes a lot out of you," I said attempting to smile.

"Sisters? There's another one?" He asked mildly curious.

"Yes. Her names Savannah," I replied.

"Cute. I miss you. I miss knowing all these things about you, the way you'd laugh, how you could sit in a corner all day reading a book, but still be the class clown the next day, I wish I could take you home with me," Cameron said quietly.

"So do I. But things are different,"

"let's be allies?" He offered Again.

"Um- I don't know," I said unsure, thinking of Dre

He obviously followed my train of thought, as his eyes found Dre who was still working at the axe station.

"Oh," was all he said "You have an ally?" He asked already knowing the answer.

"Well, yeah," I replied nervously, shuffling a little bit away from Cameron in case people noticed our intimate position.

"Dre Balks? From school? The kid who couldn't say boo to a fly?" Cameron asked, disbelieving.

"Don't talk about him like that, he's really brave and sweet, and getting pretty handy with an axe," I said, while attempting to do another snare, which would catch birds. It was on the intermediate list, so I had to focus.

"I know he's a good guy I'm just a bit jealous, where you guys friends in Group 8?"

"No. We only became friends on the trip here," I said shyly.

"But in his interview he said he'd die for you? He said he loves you," Cameron said tightly.

"I know,"

"Your hiding something from me," Cameron accused.

"I'm not. Help me with this trap? You seem like a pro at it,"

"It's something we learn in our group"

We spent 20 minutes in silence, according to the clock, as we worked on this snare together. Cameron seemed very adapt at it, I struggled slightly, but after a while I caught on. I watched how Cameron fingers would wrap themselves into the tiniest of knots without any difficulty, whenever his skin rubbed mine, it sent electricity down me. It was relaxing to watch him work on each snare, slowly showing me through each one, like when we were younger and he explained arithmetic to me. I wished I could show him my knife throwing ability.

"So what do you learn in 8?" Cameron asked me after he finished a very hard snare that should a person place a toe on it, they'd end up hanging themselves.

"Food things," I replied.

"Never, I mean in particular," He persisted. I eyed him suspiciously, wondering whether he was pretending to be my friend so he could feed all my secrets back to Gilda.

"What foods are poisonous, or edible and things like that," I muttered.

"That's cool," Cameron said

"What about you?"

"Tech stuff. And snares to, since food always gets to us late, we have to learn how to catch our own,"

"Why does food get you late?" I asked, curious.

"Because Group 3 is located behind dangerous mountains, that are hard to penetrate," Another male voice answered that didn't belong to Cameron

"Oh hi Dre," I greeted him nervously.

"Hey, and Hello Cameron," Dre said stiffly.

"Hey! Pretty handy with he that axe aren't you Dre?" Cameron greeted him warmly.

"I wish I wasn't. It's a horrible skill to have, terrible way to kill someone," Dre answered.

"Still nice as ever then I see, don't plan on winning these games do you, Dre?" Cameron said.

"Nope," Replied Dre.

"Brave guy. All for Lee Ann then?"

At this both me and Dre blushed, and looked down.

"Hey Dre let's go try swimming, I always wanted to learn how to do that," I said nodding towards the large empty pool

"Sure," Said Dre hopping up.

I jumped up to and walked with him, I felt guilty for just leaving Cameron but things were bound to get awkward and I didn't know how to deal with those situations, plus Danny was probably a bit left out. I owed Dre my life, he deserved to get my full attention at least.

"You and Cameron?" Dre asked.

"Just catching up, turns out I do remember him,"

"Thought you would,"

We were silent for a while, while we put our goggles on.

"Lee Ann?"

"Yes?"

"Who's Rosa-May?"

Great.

A/N

Ive changed the names of 3 characters

Lee Ann's sister: Is now Tamara/Tams/Tammy

Lee Ann's ex best friend: Is now Cameron

Lee Ann's group partner: Is now Dee


	13. Chapter 13: Allies?

I forgot how to speak. I didn't want to explain to Dre who Rosa May was.

"Later, let's learn how to swim first?"

"Ok,"

The trainer who had been watching me and Dre for a while, came up to us, via swimming through to the pool effortlessly.

"Right kids, now that your geared up, let me talk you through the basic strokes of swimming," the trainer said welcoming.

This trainer was very chatty. For at least 50 percent of the time she talked, it wasn't until 30 minutes later, that Dre and I were finally allowed to actually go in the pool. It was weird at first, being surrounded by water, and it took me a while to get used to it. After a few tries, I could do a basic breast stroke very well, Dre had grasped on to it as well, so the trainer turned up the difficulty level so there was an actual current pushing us in the opposite direction. This took me by surprise and succeeded in pushing me right to the other end of the pool, but after another 15 minutes of trying, I was successful, and swam the breaststroke through a very strong current for ten minutes without stopping. Dre was better than me though. This unnerved me, but I reminded myself that I wanted Danny to be good at things, so he could survive. Because I'd lost all hope of going home, I cared to much about the people in the arena, and I know I wouldn't mentally be able to handle any of their deaths.

"Lee Ann, it's 1 o clock, let's go for lunch," Dre called to me, shaking off the water.

"Yes sure," I garbled, having accidentally swallowed a mouthful of water.

He offered his hand, which I took, and heaved myself out of the water. I wondered why no one was every interested in swimming, it was very fun for me, despite taking a lot of my energy. I was glad that I could eat now, but scared because all the volunteers were going to be sat with us at the long table. What if they poisoned my food? Or glared at me? _Grow a spine_, I told myself, quoting my sister. Quickly I placed my self on a seat closest to the exit, Dre sat opposite me. After watching us for a while, Cameron sat next to Dre, his group partner stared at him. The tension in the room was very easy to feel.

"Awkward," Cameron sang in a high voice.

"I don't know what to say," Dre protested.

"That's a first," Cameron laughed jokingly.

"What?" Asked Dre, confused.

"I remember at school, you could talk for England, normally I'd find it annoying if someone talked nearly as much as you did but what you used to say made sense and it was fun to listen to you,even at the age of 5," Cameron explained.

"You remember that?" Dre asked, shocked.

"I remember everything that's special to me," Cameron said simply.

"Your just like Lee Ann,"

"How so?" I asked, slightly flattered.

"He remember's everything, like you do. Nothing passes you," Dre explained to me.

"You remember stuff too," I argued, thinking off how he remembered all those things about me.

"So Danny, have you gotten any better at Arithmetic over the past 7 years?" Cameron asked casually, playing with a piece of rope.

"Not really. Arithmetic's not that important where we're from, you just have to be able to grow food," Dre replied

"Oh," was all Cameron said.

Everything was silent once more, various group partners spoke in whispers to each other, but other than that all was quiet. Cameron looked as if he wanted to say something a few times, but he kept his mouth shut. Dre, for a change was very quiet too, only looking up from whatever was on his lap a few times to glance up at me. His brown eyes were so cute, I thought, but they didn't make my heart flutter the way Cameron's hazel ones did. I think I'm in love with Cameron. Even though I only remember the Cameron from when he was 7, but he seemed the same to me. Yes, he was a little bit more sarcastic and mean from when he was 7, but other than that he still seemed the same. Of only we hadn't had our reunion in the Preparation Centre for The Hunger Games. Everyone began to start talking to each other once the food finally arrived, the people from Groups 1-4 were in outrage at the-to them-obviously minuscule meals they were served, except Cameron who accepted his gracefully, and people in groups 5 and downwards looked at the food with undisguised hunger in their eyes. Even me, I must admit, although I was fed properly at home, this new food still excited me.

"Food looks good," Cameron commented.

"We do our best," Dre answered laughing.

"Well thank you, it tastes fantastic," Cameron replied, laughing also.

"I don't like it,"I murmured, as the chicken tasted flavourless.

"What?" Cameron gasped.

"It's true, this chicken doesn't seem as if it's been seasoned at all," Dre agreed.

"This is what my chicken always tastes like," Cameron muttered, looking down.

"I'd assume it would," I replied smugly. At least that was one thing to be proud about, that we got better tasting food than the other groups, which was only fair.

"What are your skills, Dre?" Cameron asked suddenly.

"Running, that's about it," said Dre

"And the axe throwing too," I interjected.

"Which you seem pretty good at, even the volunteers from 6 were impressed," Cameron said appraisingly.

"What about you Cameron?" I asked curiously.

"I'm good at trapping and snares, and with guns, but it's useless having those skills,"

"How?" I spluttered "Being good with a gun is a rare talent, and there are always loads of guns in the arena,"

"Yes, but those guns aren't like the ones we develop, they only paralyse people, and the arrows that they shoot aren't as sharp as you'd like them to be, so all it does is make your enemy aware that your there," Cameron explained patiently.

"I still think it's good being able to use a gun," I muttered angrily.

"Well if you find an _actual_ gun, and not the fakes they out in the arena, then yes, that's a skill. You'd be lucky if you found one, you seem pretty talented with it," Cameron replied.

"And you seem to be picking up on snares too," Dre added.

"Not as good as Cam though,"

"Well if we're allies, then you wouldn't have to worry about how good I am, because I'd be helping you," Cameron said lightly.

Allies? Was he still on this? What was Dre going to say?

"Allies?" Dre asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I know you two are together, but I'd love to join you?" Why did it bother me when he said Dre and I were _together_? We were _weren't_ we? He'd just declared his love for me and I hadn't rejected him.

"We'll talk about it, and tell you tomorrow," Dre replied stonily.

I nodded my head in agreement, I'd have to talk through this with Kirk or Daisy too.

"Why?" Cameron asked, quickly swallowing his chicken, "Don't you trust me?"

Hastily I denied, however Dre stayed silent and still.

"It's not that, but I've not seen you in 7 years, I don't know what you're like now.." Cameron answered.

"I'm still the same! I swear, Lee, you know Im the same," Cameron protested, looking at me desperately.

"Dre's got a point,"I pointed out.

"See! I've got nothing against you mate, but I don't want Lee Ann's life in jeopardy or any-"

"You think I'd hurt her?" Cameron suddenly snarled, people were starting to look at us.

"Cam jus-"

"No," He cut me off "He needs to know that I'd never hurt you. Ever. He's not the only one who's in love with you," Cameron hissed, before getting out of his chair and stamping out the room.

I just stared down at my plate, staring at the little pea's that swam in the brown gravy. I could literally feel everyones eyes on, me, especially Dre's. How was I supposed to react? Had Cam just admitted that he loved me? Did this make me a bad person? Did this qualify as me cheating on Dre?It was all so complicated, I wish my mum was still here, she used to explain things to me just right.

"Lee Ann, let's go up, there's no poin staying, your not going to learn anything when your like this," Dre said exasperated.

I nodded gently, getting up and walking quickly to the door.

"Lee Ann it's okay. It's not your fault, we'll just tell Cameron that we Don't want him as an ally," Dre said patting my back, obviously thinking this thought would comfort me.

"But Dre- I - I want him as an ally," I stammered nervously.

"Why? We don't know him anymore," Dre complained.

"We can trust him Dre,I know it's just the jealousy or something that's clouding your thoughts, but we both know he's the best person in there to have as an ally," I replied wisely.

Dre sighed heavily, "I know. But what if you fall in love with him and not me?" Dre asked me, staring right at me.

I fidgeted uncomfortably. "That won't happen," I said trying hard to mask the lie.

"Promise?" Dre asked like a child seeking comfort from his mother.

"I promise," I vowed, my fingers crossed behind my back.

A/N

Lee Ann's nickname for Cameron is Cam or sometimes Cam's.


	14. Chapter 14: Rosa-May

I'm so confused. Back home, marriage and relationships were banned until you were 18. Well of course you could date people, and give them quick pecks on the cheeks, hold their hands and such, but anything more was considered illegal. So it was easy to hang around with the opposite sex back home, because you knew nothing would happen, and feelings wouldn't complicate the friendship until you were old enough to handle them. Here, in the Capitol, when the word 'love' was thrown around casually by people as young as Toya! Where if I were to begin dating Dre or Cameron, it wouldn't be frowned upon, in fact it would be encouraged. Maybe I should date them? I'm not going to survive these games, and I don't like the idea of dying without knowing the feeling of being in a relationship. Without understanding what its like to be hugged from behind, what it's like for someone to hold you... But that would bring shame on my family. But I was going to die anyways, so why not live a little? My family would understand, that I only behaved this way because I knew I wouldn't live to see my 14th birthday, let alone my 18th. The question was, who would I engage in my relationship with? There was Dre of course, but do. I honestly feel that way about him? Yes I loved him, but when he hugged me all I felt was comfort, not sparks, no urge to do anymore than that, when we talked to each other, his voice didn't make me shiver. Or do any of the things I'd read in the romance novels. Dre was more like my older brother,even though I was older than him. Whereas, after the mere hour or two I'd spent with Cameron, even thinking his name in my head made me blush. When he'd put his hand over mine to help me with the snare, had made my body tingle. And Cameron had sort off admitted that he'd loved me too. Probably not in the same way though, I told myself, he's been in Group 3 for 7 years with many other respectable white girls. I'd never understood why there was a group 3, if it's main race was just 'white people,' how would you separate the white people from the whites in Group 2, who were European race? Or the whites in group 1 who could trace their family back, and prove they were completely English. Or those in the Capitol, who were white and could prove they were related to the royal family. 'White' wasn't really a very specific distinction, that means nearly all the people who are in groups 1-5 should just be put in group 3, dad had nice told me it was the group for those who could trace their family back for a few years, and the Capitol had good reason to believe were fully English. It still made no sense to me. The whole idea of Groupings made no sense to me.

So if this is how I felt, why had I promised Dre that I wouldn't fall in love with Cameron a few hours ago? To be honest it was true that I wouldn't fall in love with Cameron. But that was only because I already had. This was not fair to Dre. He had declared his love first, he was prepared to die for me. I dint want him too, but if any mistake in my part, ensures that he does, it would be something aI could never repay him for. So he deserved to be the one I Loved. I don't want to hurt him, he was only 12 and he had suffered so much already, I didn't want to be the first one to break his heart. I never want to hurt him. But I don't want to hurt Cameron either. My room door opening, interrupted my thoughts.

"Lee Ann?" Dre's voice called.

"Under here," I called back, coming up from under the sheets.

"Oh hi there," Dre said, coming on my bed and hugging me.

I wouldn't say the hug repulsed me, it was quite comforting and relaxing to have someone warm cuddle me, but it just made me feel guilty. After all, I had promised not to lie to Dre.

"Do you think we should go back down to prep?" I asked, remembering how, when we'd first arrived after the dramatic lunch, Daisy and Kirk had both raged at how important preparation was, how it was vital to our survival. What survival? I had asked myself, humourlessly.

"We'll go back tomorrow, right now we should talk,"

"I know," I sighed.

"Why do you want Cameron as an ally?" Dre asked confused, yet his eyes remained still and angry.

How do I begin? "He's my best friend," I answered, simply.

"Still? After all these years? He might not be the same,what if he turns and kills you?" Dre fretted.

"Dre, I don't think he's changed. If he had, his eyes would've..-" I stopped myself quickly, embarrassed.

"His eyes?" Dre asked, sadly.

"Would've gone darker. I've noticed it in loads of people, when they turn, their eyes are much darker than I remember, and their pupils become small slits," I explained embarrassed that I had paid so much attention, but happy remembering how big Cameron's pupils had been, and how light his green had been.

"Your sure? You really thin he's to be trusted?" Dre asked me again, worriedly.

"Yes." I said firmly.

"He might kill you," Dre panicked again.

"Then you leave, so he doesn't kill you," I replied earnestly.

"What?"Dre exclaimed.

"If something goes wrong, just run, as fast as you can," I said once more,

"If you die, I want to die as well, don't you Understand? That's why you have to win, without you I have no life,"

Oh no. Not again, with the whole 'cant live without you' sequence. Doesn't he understand I feel the same way? If he dies, or Cameron, I'll be forever plagued by them and their memories. I'd never be at peace, and what use would I be to my family if I was merely an empty body haunted by the dead.

"Dre, I don't plan on winning," I admitted, with a low sigh.

"You have to,"

"But I don't want to," I answered, sounding like a spoiled child.

"Why?"

"Because, if you die," I hesitated, not sure whether to admit this, "And I don't, I'll miss you. Lots. I don't think, mentally, that I'd be able to carry on living,"

"I love you," Dre whispered, hugging me tighter, yes, I thought finally, he had accepted the fact that he had to win. Not me. But then he whispered in my ear;

"That's why you have to win,"

"But Dre-" I protested.

"Please? For me?" Dre cut me off his eyes pleading.

I stayed silent for a few moments, for I wouldn't agree to this, but if I objected, this conversation would just grow, maybe into an argument. So I just snuggled closer into his chest, trying to direct my thoughts away from Cameron and his green eyes, and the fact that he'll have to die in order for Dre to win. Or vice versa.

"So who's Rosa-May?" Dre asked finally.

Rosa-May. Not Rosa-May. Anyone but Rosa-May.

"Rosa May was-was a- a volunteer," I stuttered "For the same games as Kirk,"

Silence.

"What happened in their games? Why was Kirk screaming her name when he was asleep?" Danny asked, sounding more like a twelve year old boy than I'd ever heard him.

"I don't remember those Games much Dre," I lied

"Lee Ann,"

"They were friends, my mum and Rosa-May, they were very good friends from before the Groupings. She lived a few minutes away from us, when she died her house and things went to my mum. It was a big shock when she was chosen, I think that's what really made my mum- ill. At first her and Kirk were quite close, they were allies at the beginning of the Games. Then I think, Kirk told her he didn't want to be her ally anymore, he said all she did was slow him down. And then he left. But it was an act. He loved her, and just didn't want to be the one to kill Her. Two days later, he heard her scream from over a mile away, he ran to her and watched her as she died. She had been bitten by a tracker jacker. She was hysterical, hallucinating, she didn't realise Kirk was trying to save her, that he loved her, no matter how many times he told her. She died, screaming at him to leave her alone, blaming him for her death,without ever knowing that Kirk loved her. I think that's why Kirk killed so viciously after that. It was a very sad thing to watch, I try not to remember,"

Dre stared into space for a while.

"When Kirk said he was a friend of your parents, do you think he meant?.." Dre's voice trailed off.

"I don't remember him. At all. His name rings a bell, but the only thing. I can dredge up is once before the groupings I think my mother called him, when she and dad had fallen out. And when we moved to group 8, he came over with these pretty brown flowers. But that's it." I said.

Poor kirk. When I had first come here on the train. I had called Kirk an evil murderer. I had called him stupid. Defied him in any way possible, avoided speaking to him at all costs. Completely ignored him. Then, I Had been angry. Well I was trying to be angry. Angry at the fact that they had taken me away from my home. Now, as I think about what he's gone through. How he had cried when he had to leave Rosa-May in their Games, how he had begged her to listen to him when she was bitten by the tracker jackers, how he'd run without stopping for a mile until he found her. Kirk wasn't evil. I don't know how I could've thought that, treated and thought about him like that when I knew what he gone through. How sad it must be for his true love to die, hating him, blaming him for his death. This story only fuelled my desire to engage in a relationship before I died in the games. To know how it feels, to let Cole know I did love him. I don't want it to be like Kirk. For him to die before. I could tell him. For me to die before I could tell him.

"That's awful,"Dre muttered.

"I know,"

"Your poor mum, she must have been devastated," Dre said again, his voice weak.

"She was. So was everyone else in the Group, our first games, and look what we had to endure. It was a surprise for us to win those games. I thought it was bad thing that we won, it was a particularly horrible Games, and the fact that we won is a bit sad, something to be ashamed off,"

"Your going to win these ones," Dre stated

"I don't want to have nightmares about you though," I whispered. Or cameron or that little girl from 5.

"You won't. I won't haunt you," Dre laughed lightly.

"No don't joke. You think Rosa-Mays haunting Kirk?" I asked seriously.

"No. I think Kirks just living in guilt and sorrow, it was a sad thing that happened,"

"If you die, that's what I'll be like," I said

"Ditto," Dre countered.

"Let's just live for here and now, don't think about tomorrow," I murmured wistfully.

"Yeah," Dre breathed.

We sat there, on my bed entwined with each other, in silence. But the silence said a million things. The revelation that The Games didn't leave you when you left the arena. That the horrific memories visited you in your sleep, in your daydreams and thoughts. It made everything seem so real, and frightening. I certainly did not want to win if that's what I was letting myself in for. I don't want to remember sad things like that. Which would be equally hard, since I remember everything. Especially the sad things. My thoughts went to Cameron, what was he thinking? What would I do about him? I can't kill him, and I don't think Dre will kill him, despite his objections to have him as an ally. And. I can only pray that Coles still the same, and wouldn't kill Dre. And if all this was true, how were any of us going to win? It's impossible. One thought entered my mind, as. I drifted to sleep in Dre's arms.

Nicholas Swan.

You will die.

Just like I will.

When you do, I'll be dancing in my grave.


	15. Chapter 15: Tammy POV: mum

"Mum!" I called as she stepped out the door.

"Yes?" She answered, obviously surprised. For. I hadn't called her mum since I was 3.

"Can I come?" I asked.

"What about Savannah? What will happen to her if you don't pick her up from nursery?" Mum asked sharply.

"She will find her way home, or go and stay with Dad in the fields," I replied impatiently.

"Does to she do this often?" Mum inquired

"Nearly every day, as I'm normally at school later than she is, so she has to go him by herself,"

"But she's 4!" Mum explained.

"It's normal, nearly all her class walk to the fields to meet her parents so she won't be alone," I argued.

"That's normal? Won't she pick up something in the fields to eat that can harm her? Maybe we should go and collect her now," mum worried.

"Yes it normal, and any 4 year old can tell which foods are edible or not, it's a skill they pick up when they go to the fields, or in class," I explained.

"That's- different," Mum said dazed. Then something dawned on her "Why weren't you in school?"

"Your allowed time if if any immediate family of yours is involved in the Games,"

"I want you in school. Lee Ann won't want you to watch her, she's probably frightened. It will make her jittery if she thinks you're watching her, and I don't want you becoming scared either, and when savannah comes back, I'll let her know not to go home by herself anymore," Mum told me firmly.

I nodded. I didn't want to have a disagreement with mum so soon after her recovery. Be Lee Ann, I told myself, she was compassionate, patient, loving and kind, if she was here and not me, she'd know exactly how to deal with mum, how to behave, what to say. I was not used to having someone in my life who told me what to do, sure dad bossed me about a bit, but he worked long hours and wasn't always at home, and Lee Ann had enough trust in me to know I wouldn't do anything stupid, so she didn't need to tell me what to do. It was strange and odd, and her attitude angered me slightly. Who was my mother, to tell me what to do and what Lee Ann would want, if she has been zoned out in madness for the last 5 years. I bit my tongue, she was just trying to do her job, which is the least I can allow her to do. It was a bit of a surprise for me, to hear her worry over Savannah. What had she done when she was four and her mother couldn't collect her from school? Did they hire a babysitter? I'd heard of those in the other Groups, where a person was paid to look after another child. The idea is ludicrous to me, when the children here basically looked after themselves. It was strange to hear mum worry over me getting scared, didn't she know me? Didn't she know I don't get scared? That was Lee Ann, I was Toya.

"All the kids do it mum," I reminded her.

"Well mine don't anymore. If I'm around, you'll be picked up from school,"

"How will we become independent and aware about our duty without wandering around the Growing Fields?" I asked her wisely

"Pardon?" Mum quipped

"That's how the kids learn which foods are poisonous or not, and how to grow food, and raise animals, if you pick Savannah up and keep her in the house how will she learn?" I repeated.

"I'll teach her, a safer way. I'll take her out myself and show her. And you too for that matter, I noticed how Lee Ann let you roam free, that stops,"

"What?"

"Don't say what, it's rude," mum chastised me.

"Sorry," I apologised hastily. "I mean, I have a meadow where I go, and I really like it there, it helps me concentrate,"

"I'll go with you then, only when you've done your schoolwork of course,"

"I don't want you to come. I practice my archery, I like to that alone," I answered quickly, only just realising how rude that sounds.

Mum blinked at me, surprised.

"Archery? Your good at it?" Mum asked me quickly

"Yes."

"Well you can go to the meadow for two hours a day. To practice. Not for those long 6 hours I've noticed you've been gone,"

I nodded serenely, glad we'd come to a compromise. I didn't want to have an argument. Mum then exclaimed at the time, and told me we had to hurry to get to Quen's house. My hands became sweaty, as I remembered where mum was set out to go. When I hesitated in stepping outside, mum grabbed my hand and pulled me along gently, but even when I was out the didn't let go. It was very comforting to hold her hand.

It was comforting to have my mum back.

**a/n**

**Just a small filler chapter, to show how Lee Ann's mums absence has left her oblivious to how things go in Group 8, and how people raise her children.**


	16. I threw an axe: Chapter 16

_Pushing myself forwards. Push harder, Lee Ann, I urged myself. Don't let the water take you, Lee Ann, push harder. Much harder. It was useless, the water was swallowing me into it's deep, dark depths. I was being sucked into its core, my mouth was being filled with its salty liquid, I couldn't breathe. I was going to die. Painfully. _

_"I love you" I whispered, my throat sore. _

_It was too bad that I had no idea who I was speaking too when I said that._

_"I love you," I repeated once more._

_Who deserves to have my last earthly sentence directed at them? Cameron Dre?Tammy? Sav?_

_"I love you Mum," I whispered once more, before allowing the water to completely blanket me._

_"You love him more, Lee Ann, you love that brown eyed boy much more," my mothers voice called out to me sadly._

"Lee Ann!" A worried voice shouted.

Groggily, I opened my eyes. The room I was in was strangely quite dim. Where was I? Why is my neck so stiff? Am I dead? Didn't the water eat me?

"Lee Ann?" The voice asked again, sounding a little bit relieved.

I turned to where the voice was coming from. It was a young dark boy. His dark brown eyes, that matched mine perfectly, were staring at me, panicking and afraid.

"Are you ok?" The young boy asked me

Am I ok? What does that mean? I'm at home, my two sisters in the beds next to me, my mother and father downstairs. What was this boy doing in my room? Was he a burglar? Why was he asking if I was ok? How does he know my name?

"Who are you?" I asked harshly, moving myself away from him, why was I on his lap?

"What?" The boy asked confused.

"Tammy! Dad! Mum!" I yelled

"Lee Ann, what's wrong?" The boy asked, reaching out to touch me.

"Get away from me!" I screamed, jumping off the bed.

"What did I do?" The boy asked frantically, looking around as if the answer would just reveal itself to him.

"Where's my sisters? What have you done with Tammy and Sav?" I screeched manically, searching around this unfamiliar room for the two low mattresses my sisters slept in.

"Your sisters are at home Lee Ann," The boy said slowly.

"So where am I then? What have you done with me?" I demanded.

"Your in the Capitol,"

The Capitol.

The memories came flooding back. My sisters were at home. My dad can't save me nor my mum, for they too were at home. I was gone. I was the one that had left. No, scratch that, I was the one had been taken away. I was in the Capitol. I was part of the Hunger Games. The boy sat in front of me was Dre balks. He was also part of the Hunger Games. He's in love with me. So is Cameron. I think. Cameron is my best friend.

I'm going to die.

"Sorry Dre," I muttered after a few moments if silence.

"What happened?" Dre fretted

"I don't know," I replied honestly.

"You were asleep. For so long. I was just looking at you, but then you started screaming, and thrashing around, and you wouldn't wake up. Then you said 'I love you'," Dre explained, somewhat sheepish.

"Oh," I said, remembering the nightmare. The one where I die, and I don't know who to say I love you too for the last time.

"What time is it?" I asked

"Just gone 9am, we can still get to Preparation if we hurry,"

"Preparation?" I asked.

"Remember, where we went yesterday, and you saw Cameron. We're going to tell him he can be our ally," Dre said slowly, enunciating each word.

Oh yes, I remember, it seems like weeks have passed, when it's only been a day. No, not even a day, maybe 10 hours.

"Why are you in my room?" I asked, suddenly self-conscience.

"We fell asleep. After you told me about Rosa-May," Dre answered hastily, climbing quickly off my bed.

"Oh," I remembered. Rosa-May. That name still brought tears to my eyes. Rosa-May, I moaned in my head, why did she have to die? If she had lived, she and kirk could be together now. But if she had lived, Kirk would've died then, wouldn't he? Were the Hunger Games really this awful, or was my hazy minded getting it mixed up again? I prayed for the latter.

"I'm going to get dressed,meet you at the elevator in an hour," Dre announced awkwardly.

"An hour?" I exclaimed,shocked. It took an hour to have a quick wash and put some clothes on? Oh we weren't at home, I reminded myself. We were in the Capitol.

"Erm, I just- want to, erm- speak with Daisy," he stuttered.

Dre rushed out the room, not giving me any time to reply. What had happened? Was I still asleep? Was this a dream? What if it was? That means I must already be in the Games, that I'm asleep, and I'm dreaming of Dre! I must wake up, before someone finds and kills me! I got up from my bed and moved and jumped around, hoping to wake myself up. After 20 minutes of this tedious exercise, I concluded that I wasn't asleep. So why were my thoughts all hazy? Why could I not recall things? Why was I in the Games? Why didn't mum volunteer for me? Did she hate me?

No. More memories flooded back. Mum is ill. Very ill, she can't volunteer.

Mechanically, I rose myself from the bed and walked to she shower. For a moment, I think I forgot how to walk, for I just stood there in the centre of the room, waiting for my legs to start moving.

The warm water in the shower revived all of the memories I had lost. Now that I was dressed and refreshed, I knew perfectly well where I was, why I was here, and what I was going to do.

The hunger games.

Nicholas Swan.

To die.

Mum. Why was my mother plaguing my thoughts all of a sudden? All I could think about was her? Her laugh, her smile, the safety that would emanate from her, the warmness in her touch. How she hasn't properly spoken to me in at least 5 years. How she hasn't properly looked at me in 5 years too. "Mum" I groaned silently

"I need you. I don't know what to do," I continued "I didn't listen to dad. I made friends, mum, and in can't kill them, or let them die. Mum, I'm going to die, I'll make sure I do mum. When I do, can you become normal, for Tammy and Savannah? Please mum. I'm lost. So I think it's best I die. Don't cry mum, I don't want anyone to be sad. Mum where are you?" I said to myself, not making sense. Tears fell silently from my eyes.

Wheres my mum? I want her back, I don't want her to be ill anymore, I want my old mum. And My old dad. I want my old life. I want to stop having all these headaches. I want to stop crying. I want to stop worrying. I just want to stop living. Everything was too hard and complicated. I could feel my head bursting with all the things I had to think about.

"Lee Ann," A gruff voice called.

I groaned quietly in reply. Why can't everyone just leave me alone? I don't want to go to Preparation. I don't want to prepare for my death.

"Oh there you are," Said Kirk walking into my room. "Oh your showered and ready, excellent,"

I stared into space silently, trying to once again become absorbed in my thoughts. It was the only place I knew I was safe. Inside my head.

"How did it go yesterday?" He asked, breaking the silence.

"Fine," I barely whispered.

"Doesn't seem like it,"

"How?" I asked tiredly.

"You and the boy came up here before it was over, fell asleep in each other's arms and now you look half dead,"

"I'm good with a gun," I answered, not even keeping up with what he was saying.

"What did the boy say to you?" Kirk persisted, ignoring me.

"He asked me who Rosa-May was," I recounted, not even bothering to ask myself if this was a smart thing to say.

Many expressions clouded kirks eyes, until it finally settled on grief and anguish.

"What did you say?" He asked painfully.

"That she was the love of your life,"

"Good," Kirk replied instantly, "Because that's just what she is" Is? Present tense?

Silence.

"Your good with a gun then?" Kirk piped up.

Go away, I moaned, I don't want to speak, I want to die. Or go to preparation and socialise with the people who will at least ensure that, that happens. Why was I suddenly so eager for my death? Had I finally realised what sort of world I lived in? That I didn't want to live here anymore? What a cruel person I was.

"Yes,"

"Guns aren't that useful in Arena, all they do is paralyse your enemy for maybe a few seconds if you're lucky, hardly any of them have actual bullets inside,unless they put a real one in there,"

"I heard," I answered mutely.

"Well you try your hand at archery,"

"Why?"

"So you can survive in the arena," Kirk told me, trying to be sarcastic, but the mention of Rosa-May's name earlier, made his voice sound sad and not sarcastic.

"I don't want to though," I argued lamely.

"I'm sorry?" Kirk asked, staring at me.

"I want to die. I'm going to die. In that Arena. So don't try and help me, help Dre," I said faintly.

"Lee Ann! What are yo-"

"Good bye, prep starts now," I announced, getting up to exit the room, for it had just heard the clock sound that it was 10am.

I quickly walked out the door, glad to be away from Kirk. I didn't need the lecture on staying alive and to keep faith. For I had lost faith. Something inside of me had just died. After I had that nightmare of dying, I just feel empty. Soulless. Maybe it was because I had seen that winning the Hunger Games isn't something one wants. Especially if it comes with a daily dose of horrid nightmares. Look at Kirk. He pretended to be cheeky and fun, but behind closed doors, he was suffering. Hard, too. I don't want to suffer like that. Sure, I have family at him, but what good will I be if I return home damaged, beyond belief. It will be like mum all over again. For I was just like mum. Yes compassionate, caring, loving and funny, but emotionally we were always on edge, fragile, uneasy. One simple knock, could completely tip us over. How many times had I ended up in a crying heap on the floor from just watching a child trip up in the playground? Or from killing any of the animals we raised? Or even from reading one of my many story tale books? I had especially cried at Harry Potter when Sirius dies. How could anyone write about deaths so easily, without just dying themselves? J.K Rowling must be very strong. Like Tammy. Not like dad. Or mum. Or me. One little push, and I'd topple over. How I survived watching 7 years of The Hunger Games, I don't know. But all of a sudden, all the horrors I'd seen in my mere 13 years came crashing down on me, and was tearing me slowly into little parts.

"I hate preparation," Dre groaned, as we stepped in the elevator

"Why?" I asked, uninterested.

"They bring us here to die, and expect us to _prepare_ for it? It's ridiculous," Dre explained.

"Preparation," I murmured

"Yes Lee Ann, preparation," Dre said, gawping at me.

I nodded silently.

"Are you ok? You seem so quiet and sad," Dre fretted.

"I'm fine," I muttered "Come on let's go, were here now," I said quietly, walking out of the elevator and into the preparation room.

It was the same as yesterday. We arrived late. Everyone stared at us, and somebody I didn't recognise, who was obviously from the Capitol, greeted us brightly and told us to '_have fun'._ Dre went over to the axe station once more, I followed him silently and sat down, ready to be taken away with my thoughts, for I had no intention of training here anymore. Training in this place, where so many people who were now dead had once trained. Prepare.

Dre glanced at me, worry in his eyes, but he dismissed it and picked up a rather nasty looking axe. I cringed at how easily and naturally he threw the axe isn't the tree, and how it cut the tree clean in half. The trainer at this station clapped loudly. Everyone looked at us again. Cameron's stare lingered longer than everyone else's, he caught my eye and smiled. I think I was too late in returning, for when he turned back to his snares, his face looked sadder than before.

"Lee Ann, why don't you try?" Dre asked me.

"No," I refused simply.

"Please? I feel weird doing it by myself," Dre persisted

"No," I repeated firmly

"Oh give it a try honey! You can't just sit there," The trainer enthused.

"Fine," I muttered angrily.

Fine. I'll try. I will use this new found emotion and throw it all into this axe. One try, I told myself, one try, then I'd walk away. Just to try it out. Only once, Lee Ann.

Slowly, I picked up a very big axe. Group 6's volunteers laughed openly at me, the trainer's smile wavered as she warned me this might be too hard for a beginner. I remembered I must act weak for these people, so I pretended to stagger under it's weight. They laughed again. Even Dre looked quite uneasy. Thanks for the faith, love of my life.

I picked the axe up, tirned towards a very large, thick tree and threw my axe into it, remembering all the horrible things I'd watched in the hunger games. All the suffering I'd seen going on in my Group, all the people who had died because they were hungry and ate the fruit we grew. All the people who had lost their loved ones because they were to young to have a physical relationship, therefore they were killed or transported to the other side of Group 8. I threw the axe.

I slipped right through the tree, and fixed itself into the wall behind the synthetic tree I'd thrown it at.

The silence was deafening.

"Where did you learn that?" The girl volunteer from group 6 demanded.

"We know your Group isn't allowed any weapons other than kitchen knife!" The boy volunteer exclaimed.

"Why! How very talented you are, young lady!" The trainer exclaimed brightly.

"Lee Ann? Where did you learn that?" Dre asked me wildly.

"Her family must smuggle weapons! How else she get good with these things?" Group 6 girl exclaimed.

"They didn't. I have asthma. I don't do much at home. I don't know why I am so good," I protested weakly.

"Now children, behave," the trainer warned, people at the other stations were still looking at us.

"It must be beginners luck," The Group 6 boy said logically.

"Yes, do it again 8, let us see if it was luck," The girl ordered me.

I could feel everyone's eyes on me. I had promised myself, I'd only touch an axe once. I was going to keep my promise. Mechanically, I turned on my heel and walked away from the Axe Throwing station. My footsteps echoed around the room, as I wandered aimlessly trying to look for the least despicable station. I found myself at the swimming pool.

"Want to try the breaststroke again, dear?" The chatty trainer asked me Warmly.

"Yes," I answered stiffly

At this comment everyone lost focus on me. Swimming wasnt even considered as a skill to all of the volunteers,they all thought it was a soft option for weaklings. The only volunteers who had any skill with water was the ones from 2, as they caught fish and gathered water as their main duty. But they were usually the first ones to die in the arena, unless the arena is a big pool, they don't really have any chance of survivng.

I entered the pool. The water was strangely comforting to me, I felt safe. Carefully, I did the breaststroke up and down the pool, with surpisingly quite a lot of energy, doing 50 lengths in 15 minutes. The trainer praised me, then gave me a synthetic current, which held no challenge for me whatsoever. I still swam well, gliding through the water as if it was not there. I spent an hour in the pool. It was nice. The solitude, the quiet, so I told think uninterrupted. Think about all the horrors this country had suffered. It was all because of Nicholas Swan. When the Royal family were abolished and no longer existed, a prime minister was appointed, everything ran smoothly and no major changes were made. It continued like this for a further 90 years. Then Nicholas Swan came into power, he made his changes slowly, taking two years to spilt us into Groups, then a further year to introduce the Hunger Games. Saying it was to make us into a stronger nation, to supreme over the others. What others? When the Royal Family died off in the atomic bomb when they were on tour, so did most of the other nations, the only ones that were alive were the South Africans. But they had no idea what was happening in the country formerly known as Great Britain. Apart from then, every other nation has died out, there only survivors were the ones in the various groups here in England. Nicholas also said that he was leading out a plan to create the super race and this was all preparation for it. _Preparation, _I repeated in my head. I hate preparation. In a surge of anger, I jumped out the pool soaking wet, hastily I dried myself off and left the Pool, without even finishing my length. The water was to silent, too comforting, allowing me to wallow in my thoughts. I need something mind consuming now, I don't want to think anymore, or else I'm sure I'd cry. And I didn't want to cry.

"Hey there, beetle," A cool voice greeted me.

I turned around to find Cameron's sparkling green eyes staring into mine. I was comforted by the fact that his pupils were still huge and the green of his eyes, bright and beautiful.

"Hello Cameron," I greeted him, my voice emotionless.

"What's up Lee?" He asked immediately.

"I'm sad," I told him serenely. Why was it that I felt I could tell Cameron anything? but when Dre had asked me if I was OK, I had lied and told him I was fine.

"Lee," Dre moaned sadly.

"I don't know why. It was last night, after I was speaking to Dre I just started thinking about my mum, and I felt really sad. Do you think I'm ill?" I asked him worriedly.

"No, it's fine to be sad, were going off to die Lee Ann," Cameron reminded me, grinning.

"I suppose," I laughed, why was it that Cameron could make me laugh after my brooding morning.

"Let's go do some snares, you need a lot of _preparation_ for that, I saw your bird trap, not good my friend," Cameron teased lightly, pulling me towards the empty station.

When we arrived there, and got started on an intermediate level trap, Cameron began questioning me;

"Where did you learn to do that with a axe?"

"I didn't" I answered

"People don't just slice through tree's on their first time," Cameron argued.

"I was just really angry and I threw the axe and it just went through it," I explained tiredly, my depressive mood resurfacing.

"Did you learn it illegally back home?" Cameron persisted

"Home?" I questioned, raising my eyebrows.

"Group 8," Cameron answered

"Oh. _My_ home. No. I didn't, as group 6 said were not allowed to have any weapons, even the peacekeepers. Only kitchen knives," I said, trying not to reveal my talent for knife throwing.

"Oh. You're sure?" Cameron repeated once again.

"Yes, I am. Why don't we try something else Cameron?You're already good at Snape's and Traps," I asked, gesturing to the complicated trap Cameron had just completed in 2 minutes.

"I feel fine here," Cameron replied stiffly.

"Come, let's go, let me show you how to shoot a gun," I urged, grinning cheekily.

Cameron smiled wearily as I dragged him towards the guns station. What had happened? First I was sad, then Ok, now I seemed to be acting like I did before the groupings.

"Okay my little beetle," Cameron sighed happily.

Once we got to the Gun station, the volunteers from group 1 followed us, grinning maliciously. Great. They were bringing back my depressing mood. No, I wouldn't let the ruin this, after 6 years, I was finally feeling like myself again, isn't that what I had vowed to do as I wouldn't have much longer to do it? I picked up one of the large guns that I had begun using last lesson, and tried it out, shooting it at a few targets, hitting right on target with each of them.

"Right Cam, get a gun, press the green button, then shoot, got it?" I instructed lightly

He nodded determinedly and picked up a medium sized gun and shot it at a large and easy target. He missed it by a few millimetres. The group 1 volunteers laughed loudly.

Cameron shot again, this time getting closer, but they still continued laughing, on his third time he missed it by about an inch which was a bit bad, and they literally fell to the ground in tears. Cameron flushed red. Anger surged through me, I had to avenge them. Show them that it wasn't ok to laugh at my best friend. I dredged up every horrible memory I had, picked up a gun, and shot it at the group 1 boy's palm. I aimed for a lone freckle, hitting it perfectly. Their laughter died. I then aimed for the girls nose, and was once again successful.

"You bitch! Who do you think you are?" The girl screeched, tugging to sharp point out of her face.

"You didn't just shoot at us? You Group 8 scum!" The boy bellowed.

At these words, Dre walked towards us, as so many other volunteers had. Why was I always centre of attention here?

"Calm down, language people," The trainer warned

"She just shot us! " The girl argued

"I understand, and it won't happen again, right 8?" The trainer asked, looking at me.

"No. It was an accident. I don't have very good aim," I replied sweetly.

The trainer nodded happily, returning back to the book she was reading.

"In the arena, I'm going to kill you. Painfully," The girl vowed

Where had I heard those words before?

"I'm super scared," I said sarcastically, shooting at a spider on the wall, hitting it right in its centre. Copying the trick they'd intimidated me with the day before.

"Lee Ann, let's go, your good enough with the gun," Dre said, pulling me away.

"Fine, come on Cameron, let's try something else,"

"It's lunch Lee Ann, I think you need a time out," Cameron said, shaking his head in surprise

"What's wrong with you Lee Ann?" Dre hissed at me over the table.

"I don't get you, Dre," I muttered back confused

"This morning your all depressed and quiet, and now your verbally attacking 1?" Dre exclaimed

Thats a good question. Too bad. I don't have an answer. I really don't know what's wrong with me. This morning back on our floor, I felt like a dark cloud was hovering above me, reminding me of all the bad things that had ever happened to me, and I felt defeated and sad. Once I'd seem Cameron, it's like the sun had come out. All the bad thoughts faded away and I felt happy again. Like I was 6 and I could get away with murder once more. I had actually laughed.

"Why are you being so awkward, Dre?" I retorted

"Awkward? Your the one who slices the thickest tree I've seen in half walks away, and starts a fight with group 1! I mean, are you mentally challenged?" Dre fumed.

_Mentally challenged_. The words press a button inside me, that sucks all the happiness and laughter or just ok-ness out of me. Those were the words I'd heard a peacekeeper use to describe mums state. I had always thought I was mentally unstable. It had been one of my worst nightmares, that I'd end up like mum did, and Tammy would have all responsibility thrown onto her shoulders. I scraped my chair back, causing the room to go silent and walked out.

"Nice going man," I heard Cameron say sarcastically behind me.

"It's true, she's been acting weird and she won't tell me what's up" Dre retorted defensively.

Impatiently I pressed the elevator button, willing it to zoom up to me and take me back to my floor. Reality was pressing down in me again. I whimpered.

"Hey, you'll break it," Cameron called to me

"I don't care," I muttered.

"I'm sure the Capitol will," Cameron pointed out

I stayed silent, shutting my eyes, for I could feel a painful headache coming on.

"Lee Ann, he didn't mean it,he's worried about you," He said to me quietly.

Again I remained silent, for this headache was gradually becoming more painful with each minute.

"Lee? Where you going? Preparation's not over yet," Dre called to me

"Bye Cameron. See you tomorrow," I said robotically, as the elevator doors opened for me.

I quickly hopped in, and pressed the button so the doors would shut, stopping Dre from perusing me. I wanted to cry, the headache was taking over, forcing me to hunch over in pain. One thought filled my mind as I bent over in excruciating pain.

I had forgotten to tell Cameron we could be Allies now.


	17. Do I love Dre?: Chapter 17

"Ouch," I screamed

The headache was becoming worse and worse. The mere moments I'd been stood in the elevator, it had already reduced me to tears, as I leant against the wall. This always happened when I became stressed. I'd thought aid grown them out, for. I hadn't suffered from them in the past year, but obviously they were still here waiting to strike. If they were only going to come when I was stressed how would I survive these games, for I'll be constantly on edge won't I? Oh wait, I am not going to win these games. I've already decided to die. The words '_you're going to die'_ kept spinning around my brain. No matter how much Cameron made you laugh, you were going to die.

"Lee Ann!" Dre's voice exclaimed

I looked up in surprise that he was there, for this was the only lift wasn't it?

"What's wrong? Why are you on the floor?" Dre continued, worriedly.

"How- are, you here?" I whispered hoarsely

"The stairs," Dre explained dismissively.

"You climbed the stairs up 8 floors that fast?" I asked, shocked

"I told you I was fast, now come on, your in pain," Dre said, while guiding me back to my room.

As quickly as possible we hobbled through the main room, hoping not to see Daisy or Kirk, for they'd surely lecture us again for leaving preparation early again. Thankfully, they were no where to be seen. As soon as I entered a room, I collapsed on the bed.

Dre followed behind me, and sat down close by me while he hugged me.

"I'm so sorry," he moaned

"You didn't do anything," I breathed back

"I was a jerk to you. I've just been feeling very off all day," Dre continued sadly.

"So have I. I don't even recognise myself any more, one minute I'm bold and brass on the interview, then cold, then happy again, then depressed and now I'm just a wreck," I cried

"You're not a wreck, your just sad, it's to be expected," Dre soothed me

"I just don't know who I am anymore. I feel like I'm losing myself. Like I'm drowning," I explained, remembering my most recent nightmare.

"Be you. Your perfect the way your are. The way you were before you Cameron asked about being allies yesterday," Dre told me

"I'll - I'll try," I replied

"I love you," Dre told me solemnly

"I know,"

"So why don't you tell me what's wrong? Was it because I asked you about Rosa-May?"

"I don't know. This morning all I could think about was sad things. I couldn't even concentrate on my own thoughts without it being completely silent," I said, my voice faint.

"But you told Cameron. You laughed with Cameron. Cameron said you were becoming the old you again. The one from before the Groupings, he said it was my fault you were so... Different this morning,"

"I don't know. I don't want to be who I used to be anymore. I was a completely different person then, this isn't a world where I can be like that anymore, but this morning something happened when I was with Cameron and I just became the old me again,"

"Cameron makes you happy," Dre stated

"So do you. I like the happiness you give me though," I answered, I was surprised to find this wasn't a lie.

"You do?"

"Yes. Cameron's happiness makes me forget. Makes me think everything was they way it was 7 years ago, but it's not. It can't be. And then it hurts more when I realise that were in the present, not the past. Cameron doesn't seem to understand I'm not like that anymore," I explained carefully.

"He only does it because he's missed you, he'll catch on soon,"

"You make me remember yet you still make everything seem fine," I admitted shyly.

"I do?" Dre grinned.

"Yeah,"

"Your wonderful? You know that right?" Dre asked teasingly

"So are you," I giggled

Dre then simply stared into my eyes for a few moments, then he leaped on top of me and started tickling me. Dad used to do this to me all the time. It hurt to remember happier times, but Dre numbed the pain.

"Hey! Mind my table!" Dre warned me

His table?

"I'm in your room?" I asked suspiciously

"Yes," Dre answered slowly

"Ow," I muttered, my headaches creeping slowly back to me.

"What's wrong? Does it smell?" He fretted

"My head," I moaned

"What's wrong with it?"

"I don't know, it just really hurts," I sobbed

"Come here," Dre said softly, drawing me into a comforting hug.

I lay there in his arms for a few minutes, simply crying until the pain had subsided. When it did, I was shocked at how much I liked laying here. How much Dre's sweet scent appealed to me. Not like Cam's, but a more subtle, loving way. I was Shocked to find that when Dre rubbed my back soothingly, it did send sparks up my spine. Like it did when Cam touched me. Did this mean that I cared for Dre more that a mere brotherly love? Like I cared for Cameron? Was I I love with him? Could this be my chance to have a relationship before I died?

"Dre," I whispered, looking up.

"Yes?" He asked looking down on me.

His brown eyes made me blush, I was glad he wouldn't be able to notice. They searched mine, I lost all ability to speak. So I did something I've never done before. I kissed him. I leaned in and brushed my lips on his, letting them linger there for a few moments. My first kiss.

"Are you Ok?" Dre asked me after I'd pulled away

"Perfect," I smiled

Dre leaned back in and kissed me again, more fiercely this time, I leaned back on his bed, placing my arms around his neck, the way I'd often read that girls did in the books. The way mum used to with dad. I felt like I was going to explode with excitement and joy, my mind was filled with Dre, and of all the times I'd seen him look at me, the times he'd hugged me, when he'd spoken. I felt blissful.

"Oh and by the way, I told Cameron we'd be allies," Dre breathed

Cameron. I loved Cameron. Loads. And I knew it was the love like mum and dad's, and I knew he loved me back, but not in which way. I knew for sure that Dre loved me. I knew I loved him back, and before this I was sure that it was strictly a brotherly love. But after this afternoons events, I wasn't Sure. When he had patted me on the back, I was sure I had felt a gentle tingle shoot up my spine, and when I looked into his eyes I felt my whole body shiver. Who did I love most though?

"Awesome," I answered breathless.

"You love me now?" Dre asked nervously. I knew what he meant by this question. I decided I'd be honest with him.

"I always did,"

"So your my girlfriend now?" Girlfriend?

"If you want me to be,"

"Of course I do! But I don't want you to just do it out of pity,"

"Why should I pity you? I'm being sent off to die as well!" I replied smirking.

"I love you," Dre whispered in my ear.

"Oh how nice," A cold, sarcastic voice said from the door. It was a very familiar voice.

"Cameron?" I gasped.

"How did you get onto our floor? The main door's locked!" Dre asked, astonished.

"I was worried about Lee Ann, and when I came up the door was open," Cameron explained icily.

It must have been left open, when Dre had hurriedly guided me in when I had a headache.

"Looks like you're all better now? Who's room is this anyway?" Cameron asked mockingly.

I followed his gaze and found that I was seated quite inappropriately on Dre's lap, and his arms were very protectively wrapped around my waist. I hastily removed myself, and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Mine," Dre replied stiffly

"So you run after her and bring her to your room?" Cameron says, his eyebrows raised.

"It's not like that," I protest hotly.

"It's not?" Cameron asks, unconvinced.

"I had a really bad headache and he just brought me here because it was closest, so I could lay down," I explained quickly.

"Yeah!" Dre agreed.

"So why were you making out on his bead?" Cameron asked me stonily.

"You saw that?" Dre asked idiotically.

"Weren't trying to hide it were you? You were literally sucking her face off!"

"Well I didn't think you'd be watching, this being Group 8's floor," I retorted

"I love you, Lee Ann! More than he does! I knew you, before he did, I know what _you're_ really like,"Cameron suddenly burst out.

Silence.

"That's impossible," Dre snarled "No one loves her more than I do,"

"Is that right? so why am I up here then? Do you know how much trouble I could get in if I'm found?"

"Then leave!" I yelled, surprised that those words had come out of my mouth.

"W-What?" Cameron stuttered, hurt etched in his face.

"Leave. Please, your giving me a headache,"

"B-but I.. I wanted to- so you're choosing him?"

"Yes," I replied tightly "You were my best friend Cam, but you don't know the me now,you don't understand me anymore, because it's not the same," I explained

"But it can be! I can make it be the same, like this afternoon!" He exploded

"It can't! That was the past, and now is now, and things are different. _I'm_ different,"

"What? And he gets you, does he?"

"Sometimes," I answered truthfully.

"He called you mentally challenged!" Cameron protested.

"I didn't mean to! I wasn't comparing her to her mum!" Dre piped up defensively.

"Her mum?" Cameron asked, curious.

Shit.

"Just go, Cameron! Leave me alone, all you do is bring bad memories with you!" I yelled, jumping up and pushing him out the room.

Tears silently dropped off his face as he turned and left. I shut the door angrily behind him,before falling to the floor in a crumpled heap. Dre leapt up quickly putting his arms around me, whispering reassurances in my ear. I snuggled into him. My skull was banging now. I want to to home. I want to go home. I want to go home. Mum? Where are you? You're supposed to look after me? Mum I want to go! Mummy? Come and get me, I've fell out with Cam? You know cam, my best friend?! Mum? Mum, I don't know what to do anymore, mum? Please, I'm crying! Mum, you said I'd always be happy? Get better mum, so you can come and get me? Mum.

A/N

Sorry the past 5 chapters haven't been very well written, but I've been reading very preoccupied, please review and tell me which way you think Lee Ann should go? Should she choose Dre or Cameron? Please review quickly, because the next chapter is the beginning of the Games in The arena and I want to know who she should choose to be her ally? I think she should choose Dre, but what about you? Any reviews will be appreciated? Also inbox me personally on here for tips on how to write this story better, for I fear I'm having writers block also, and when should. I next do a chapter from Tammy's point of view?


	18. Chapter 18: Cant think of chapter title

_"Lee? Come over here, I'm not going to hurt you," Cameron's voice called out._

_I began to walk over to him, every bone in my body screamed in pain. Why was I hurting so much? Did someone attack me? Was I already in the arena? At least Cameron was here._

_"No! Come on Lee Ann! He's from 3, he doesn't understand! He doesn't know, come on, I love you more," Dre's voice yelled from behind me, dragging me backwards, away from Cameron. Dre was here? I clutched on to him._

_"Beetle! I knew you from before, I understand, I know," Cameron argued, running up to me._

_"He won't! He doesn't know about your mum, or Savannah!" Dre retorted _

_"Then tell me, Lee Ann! Tell me, I want to know!" Cameron yelled desperately._

_"What do you want to know, Cameron? How to kill her?Its like this!" The deep voice of Gilda Hulk said tauntingly._

_Then it happened. Gilda threw a large rock at my head. I felt the blood pour out, leak into my eyes and my mouth. The last thing I would taste, I thought sadly, was my own blood._

_"You bitch!" Cameron bellowed, launching himself on her._

_Dre ran to me, and cradled me in his arms._

_"I love you, I told you to come with me, he planned this, and now your hurt,but stay with me, I'll carry you somewhere else, I'll make a bandage, i'll stop the blood," Dre said soothingly. His voice was so sweet, I thought._

_"I didn't! Look I just killed her Lee Ann!" Cameron objected holding up Gilda's limp body up as proof. I shut my eyes, I didn't want to see Gilda's dead body._

_"P-please," I moaned, afraid at how faint my voice sounded._

_"Her voice!" Dre screamed "She's dying!" He exclaimed_

_"I know! Happy now? You could've let her come with me if you really cared about her, but you had to stop her! She was coming too! She was going to come, and she'd be safe, but you came and ruined it!" Cameron exploded_

_"I-I-I'm sorry, I-I just thought she'd-" Dre stuttered, scared._

_"You didn't think! She's dying! I'm going to kill you!" Cameron bawled, leaping aggressively onto Dre._

_"N-No" I whined _

_"No! Let me go! She's dying, I want to hold her! Lee Ann, stay with me!" Dre yelled._

_Cameron cursed loudly. _

_Stop, I tried to say, Run I tried to tell them, so no one else would come and find us. _

_My head felt as if it was being split in half. I was going to bleed to death. Gilda had been right. I would die painfully. Mum. You were supposed to keep me safe. Mum where are you? You remember Cameron right? From before the groupings? Call his mother, get her to stop him!_

_Dre's cries of pain echoed in my ears._

_"Mum!" I screamed as loud as possible, "Come! Stop them! Bring dad, and stop them! Mummy, I love him, I don't want him to die please come and stop him!" I screeched, with new found strength._

_"Who, Lee Ann, who do you love?" Cameron asked quickly, pushing Dre aside._

_"Dre. Run, as fast as you can and win. For me,"I said with my last breath, and then I died. All the sounds faded out, and the colours turned to black, and I simply died. While Dre held my hand and and sang softly to me, saying I wouldn't die, he wouldnt let me die. But i did. Its not his fault. Now, at least he could win._

I woke up in a start, covered in sweat. I glanced at the clock on my night side table. It read _5:30am._

Why was I up this early? The last day of Prep had been yesterday, Daisy had assured me that today I wouldn't have to get up until 1pm at the earliest. I was up because of the nightmares. Every night it was the same one. The dreaded choice between Dre and Cameron. While I dithered, Gilda or any of the other volunteers who hated me would come along and attempt to kill me. They always succeeded. But not before Cam would attack Dre and Dre would cry and sob about how guilty he felt. Then my last sentence was always the same; _"Dre, run, as fast as you can and win, for me,". _I could never fathom what these dreams meant. Did I love Cameron more? After all he had killed Gilda for me, his own group partner. Or Dre? Who had held my hand while I died, and cried over my death, refusing to accept that I was dying?

After that afternoon when I became Dre's girlfriend, Prep had become much easier, surprisingly. I went back to the Axe station and threw more axes, none of the succeeding in getting half way across the floor, never mind hitting a tree. Obviously I did this on purpose, for I wished to keep up my weakling act for the final interview. Group 6 laughed at my fails in relief. I didn't go back to the Gun's station, feeling I was competent enough in that area, which I was. But on the last day, I went back and tried shooting, I didn't hit any of the targets. Gilda and group 1 openly teased me about this. Obviously, once again I did this on purpose. I also tried archery station, while everyone was looking and acted as if I couldn't even organise the bow and arrow correctly. All the volunteers laughed at me, and said what was to be expected from someone from Group 8. The only stations I actually put effort into were Swimming and Snares and Traps. I was now, according to the trainer, a fully accomplished swimmer, and should the situation arise in which I'd need my new found skill, she'd have all faith in me. I wasn't as good in Snares and Traps, as Cameron didn't help me anymore. Since that day in Dre's room, he hasn't spoken to me. Well he greets me stiffly, and asks me how I am, but no more than that. We've still agreed to be allies, but were not friends any more. Which is completely understandable. I'm with Dre now, and he's angry and jealous. Its weird, since he speaks to Dre more than he speaks to me. I don't question it though, it's best their friends, so that they can survive in the Arena and my nightmares won't be likely to come true.

The main point however, is that all the volunteers think I'm a weakling with no talent or skill whatsoever, apart from Dre, who thanks to Daisy who organised for us to have private preparation sessions twice, has seen me throw a knife. And despite my disgust and promises never to do it again, an axe as well. Which to my horror, I am very good at.

I glance back at the clock. It's 5:50am.

Lazily, I get up out of my bed. As soon as my foot hits the floor, I fall with it, as an angry pain attacks my head. I curl up in a ball at the foot of my bed, screaming in pain, as my skull splits in two. These migraines have been happening a lot more often, of late. But never first thing in the morning. I scream again, as the violent pain bangs at my skull.

"_Lee Ann," My mothers voice calls softly._

_"Mummy?" I ask_

_"I thought you stopped calling me that?" Mum chuckles._

_"Only to be grown-up," I admit sheepishly._

_"Oh but you are, Lee you are, and Mummy's very proud of you," _

_"Where are we mummy?" I ask_

_"In the capitol," My fathers voice says._

_"Daddy? You're here too? Why are we in the Capitol?"_

_"You already know," Dad says,_

_And I do._

_"I'm going to die," I whisper._

_"Not if you don't want to," Mum says,_

_"But I do. If Dre and Cameron can survive, then I will," _

_"We love you Lee Ann, very much, and we're very proud," My parents say in unison._

_"I know. I love you too, and Tammy and Savannah," I say hoarsely._

_"Listen to Kirk Lee Ann, listen to him," My dad says seriously._

_"I will," I murmur._

_"I love you Lee," My mothers voice says over and over until finally I can't hear it anymore. _

"Mum?" I call out "Mummy! Don't go, stay! Mummy stay!" I cry, again and again until warm hands wrap themselves around me.

"Dre?" I half sob.

"Lee? What is wrong?" Dre asks worriedly.

"I had a headache," I mutter

"Another one?" Dre moans

"Yeah. It hurt so much, and I- I- I heard my mothers voice this time," I admit nervously.

"What?"

"And my dads. They told me to- to listen to Kirk and that they love me," I whisper

"Do you hear their voices each time?" Dre asks me.

"No. Just today,"

"They said to listen to Kirk?"

I nod my head.

"Today's the last interview Lee Ann," Dre tells me sadly.

"The last interview?" I stammer

"Yes. At midnight today we're going into the Arena," Dre whispers back.

I curl back into a ball, and try and get lost in my thoughts again.

"Its 6 am Lee Ann, go back to bed," Dre tells me.

"I don't want to. I'll have nightmares again," I argue

"Nightmares?" Dre repeats sharply.

I haven't told him about them.

"Dreams. I-I.. Hear things in my sleep and see things that make me wake up," I muster.

"You've been having nightmares? And you didn't tell me?"

"They're about you,"

"What?"

"Dre please, I don't want to remember," I plead

He drops the topic, and tucks me into bed, when he gets up to leave, I pull him back down so he's lying there with me.

"Tell me something," Dre breaths into my ear.

"Yes?"

"You are sad right?"

"Y-Yeah," I mumble

"Good. Because I am too,"

"Dre, tell me bout Melanie Fosters?" I say suddenly, remembering how for the last week of Preparation, apart from Cameron and I this was the person Dre spent most of his time with.

"She's brave. Very brave. She doesn't talk much, she just asks me to help her with the edible food and plant station, it's weird how most of our toddlers could excel at that station whereas 16 year olds can't complete the beginners bit. I think she's scared, because Gilda bullies her. For being Irish, Gilda says they're the dumbest race out there," Dre says softly, "She likes you a lot though, and when I told her you were my girlfriend, I think that's the first time I've seen her smile,"

"She likes me?"

"Yes. She says you're pretty and smart and remind her of her mum," Dre replies

"Her mum?" I gasp

"Yes. Are you sad?" Dre asks carefully.

"I don't know. Why would she like me? I've never spoken to her, except to help her with the edible plants station, I'm no one special,"

"You really don't know how others see you, do you?" Dre asks me, laughing.

"I don't know what you mean,"

"You wouldn't. How come you spend most of your time swimming? Group 6 are always saying what a useless skill it is,"

"I find it relaxing. I always said that if I ever had the chance I'd learn to swim," I reply snappily.

"That's good of you,"

"Dre," I murmur

"Yes?"

"Sing to me again? I want to go back to bed," I ask childishly. When Dre sings me to sleep, the nightmares aren't that long.

"Do you want me to stay agin?" He asks

"Of course,"

"What if Kirk sees again?"

I remember that night Kirk saw us, he spent at least an hour lecturing is on how stupid this relationship is. Saying that one of us was going to die, and it would only cause heartache, in which I retorted that I didn't want to end up like him and Rosa-May. He didn't say anything after that, just simply left. Since then I haven't spoken to him, and receive his instructions through Daisy. I suppose if I live through this I'd have to apologise for that as well. Not that I would survive.

"Just sing, Dre," I sigh

And then he begins. He sings my favourite lullaby that I taught him from before the Groupings, he'd once heard me mouthing it in Prep, when I taught him the lyrics he turned it into the most angelic thing I'd heard. I didn't know he could sing like that. His voice was like a million violins in perfect harmony, never breaking or faltering, once.

_You are my sunshine,_

_My only Sunshine,_

_You make me happy, when skies are grey,_

_You never notice, how much I love you,_

_So please don't take my sunshine away,_

_I used to sing this song in my head every day after mum went ill. Because she was my sunshine. She always made me happy. Then she left. And I'd never see her again._

_"Mummy," I said quietly in my head, "You'll never see me again, and I'll never hear your voice, but I love you. You always made me happy, and when you left I died. I died. I'm not Jesus, so I didn't come back alive, even though I wish I could. I've been dead since you left. That's why me dying now won't make much a difference. Dre makes it a bit better and so does Cameron, but your not mum anymore, so I'm still dead. And I'm never coming back alive," _

Dre's constant breathing lulled me to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19: I really can't do this

Chapter 19: Goodbye's  
A/N  
This chapter will be particularly long.

"Lee Ann, get up," A soft voice said  
I remained asleep and unmoving.  
"Lee Ann, please, just get up, it's going to happen whether you do or don't," The voice said again,pleading.  
"I don't want to," I murmured "I don't want to go to the Arena, Dre," I whined  
"I know you don't, but we have to," Dre said sadly.  
"I'm going to get killed," I moaned  
"No you won't, because I'll be there. And so will Cameron," Dre added grudgingly  
"What do we have to do today?" I asked quietly.  
"Get dressed. By Daisy. Go to our final interview, then we come back upstairs and eat and we- we.. We go up to the Arena," Dre listed

Mechanically, I rise from my bed sheets and sit up, I stretch out my arms as my way of asking Dre to help me. I don't know why I am being so childish, but today I don't feel like moving or getting up or being responsible. I feel like going to bed and never waking up. Once I'm standing up and I take a few steps to test my legs, I walk to the bathroom to take a shower.

"Lee Ann, what are you doing?" Dre asks me  
"Taking a shower," I reply sarcastically.  
"Why? Daisy's getting us dressed today, she says not to do anything to our bodies or she'll scratch it until it's just shreds," Dre reminded me.  
"Oh yes," I answer, remembering Daisy's threat from yesterday.

Dre takes my hand and leads me out my room and into the kitchen. Quickly he takes up a cheese swirl, whatever that is, to me it just looks like bread and cheese, and hands it over to me with a glass of orange juice. I hastily gulp down the juice and swallow the bread, when we arrive in the main room, everyone goes silent. I'm used to this happening. It seems whenever Dre and I go anywhere people feel the need to stop and stare no matter how many times they've seen us.

"You guys are up early," Sparkle comments  
I glance at the clock. It's 2pm. I woke up at 5:30am. This is early to them? I wish I hadn't woken up. I wish that I had let Dre just sing me to sleep and let me stay that way. Asleep forever. Peace. Forever peaceful.

"I've been awake since about 6," Dre says drily.

"Why?" Daisy asks, incredulous.

"Because Lee Ann was," Dre replies simply.

Kirk snorts loudly at this comment.

"Well are you just gonna have us stand on ceremony or will you tell me why I'm here when I should be crying in my room?" I ask emotionless.

"Yowch," Daisy mutters

"Well, missy, today is the day you have your final interview, and go into the Arena-"

I cut him of nastily, "Well never, today is the day I go to live in the Capitol with my family and live the rest of my days in amazing comfort,"

Daisy chuckles to herself.

Dre squeezes my hand, and tells me not to get worked up. He's right, calm done Lee Ann.

"Shut up. Anyways, I have to work on your personality for this interview. It can be different from the first one, but it has to represent how you want the sponsors to view you in the Games," Kirk explains.

"I'm still going to be quiet. Like my brother," Dre says stiffly

"I suggest you do, they won't like it if you get all high and mighty after walking out on your last interview," Kirk snaps.

"And you?" Daisy asks me.

"I dunno. I think I'm going to be me," I tell them quietly

"Like last time?" Kirk says sarcastically.

"No. I'll be quiet too, I think, in recognition of the fact that I'm going to die,"

Sparkle gasps at my comment.

"Die? Lee Ann don't be so dramatic, you're always victimising yourself!" Sparkle scolds me

"What?" Kirk,Dre , Daisy and I all gasp in unison.

"She's being sent off to die. How is recognising that being dramatic? She is the victim here!Are you stupid? Have you not been around for the past 7 years? Have you never wondered what happened to all those other volunteers?" Dre asks her, venom in every word.

"Dre, calm down," Daisy says mildly.

"No!" He yells "I will not calm down! We're all being sent off to our deaths and nobody cares! I'm going to have to let someone kill me in order for my girlfriend to live! How is that beginning to get fair? How is that civilised? It disgusting! Repulsive! And she accepts it! Enjoys it! It's people like her and the other Capitol citizens that get15 innocent children killed every year!" Dre bellows, staring daggers at Sparkle.

"I-I'm sorry Dre, I didn't mean to scare you I-I-" Sparkle stammers

"Get out," I snarl

"Pardon?" She asks

"I said get out! All you do is make him sad and angry! So leave," I hiss, remembering all the times that Dre had to leave the room in order to stop himself from attacking Sparkle with her untactful remarks.

Sparkle all but sprints out the room, happy to get away from our death glares. When she leave, Dre sits down in her vacated seat and pulls me into his lap. I snuggle up closer to him, and whisper calming words in his ear.

"About time someone told that cow where to stuff it. Now as you were saying K," Daisy says casually, looking at Kirk.

"Yes- Well - um, so your both going to be quiet. Perfect. Now how about those new skills that I'm hoping you've learnt after these last two weeks, that will keep you alive in the arena?" He asks dramatically

I glance at Daisy quickly, telling her with my eyes that I don't want anyone to know about our secret training sessions. She avoids my gaze.

"I haven't got any. Just the gun, which I'm beginning to get useless at," I state

"Really? Why? Lee Ann?" Kirk asks me upset, I could tell he was upset by the fact that he used my full name And not just 'girly'.

"As I said, my asthma stops me from doing anything," I mutter, suddenly nervous.

"What about you lover boy? Anything to protect the missus?" Kirk asks looking away from me

"Yes. I can throw an axe pretty good,"

"What? Honestly? That wasn't a lie?" Kirk exclaims, eyes popping out of his head.

"Yes he's really good, better than the Group 6 volunteers, he slices through the trees effortlessly," I say, laying it on a bit thick.

"Not like you did," Dre objects, I shush him quickly hoping Kirk didn't hear.

"Impressive, did I ever tell you that my favourite weapon was an axe? Been throwing them since I could walk," Daisy says reminiscently

"I think it's pretty disgusting, boy, I could never touch an axe, frightened the life out of me," Kirk breaths

"Your one to talk. I seem to remember you being happy to use an axe if it meant chopping that Group 1 kid to bits," I snap. Remembering how scared the poor 12 year old had been when 18 year old Kirk turned on him with his own weapon.

Kirk ignores me.

"Your from 6 aren't you?" Dre asks Daisy unsurprised.

"Took you's long enough. I dropped enough hints," Daisy laughs

"I already knew," I say clearly, which I did, but I had enough of my ming than to worry about what group our stylist came from. "When you through that knife in the wall at sparkle but it hit it sideways," which is true, plus her accent was weird, a mix of american, spanish and english.

"Very clever," Daisy says, imitating Sparkle.

I scowl at her.

"I never knew. After 7 years of working together you never told me Dais, I thought you were from 1 all this time," Kirk says hurt.

"Sorry. I know what they all say about trust in relationships and no secrets, but honestly who cares? Did you even care if I was from 6? I'm not Rosa-May and you'll never love me like you loved her, so I didn't see the point in trying to make this relationship work," Daisy says in that famous, uncaring voice of hers.

I gape at her. She and Kirk are in a relationship? I thought he loved Rosa-May? Was it my fault for bringing her up all the time that Daisy was getting jealous and fed up?

"Dais, I-" Kirk begins

"Forget it, send the kids in when they're ready to get dressed," Daisy says tiredly, as she walks out the room.

"Sorry Kirk. I'm very sorry for spoiling things," I apologise immediately forgetting that I've been ignoring this guy for the past 2 weeks.

"It's not your fault," He replies unsteadily

"It is. I kept bringing her up. I'm sorry for lying to you as well. My dad didn't send me here unprepared, I can throw axes. And swim. And throw knives," I garble quickly.

"I knew it. I just wondered why you hid it from me, I saw you throw a knife, I don't think I'll be getting in a fight with you any time soon," kirk says attempting to smile.

"Daisy told you?" I guessed.

"Yep, you don't know how worried I got when I actually thought you couldn't do anything,"

"Ha,"

"Anyways, I suppose you should go to Daisy now, and guys this is the last time I'll see you,"

"What?" Dre exclaims "You're our tutor! Who is supposed to help us,"

"It's Daisy who stays with you now. I don't know why, since she's your stylist, but that's how it's been for years,"

"Any last advice?" I ask wearily

"Keep safe. Hide. Don't fight with the other volunteers unless you have to,"

"We won't," I swear

"Let's go," Dre says quietly, grabbing my hand and leading me to Daisy.

"Wait,Kirk? How did you meet my parents?" I shout over my shoulder, remembering the question that had been plaguing my mind for days.

"I'm your mother's younger brother, and I've been your dad's best friend since we were 5," he says smiling widely, before pushing us out the room.

Kirks my uncle? I've been here for weeks and I didn't know? I didn't remember? How could I not, I remember everything? Everything. Then it came flooding back.  
Mum and dad's first fall out

"Kirk," mum sobbed "He just left, he says he's stressed and can't deal with it anymore, Kirk he says he might leave! I didn't do anything, I just said I wanted to keep my maiden name, Green," mum cries.

Then another one.

"I can't believe Swan actually going to do this," Kirk sighs, as he hands my mother brown flowers "Rosa thinks it going to be her, because her dad killed one if the Capitol people, I think she's right, sis, if she goes I'll die, I love her so much," Kirk moans.

"She loves you too bro, why don't you tell her?" Mum says

"I don't want to frighten her,"

And another one.

"May I present the first of Group 8's Volunteers; Rosa-May Smith and Kirk Green," Sparkle calls out happily.

"No!" My mother screams "I volunteer! We volunteer, don't we babes?" Mum continues screaming appealing to my father.

"Ma'am, calm down, your not related to Rosa May you can't volunteer for her," the peacekeeper says firmly.

"You can't stop me! I volunteer!" She screeches in his face.

Then one more,  
"Zayn, there in it together! It's unfair! They're in love and they'll never know!" Mum sobs into dad shoulders.

"He'll tell her Hun, he'll tell her that he loves her and she'll tell him she returns the feelings, it'll be fine," Dad soothes

"It won't! Kirk is my brother, I know him! He won't tell her, he says he'll just protect until there's only a few left then leave! He's just going to leave her! Zayn, I can't manage! I just want to curl up and die!," mum cries

Then it stops.

Then I remember it all. Kirk is my uncle. My dad told me to trust him and I blatantly ignored him. I'm going to die. And I didn't even get to sort out my life before I left. I was going to die and leave this mess behind me. Rosa-May was my mother best friend. Kirk was my mothers brother. Dad was Kirks friend. Then all 4 began to hang out. And they fell in love with one another. How cute. Now I was here, going into the Arena with my boyfriend and best friend. How was I going to survive? This was a mess and my mother wasn't here to help me. Her brother had been the whole time, I could've gone to him any time for help and advice. That's what I get when I try to act like someone I'm not. Rosa-May, be with me. Stay with me Rosa May, for I know your watching. I know you're keeping an eye on Kirk.

"Goodbye Kirk," I whisper to no one in particular.

Goodbye _everyone_, I think to myself sadly.


	20. Chapter 20: I'm sorry Daisy

Kirk's my uncle. Kirk is my uncle. My uncle is Kirk. My mother's brother is Kirk Green. I didn't know. I didn't _remember_. I had known Daisy was from 6. Yet I had failed to connect the obvious connections between this poor, broken man and my poor, broken mother. The way his laugh would tingle around the room, infectious as ever, his calculating eyes that seemed to see and notice things before others did. Even his handwriting was similar to hers, curly and small. Now it's too late. I'm entering this arena with no means or plans of survival. I would die, in order for Dre to win. Cam would have to die. Melanie would have to die. Everyone would have to die. Because that's what the games are about aren't they? Death. The ultimate lesson of teaching us how to be stronger and withstand the worst. Lies.

I had the faint realisation of entering a room. The room smelt of paint and makeup. When I actually paid attention, I vaguely noticed Daisy standing near a styling counter, no sign of emotion showed on her face. I was tempted to reach out and hug her, or offer her some kind words and spin This whole mess into some sort of joke. But I couldn't. For various reasons. The most pressing, was that I could _feel _Rosa-May's presence around me. Her accusing eyes, looking at me, daring me to comfort the enemy. After all, it should be her who I support as she was my mother's best friend and if not for Nicholas Swan, may have soon became my aunt. But Rosa-May was gone. Yes, it wasn't her fault, and it was very sad, but she was gone forever. I didn't know her, what she might've said, if she would've been here, but I knew Daisy. I knew that underneath the sarcastic, cold shell, she must be very nice deep down. And she must actually care about Kirk as well, and if Rosa-May had loved Kirk wouldn't she want him to be happy with this other girl? Even as this thought reasoned with me, I still found myself unable to offer any sort of comfort to Daisy. So instead, I sat at the chair near the make-up counter, and proceeded to, once again, get lost in my thoughts.

"Daisy, I'm sorry," A voice said, it wasn't mine and I was the only one who needed to be apologising in here.

"What?" Daisy snapped, obviously she, like me, had been visiting her thoughts.

"I'm sorry. About Kirk and- and Rosa-May," Dre went on, hesitating slightly at the end.

I shot him a warning glance, trying to tell him that the last thing Daisy wants is our pity.

"_You_, have nothing to be sorry for," Daisy said, while applying some blue eyeshadow to him.

"Erm. Thank's Daisy. You've been a amazing stylist, your preparation outfits were perfect," Dre said unsure.

Daisy nodded curtly, in acknowledgement. We were all silent while Daisy brought our faces to life with her eccentrically coloured make-up.

"How come we stay with you for the rest of the day and not Kirk? He is our mentor?" I questioned.

Daisy glared at me for a few moments before answering, trying to figure out if I was for real, probably. I didn't even know if I was.

"I don't know. I don't write the rules, do I?" She demanded finally.

"I was just wondering. So since your who were left with, what advice do you have for us?" I persisted, dangerously.

Daisy stared daggers at me.

"Don't stay near the Cornucopia. Grab whatever's close to you and find water," She replied shortly.

"That's what Kirk told us," I noted unnecessarily.

"Well it's pretty sound advice." Daisy retorted trying to be cold and sarcastic but it failed, as her voice cracked at the end.

"Daisy really, you've done an ama-" Dre began

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, it's all my fault," I burst out "I ruined it!"

"You _helped_ ruin it," Daisy corrected me, brushing some bright red lipstick on my lips.

"Daisy, come on?" Dre interjected.

"No it's true, I did help, I kept going on about her, I didn't know I swear! I didn't know anything," I cried.

"I know you didn't," Daisy sighed "I did have my suspicions, you do look quite a lot like his sister, and your hair colours the exact same shade as his. Raven black, with hints of grey at the back. Rosa-May was his love. First love and that crap, I suppose I was his rebound,"

"Your not. He must've really cared for you, I bet your the reason he's kept reasonably sane during these past 7 years. You're special to him," I whispered soberly.

"I hear him cry her name in his sleep, he dreams about her Lee Ann!" Daisy suddenly exploded into tears.

I had no idea what to do. I have never been in this situation before, and now I had a fully grown capitol woman sobbing in my lap. She was going to ruin her make-up I thought ti myself. Even Dre was speechless. That's a first.

"It's going to be fine. He can't escape the nightmares, it was a ... horrific event," I muster

"Yes. It was. I'm feeling sorry for myself, I need to stop that. Anyways, as you can guess, I've dressed you as farmers since you farm your crops. But I've added slight twists," Daisy explains, wiping away the tears.

I was surprised to see that I was dressed in a very cute farmers out fit. When had Daisy done this? Must have been when I first came into the room, lost in my thoughts. I looked down amazed, a normal farmers out fit in Group 8 were usually unisex grey suspenders that ended at your knee's, complete with a large hat to block the sun. These outfits were completely different, I had a puffy light blue skirt, which my mind named as denim, and underneath is came spirals of a dark and menacing looking material that twisted around my legs. The top half of my outfit was normal, except for the very cute hat, that ended in spikes around my head. My shoes, were magnificent, they were shaped like spades, but they looked lethal. Deadly. Slight twists, I breathed in my head. Daisy has made me into a deadly farmer. This would not go well with my quiet personality I wanted to adopt for this interview. My make-up contradicted the whole out fit, my bright red lipstick and blue shadow with slight hints of rouge on my cheeks made me look girly and innocent. Daisy, you've done it again, I thought to myself.

When I turned to look at Dre I see he was dressed exactly the same, minus the lipstick and rouge on his face, but only hints of blue eyeshadow on his eyelids. But his out fit was a deadly as mine, if possible, more. I love this girl, I chuckled to myself.

"Daisy.." I murmured.

"Make them pay,"Daisy muttered snidely.

"Who pay?" Dre asked, still admiring my outfit. Cute.

"Nicholas. The Capitol. Make. Them. Pay. In the arena, do everything you can to make them pay for this. For her. For...Rosa-May,"

All I could do was nod vigorously at Daisy's request, while Dre sat dumbstruck.

**A/N should've ended the chapter here really but I have lots of information I need ti fill in here, sorry! **

"Anyway's," Daisy says finally, breaking the silence "Lets talk about strategy. Since it's silent, and I can't be bothered to listen to my thoughts,"

"Well me, Lee Ann and Cameron are going to be allies," Dre begins, but I interrupt

"Lee Ann, Cameron and I," I correct him out of habit.

"What? Anyways, we're going to be allies, and Cameron and I have worked out that I'll catch the food and he'll kill of the opponents with his traps," Dre explains, somewhat excitedly.

Is he excited? I wonder, does he understand what's going to happen? That we're all going to die. When did these plans get made? Probably while I was swimming, and Cam and De were throwing axes and setting snares and traps. While I swam. In bliss, surrounded by the blue peaceful water.

"Right," Daisy says sceptically "What you doing then?" she asks looking over to me.

I didn't really want to speak, or else I might get lipstick on my teeth.

"I don't know. I wasn't there when they made the plans," I say

"So what were you doing? I've been hearing quite a lot about your eventful preparation sessions, what exactly has been going on? I only took you down there by yourself because _you_ said you couldn't learn in those conditions? Please tell me you at least tried?" Daisy demands.

"I did try. But they always wanted to do something different," I protest weakly. Very weakly. I hope it wasn't to obvious that I had given up.

"So what did they want to do? In fact, tell me what all the other volunteers are good at?" Daisy asks impatiently.

I look at Dre, motioning for him to explain.

"Well 1 are good with guns, and hand-to-hand combat, and they tried to learn how to use a spear but didn't get too good at it. Group 2 isn't good at much, the girls pretty fast and they're both good swimmers, gut other than that they only seem to be able to do archery and then not with a big bow. Cameron's from 3, so were not worried about him,but they're pretty good with guns since they develop advanced technology and snares and traps too. 4 are pretty strong and fast, and they're good healers so like us they know what do with certain plants, and how to use them to heal, but not as detailed as us," Dre adds the last party proudly, I smile at his innocence "From Group 5-" He pauses unsurely. Our little friend was from 5 and it did tug at my heart to say that she and her group partner were pretty useless at everything, and would most likely be killed in the battle at the Cornucopia.

"She's tried to get good with Edible fruits and plants, and her group partner tried archery," I butt in.

"So what you're saying is they're pretty useless? That's good keep going," Daisy interjects

I try t shake off the anger I feel when I hear Daisy say that so breezily, even happily, happy and relieved that 2 of our opponents will be killed on the first day.

"And 6 are pretty gruesome, they're really good with axes and spears and have pretty good range with them too, and they are good with hand-to-hand combat. 7 are good too, they seem ti be able to make any sort of weapon out of anything remotely close to metal," I say enviously " I think 7,6 and Gilda from 3 and maybe 1 are the real opponents. So as soon as we go in the arena, we should just run, forget picking anything up from the Cornucopia and run, we can always go back there after," I say, speaking more to myself than Daisy.

"But Cameron says we should stay there, since normally the volunteers from 1,2 and sometimes 4 for their healing ability group together as allies in the beginning to hunt the weaker volunteers, and this year we know 4 aren't grouping with 1 because of what happened last year(**Sorry- Last year Group 1&2 volunteers slashed ten volunteer from 4 into tiny pieces for refusing to kill one of the ten year old volunteers)** and we know the polish guy from 2 isn't joining any sort of ally ship with anyone, it gives us an advantage. We'll be the strongest team there," Dre argues

"I don't care. They could be lying to everyone about that, I say we just run and leave there, then hide by some sort of lake or pond. We can collect our own supplies, because we know how to use the plants and things!" I say hotly.

"But if they are we stand a chance because we're-"

"No!" I yell over him "We're not staying there. Well I'm not, so if you guys want to be my allies you'll be following me away from the Cornucopia,"

Everything's silent, Daisy is looking at me with something I can only describe as pride in her eyes. Dre looks slightly hurt, but I din't care, I just have a strong feeling that we should stay far away from the Cornucopia. I'm not big or strong, and loads of people who want me dead are, so I won't be staying in close proximity with them, and the Cornucopia is where most weedy looking people like me get killed. Anyone with half a brain would steer clear of the place.

"Fine. I'll run with you, but I don't know if Cameron will agree," Dre says finally

"I don't care if he does, just as long as you'll come with me," I reply tightly, shocked to find that this was true.

Daisy snorts loudly at this.

"Well that's sorted out. I think Juliet over here is right, stay away from the Cornucopia. Well maybe you have a chance, Dre, but Lee Ann's not as fast," Daisy tells us.

"Juliet?" Dre asks

"She's from a book," I supply

"An old book from before the Groupings. She was a girl who fell hopelessly in love with someone she shouldn't have. In the end they both died for each other," Daisy finishes

"They killed themselves to be together," I remember "Well Romeo did,"

"How do you both know this? That sort of stuff isn't allowed anymore, we're only allowed to read Capitol-Made Books," Dre says.

"I love reading, I saved some old books I used to have," I explain

"And my parents are into history. They're pretty old so they tell me a lot of this stuff, it's interesting. I was 13 when the Groupings happened, and I wasn't very cultural, i just wasted time, so I don't know much about Britain before Swan," Daisy says mildly.

"And they always say you have to know your past or else it'll just repeat itself," I add knowingly.

"Weird, you're both weird. Anyways, Lee Ann I have something to tell you," Dre says seriously, turning to me and grasping my hands in his.

"Yes?"

"I love you. More than you'll ever understand, I just want you to know," His eyes search mine hungrily. I'm dumbstruck, I don't know what to say, even Daisy has no sarcastic comment.

"I love you too," I choke out "You're my first boyfriend and you'll be my last. You made me haply when I thought there was no chance of it," I continue

"I can't be your last, when I die you have to move on," Dre protests

"I can't and I won't. Don't make me, and I might die too,"

"We've been over this guys, we know you'll die for each other, but for now just kiss and let's wait for the call up to the interviews," Daisy cuts in.

We goth smile at each other then lean in and kiss, my lipstick smudges and goes all over his mouth area, I'm sure we look slightly ruffled when we're done but I don't care. I guess I am Juliet, my love is forbidden, it shouldn't happen, it can't happen, yet here I am letting it. In the end I will die, and knowing Dre he'll probably come and join me soon after. I just hope my family know that I love them and understand my reasons for giving up. For leaving them. For breaking my promises. For lying. That's all I seem to do nowadays.


	21. Chapter 21: I can cry? Tammy POV

Lee Ann's interview was coming on soon. I was not sure where to watch it. Lee had always taken us out to the Public Green to watch The games, but that was a tedious action, and tiring, plus I'm sure if it was me she'd watch my Games in the privacy of our own home. Yes. I'd watch it at home in privacy. I got up to search the house for our Game updates leaflet, to see what time her interview would come on. I couldn't find it. I searched again. Still, I couldn't find it.

"Mum?" I called, it still felt weird to say this one word. Mum had only just come back to us, but she came strong, insisting that we call her mum and ask her for anything we need and want.

"Yes, Tamara?" Mum called back, poking her head out the kitchen door, flour all over her apron.

It was annoying to have mum call me Tamara, nobody has called me by my full name in years. But when I asked mum to stop, she told me she was going to call me what she chose to when I was born. Even dad had begun to call me Tamara now, then again he would do anything to please mum. Thank God Savannah still called me Tammy, but if she stopped it'd be understandable for her since I call her by her full name. Her name is so pretty though, mine isn't. Mine is just uncommon and strange. Most people around here have normal names, like Emma and Tanya and such.

"When's Lee coming on Tv?" I asked tentatively

Mum hesitated before replying, "I'm not sure Tamara, won't that just make you sad, to watch her?"

"You watch her," I retorted, referring to the time when mum had sat for hours staring at Lee's face in her first interview. She sat there so silently for so long I thought we'd lost her again, but then Savannah came hime and rushed into her arms and everything was normal. Everyone always made things normal, Lee, Savannah, dad, mum but I just messed things up, like with Quen.

"I'm her mother, I want to make sure she's safe," Mum argued.

"I'm her sister, and I was there all this time, I want to see she's safe too!" I said hotly.

I always seemed to be arguing with mum, our personalities were too similar, according to dad. Which I argued about too, how was I similar to a person so emotionally fragile, quiet and dormant. But dad merely said, that's just how she was when she came to our group. He says she was fiery and cheeky before this, but that to me just sounds like what Lee was like before the groupings. To me, mum and Lee were similar, and dad and Savannah were similar and I was just.. Myself. The truth was, I didn't trust mum fully, I loved her and wanted her to love me too, as much as she loved Lee Ann, but she just didn't strike me as a mother after all the years of Lee Ann taking care of me.

"I'm your mother too, I don't want you to be sad," Mum says softer.

"I won't be," I assure her.

"Why don't you go do some archery? Before you go and get Savannah?" Mum offers.

This is the one thing about mum that I like, she understands my need to shoot, dad is always tense about it and urges me to try knife throwing like Lee or combat but mum understands that shooting gives me peace of mind Because it comes to me so easily and I don't have to try.

"Yeah, I think I will," I say.

"Off you go, and remember when you pick Savannah up to go and see your dad in the East of the Field,"

"Why? That's a long walk, why can't I just come home?" I ask

"I'm going to see someone," Mum replies tightly.

"I can stay here by myself with Savannah, I always do that when Lee had places to go," I say

"No. I won't be here, and I don't think I'll be back for a while, I'm visiting some oldfamily friends,"

"Is that why you're baking the cake?" I ask nodding towards the flour on her body.

"Yes. It cost me quite a lot to buy just one tub of flour though, I didn't know food would be so expensive, since we are the ones who grow and make it," Mum sniffed

I nodded in grim understanding.

"They live on the West side, how should I get go about getting there, Tamara?" Mum asks me blushing slightly, as she always did when she had to ask me for help or advice about Group 8, it made me feel important and older when mum asked me how to go about doing things in Group 8.

"Get on a cart. Should be only 5 pounds, why are you going so far anyway? The West Side is for those who have been punished, and their families, it's filled with people who have physical relationships before their 18 mostly. Or graveyards" I added thoughtfully.

"You get punished for that?" Mum asks in disbelief.

"Yes, so Lee better stay away from that Dre guy, or else she'll have hell to pay," I say huffily.

"Well five pounds is more than I have to spare, I may have to walk part of the way,"

Mum is right, 5 pounds is only a little bit less than what dad gets paid a day. And our rent a week is 20 pounds, and school lunches and fee's and food is pretty expensive too.

"Who are you going to visit?" I ask, while getting my coat and stuff together.

"A friend of mine. She's called Rosa-May," Mum says wistfully.

"That's nice," I mutter as I walk out the house.

I didn't know mum had friends from our group. That was a surprise.

The sun was shining bright and hot in the sky, and everyone was upset about it. I could see men and women sweating over the hard work. I quickly sprinted past them, not wanting to be delayed by my tendency to stop and help anyone I see in need, I had to force myself to look away from a skinny 14 year old trying to kill a wild cow For its meat.

In a quick 30 minutes I arrived at my serene garden, quickly I scaled the tallest, thinnest tree in seconds and picked a few juicy green grapes and ate them. I was starting to come here more often, it helped relax me when I started stressing about Lee Ann. It sounds awful, I know, but I wished she'd hurry Up and go to the Arena so at least I could keep daily tabs in her, I'm not as scared as I should be, Lee Ann was an ace knife thrower. And I'm sure no one would ever assume she could do that, so it would take her opponents by surprise. As long as she didn't get matey with that Dre guy and steered clear of Cameron she'd be okay. Even if Lee Ann or anyone else doesn't know, I do, Cameron was Lee's best friend before the groupings. I used to hear her say his name in her sleep, so after I'd heard that he'd been volunteered, I'd read the little pamphlets they give you about each volunteer and learned as much about him as possible. He, apparently had a dad who could've volunteered for him, since in their group you don't come of age until 16 his father had every right to volunteer fir him. I just hope her unfortunate caring streak didn't get in the way of her promise to me. She said she would try and come home. I don't forget.

"Isn't that illegal?" A familiar voice calls out to me as I pop another grape in my mouth.

I look up to see a heavily bandaged Quen, staring at me from the ground.I haven't seen him since that day my mum went to heal him, but he didn't notice I was there, he was high on painkillers. I almost climb all the way down to hug him, but I manage to land neatly on a low branch as if that was my plan all along.

"You tell me," I answer.

"Here, toss me one," He requests, sitting himself down on our log.

I stare at him, noticing how he limps, how the side of his body that he injured his shoulder on, sags slightly. I think I choke back tears. But that can't be right, I don't cry. Ever.

"Hey, I'm an invalid! Throw me one of those delicious berries," He asks again playfully

"They're grapes," I say, tossing him one.

There are a few minutes if silence as he slowly chews his grape and I stare at him.

"Aren't you gonna ask how I am? Since you were the one who did this?" He asks finally.

That's when I break. I actually cry. Tears are literally spilling from my eyes, as I jump the last ten metres into the ground and rush to Quen, hugging him tightly.

"I'm so sorry!" I sob "I'm a heartless cow!"

"Your not, your not, your a very kind cow," he soothes me playfully.

"I shot you," I point out, chuckling lightly.

"I gave you a lot to deal with. I shouldn't have told you I love you, you're only 10 after all,"

"Almost 11, it's my birthday next week," I remind him.

"Oh yes. So that makes how I feel 1 year less despicable than it is," Quen says.

"It's not despicable," I say assuringly

"Really? So you don't find it pervy anymore? I'm allowed to love you now?" He asks teasingly.

"Yes," I say tapping his nose " In fact, I love you too," I add indifferently.

This cracks through Quen's cool and calm outer shell.

"You do?" He gasps.

"Yes. But don't ask me in what way, or else this could be counted as illegal,"

"Wouldn't dream of it. Technically, everything we do is illegal," He says matter of factly.

Which is of course true, even now, as I sit on his lap hugging him tightly, and he kisses the top of my head lightly, can be looked upon as illegal and breaking the law of no physical relationships until both participants are of age 18. And my using weapons, and coming here to this meadow without permission from an official and eating the forbidden green grapes. Technically as punishment I should be dead.

"I know. You know your even older than my big sister, she's 13," I say

"What? She's 13? I thought she was 16 or something," Quen says mightily shocked.

"Yeah," I say

"How are you holding up?" He asks, holding me closer.

"Great. Well I'm anxious, but from tonight and forwards I'll be able to see her on Tv everyday and what see what she's doing,"

"You think- you think you'll be able to watch that?" Quen asks concerned

"I'll have to. I need to see if she's ok"

"I guess,"

Silence.

"Watch it with me?" Quen asks me suddenly

"Huh?"

"Watch the Games with me? Like a date?" Quen asks me again.

"Sure. If that's your idea of a date," I say laughing "But where will we watch it? You live in the posh side if the Group, I can't walk there everyday," I say

And it's true, Quen's family are those rare few that can afford 3 meals a day, and the rent. The rare few who are lucky enough to not have to work in the Growing fields, but work in the offices that observe and monitor the amount of food being made and sent off. I think that's what Quen's father does. Make sure all the right amounts of food are being sent off to the capitol and the richer groups. Then it'll be sent to the poorer groups, ours of course isn't sent off anywhere so we have the pleasure of it being fresh, but it's twice as expensive than it is in other Groups and we're only allowed to buy our rationed amounts. Nearly no one can even afford to buy their rationed amount. Lee Ann and Dad certainly couldn't, but we picked stuff up from the Fields and of course I illegally grow some small edible plants in our garden. But Quen, his family and him could afford their rationed amounts, which probably still wasn't enough to fulfil their hunger, but enough to get by, and some left over I should think. Enough so that they don't know what it feels like to be truly hungry, like I do. Once when I was 8 dad was really sick, he had a bad flu and couldn't go to work. Obviously mum was in no fit state to work, and Lee was only 11, she couldn't work and the Group officials did nothing about it and merely said our dad should get up and go to work. Those two weeks were probably the worst of my life. Watching Savannah slowly starve, to death even. Since then there have been variousother times when we go through a rough patch and struggle to get food, but we've learnt to save whatever we can from our food supply. Anyone in Group 8 knows not to eat all their food to be honest, as we were usually subjected to annual 'cutbacks' from the Capitol,where they would stop us all buying any type of food, and make us produce twice as more, as a celebration to the 'more advanced' groups for excelling with Swans new regime for making us a better nation. The last one was particularly horrible because it lasted 4 weeks, and Lee Ann gave Savannah all the food we could find as she was only just turning 3, so the rest of us all but starved, I know for a fact that Lee's heart failed once, but somehow dad managed to restart it. It was these memories that surged my hatred for the Capitol.

"I have a portable Game's player, I'll bring it here and we'll watch it," Quen explains

A portable Games Player. Figures. Only the richest could afford one of those. A game's player is basically a small screen, so that when you enter a specific year, it plays the all the episodes of the Games for that year. So when we enter the this year into it, it should play live whatever is happening in the Game's now. Honestly, even if I had the money, I don't think I'd buy one if those.

I nods and Quen leans forward onto my head, his chin prodding the top of it. We sit here for who knows how long, until I realise I have little shooting time before I have to go and get Savannah.

"I have to go," I tell Quen, who looks up shocked.

"Why? It's only been an hour, it's not even dark yet!" He protests, whic is understandabke as before mum came back I used to spend nearly half the day here and sometimes more.

"I know, but mum says I can't spend long here anymore, and I have to get Savannah from school," I explain unhappily.

"Mum?" He repeats

"My mum," I confirm, staring at him as if he's mentally challenged. Oh yes he doesn't know about my mothers recent recovery.

"She's.. She's better?"

"Much. She's the one who nursed you better," I say slowly.

"That was her? You look nothing like her,"

"Thanks," I say sarcastically

"You don't. She looks like Lee Ann a lot, like they are twins, they have the same complexion, except your mums a little lighter, and they both have the exact same eyes, brown but very dark, but you don't. You're much, much, lighter, and your eyes are green. And your hair is longer,"

"So I look like my dad then?" I ask, somewhat hopefully.

"No. Your dads dark too and his eyes are brown and his hair is afro like,and he's very big, your small, that's why it's so easy for you to climb trees,"

"You sure know how to make feel good," I say wryly.

"It's the truth. It just means you're unique,"

"I guess," I say "Anyways, I have to run, Savannah will be waiting,"

"I can't believe this, does your mum think this is before the groupings? Savannah's been walking home alone for ages,"

"I know, hey, race you there?" I offer

"My shoulder," He points out.

"Oh yes," I mutter, before running away from the meadow in shame.

I hurt Quen.

I love Quen.

Quen loves me.

I cried for Quen.

I can.. Cry?

A/N

Sorry this chapter is a little jumbled, but even though I have no reviews #sadface I've been receiving lots of PM's asking to bring Quen and Tammy back together, so I did! Thanks, please keep reading and please review as well!


	22. Chapter 22: Love hurts Tammy POV

It's coming on. The final interview is finally coming on. I wondered if maybeI could find Quen and we could watch it together, but I decided against it. I think I want to watch this with family. Mum's not back yet, I wondered maybe if she'd like us to wait for her and watch it together. But I know that Lee is something very precious and special to her, and this is very painful and she'd probably like to watch it alone at night. Dad's home. So is Savannah. I'm not very close to dad. Lee was. But it wasn't exactly a father-daughter relationship, no it was more like they were to work colleagues, working together to achieve the same thing. He barely spoke and when he did it was mostly to Savannah, but from the few sentences he's murmured to Lee Ann you can tell he views her as an adult. Someone fully capable of handling the family. Of raising her sisters. Which he should. Lee _did_ basically raise me and Savannah. Everything I know is either because Lee explained it to me, or my common sense did. Lee was the one who did my hair in the morning, who I watched slave in the kitchen for hours, put me to bed, and held my hand to cross the street. Not dad. Not mum. I learnt from a young age not to trust easily. When Savannah was born, I was about 6 and I was so happy because mum was beginning to come back to us and she would sometimes cuddle me and read me stories at night. I think that's why I love Savannah so much. Of course I'd love her whatever as she's my sister, but I never thought any love could rival the love I have fir Lee, but Savannah's does. Because her birth represented hope. Hope that mum would come back. Which she did. But she left again, and it hit me so hard. I cried myself to sleep most nights, and I basically took over caring for Savannah to distract myself. So then we all had our jobs. Dad went to work got money. Lee took the money bought food and such and cooked food. Once I was old enough I took Savannah under my wing and practically raised her. Yet recently, dad and Savannah have gotten closer. Personality wise anyone can tell they're basically twins. Obedient, willing to help, a bit of a pushover, gullible, of very few words. That was my dad, obedient to mum and Lee doing whatever they ordered, and willing to help anyone, and he was a slight pushover but very stern when he wanted to be and he was gullible. Willing to believe in anything if it gave him peace of mind. Just like Savannah.

"It's starting," Dad announces solemnly.

"Does this one have Lee Ann inside it?" Savannah asks, pointing to the TV.

"Yes," Dad and I say at the same time.

Savannah stares at us then turns to the TV, bouncing happily on dad's lap.

What I wouldn't give to be four again.

The Capitol anthem plays, and I see all 16 volunteers lined up on stage. When it's over they all sit down. I see Lee. She's sat in between Cameron and Dre. Great. Though she's sat very stiffly, keeping her hands placed gracefully, yet tensely on her lap, not touching either of them. Has she learnt then? Learnt she mustn't make friends, in order for her survival. Claudius Temple-Smith announces the show, and goes on about what an honour it is to be here blah, blah, blah. Then he introduces the first volunteer. It's Cameron. The crowd don't really burst into applause, but there are a few scattered claps. No sponsors for Cameron then, I'm guessing.

"Well, hello there Cameron! Nice to see you," Claudius greets him.

"Hello Claudius," Cameron replies warmly. So he's taking _that_ approach, I think To myself.

"How has preparation been? Successful? Are you happy with your grade?" Claudius prompts.

Oh, they were doing that again this year, I think numbly. Two years ago, Swan introduced Grades to the Games. Basically it's where after two weeks of watching preparation a group of Capitol citizens give you a grade in how they think you'll survive in the Games and this reflects on how many sponsors you'll get. The higher your grade the more sponsors.

A- Excellent

B- Good.

C-Satisfactory

D- Not well.

E- Terrible

No one has ever achieved and excellent, most get a D or a C.

"Yes, very happy, I got a C,"

"That's good, isn't it folks?" Caesar says brightly, appealing to the audience. A few people whistle and call, but not many.

"Well, have you got any allies?"

"Yes. Dre Balks and Lee Ann Clayton," Cameron says.

What.

I'm sorry, what?

I must not have heard right.

I feel dad's eyes turn and stare at me from the other side of the sofa. His expression is unreadable. I know he didn't want Lee to make friends, but now she's in an alliance with two other people. Twice the chance of her being killed.

"He said her name!" Savannah points out.

"Yes he did," I say stonily.

"Tamara? Are you ok?" Dad asks me looking at my fists, which are now tightly clenched, and balling up my skirt.

"Perfect," I answer, turning back to the TV.

The crowd all gasp.

"But how?" Caesar asks, true surprise on his face.

"We all got good grades, so it'll be ideal for us to be allies," Cameron explains patiently.

The crowd are obviously desperate for more info, obviously trying to see if there's some sort of 'love triangle' between these two boys and my unfortunately for them the three minute buzzer goes off as it does for every volunteer in the final interview marking the end of their screen time. The crowd boo and mock cry while Cameron leaves the stage. Surprise, Surprise, the next volunteer called up is Lee. That's when I see her costume. The daggers coming from her feet and head. The dark misty thing encircling her legs, the bold red lipstick, the pretty blue dress. She looks like a fantasy farmer, yet what farmer would have any need to look so... Deadly? I try to stare into her eyes, because that's the only place to fully read Lee's emotions, the only place where she can't hide them. Her eyes are glassy and look clouded. Like she's not really there. Maybe she isn't.

The crowd go absolutely wild as Lee takes her seat opposite Caesar. It makes me sick. That's _my_ sister, she's _not yours _you stupid Capitol people.

"My oh my! Look at you! Once again you amaze us with your choice of clothing!" Caesar gushes.

"It's not me, it's my stylist Daisy," Lee says modestly.

"But as I'm sure she know's only someone like you could pull these outfits off! First the sparkling berry and now the cute farmer! You look _fabulous_ darling,"Caesar stretches the word fabulous into at least 6 syllables.

"Thank you, Caesar," Lee says. At least she ditched the bold attitude.

"So, what's the deal with you and Cameron from Group 3 eh?" Caesar says winking.

"Nothing, we're allies," Lee replies simply.

"Are you sure? Because I think there's a hint of _romance_ there," Caesar sings, while the crowd cheer him on wildly.

"There isn't. I'm with somebody else." Lee says quite firmly this time.

I hear dad's sharp intake of breath at this. Or maybe it was mine, but I'm sure our thoughts are the same. Who could Lee _be_ with? This was the Hunger Games, there's no possibility for any sort of relationship. I can't feel my muscles anymore, it's like with that simple sentence Lee has frozen me. What was she doing? Has she forgotten her promise.

Caesar has to shout over the crowd "And who might that be?"

"Dre. Dre Balks," Lee says before getting up and walking away at the sound of her buzzer.

I immediately tune out the TV and turn to dad. I may not usually look to him for advice or comfort, but right now I'd look to a rock. I'm shattered. There's nothing left inside me. Lee took it with her when she went to the Games, but I was under the impression that she'd bring it back with her. Obviously not. She was going to purposely lose so that Dre or Cameron or whichever could win. Why? I want to scream. Are they more important than me? Your own sister? I ask myself desperately.

"Dad-" I gasp

"I know, I know," My dad says.

"What us she doing?" I demand

"I don't know. I told her to listen to Kirk. I told her not to make friends," Dad says frustrated.

"Why did she then?" I almost yell.

"I don't know, Tamara!" Dad shouts back

"What are we going to do? She can't die, I can't live without her!" I scream

"Neither can I! You're not the only one that cares!" Dad argues, standing up.

My temper flares at this comment.

"Oh yeah? So why weren't you there all those years, instead of just working and fussing around mum? We were the ones that needed you, not her! Lee needed a parent not just money, if either if you cared you would've been there!" I screech furiously, even knocking down various items from the shelf next to me.

I went to far. I can see it in dads eyes, he's not usually this vocal, in fact the only time he's ever shouted this much or said this much at one time was when he insisted that I stop my archery training. He stands there, just staring at me the tears building up in his eyes, if he was going to reply he wouldn't have the chance because then we see her. Mum. At the door, her face tearstained and her mouth hung open. Savannah is looking up at all of us in shock and terror,scooting closer to me. This gives me some pleasure, that out of the three of us she feels safer with me. I'm sure mum's going to beat the hell out of me for speaking like that ti my dad, but then we hear the TV.

"So what do you plan on doing in the arena, Dre?"

"Killing everyone so Lee Ann lives," Dre says darkly, before rising to leave in time with his buzzer.

So Lee Ann lives.

Lee Ann lives.


End file.
